BM - ATC's responsibility is not to tell aircraft on approach when they should lower the gear. Different airlines with varying aircraft types may have different procedures for this and if it is a noise issue then Heathrow Airport Ltd environment team are the people who should be working with all stakeholders to try to minimise the impact of aircraft noise.
For information a Notam has just been issued stating Runway 09R/27L will be closed from midnight tonight and is valid until 0600hrs 2nd August, believed due to runway maintenance. If this is the runway that affects you then you should have some respite for the next 3 weeks.