Back in the 80s, the theatre at RAF Lossiemouth was granted £5K from the PSI fund to upgrade the piano that was used for musical productions there...the proviso was that the old piano (which had been valued at £1,500) was given to the Officers' Mess. Needless to say, the inevitable happened and it was burned shortly after at a Buccaneer DiN. Two weeks later, a phone call was made by a member of the Buccaneer Sqn that he would like the secretary of the theatre club to open up the theatre for him as he had a four tonner to take the piano from the theatre to the Mess. He was Mess sec, and needed the piano for the Burns Night to be held that evening in the mess. He was somewhat put out when he was told that he could not have the piano...his wing commander had told him to get the piano from the theatre as the lack of a piano would ruin the evening's entertainment. Much bluster from the said Buccaneer pilot was forthcoming, but he still didn't get the piano. He was told to tell his wing commander (who was PMC) that if his squadron insisted upon burning £1500 pianos then they couldn't have the £5,000 one - especially if it meant throwing it into the back of a four tonner. Fortunately, the Stn Cdr's wife was a member of the theatre club and top cover held out!