Snocrazee that was a very thoughtful post. I think you exhibited the highest of professional standards. You have the skills, and you used them to the best of your ability. Well done.
But objectively, you and I both know that the survival odds in that scenario are extremely low, even though the public often has different expectations. That does not exclude you, and especially your spouse, from feelings of sadness sbout the outcome after the fact.
I spent my 40 years dealing with the other end of life's spectrum. Largely because happy outcomes vastly outnumbered sad ones. But every stillbirth, neonatal death, or complication that didn't resolve the way I or my patients wished was a cause for sadness and reflection. Along with resolve to try better next time. Isn't that what professionalism is all about?
In our current messy state of affairs in health care in this country, I am glad there are people like you around and would have been pleased to work with you.