Ethansa,
I'd say give it a few more tries. Being able to fly was something I'd always wanted to do ever since childhood. I was in the Air Cadets, but tragically never actually got airbourne. I actually went gliding with them once, but it was too windy all day and so never got up and once I was offered to go up in Chipmunks on a Sunday ...... just so happened this was the Sunday before a full 2 weeks of school exams that were to determine whether you did 'O' levels or CSE's ...... for those who can remember ! Soon after that my squadron HQ was burnt down by vandals and a load of good NCO's became too old and left paving the way for a load of w*nkers to take over as NCO's. I became disheartened and left !! Too bad really, but at least I could grow my hair really long (every cloud has a silver lining), which for a teenage heavy metal dude was all important !! ;-)
Anyway, I digress ........ the desire still smouldered away, and I had toyed with going to have a trial lesson in my mid 20's but for one reason or another I didn't. Anyway, I ended up moving to Canada and had quite a well paid job. I was also aware that flying was something like 2 to 3 times cheaper than in the UK so I thought, hey now is the time !! So I went along to the local flying school. On the day of my trial lesson/flight I was quite overwhelmed with it all really and was quite scared ! Thank fully my instructor eased me in gently (no 90 degree bank turns !!) infact no steep turns or anything like that. I was only given control when we were well established on climb out and did some gentle turns. Like you Ethansa I didn't even want to hold the yoke really !! On landing I had mixed feelings (I didn't take any part in landing - I wasn't offered and that suited me fine) about the whole thing, but convinced myself I did enjoy it and would return.
Anway, over the coming months I went back and each time became a bit more comformtable with it all, however at the same time, I was being introduced to slow flight, stalls and spins so on one hand I was comfortable with t/o etc but then being introduced to some scary stuff !! What a nightmare (well stalls and spins anyway). I recall one night waking up in a cold sweat a the thought of having to do a spin. The funny thing is that as time passes the more you are exposed the more you begin to settle down and actually enjoy it. I recall about the time I was going solo a young instructor I had encouraging me and claiming that after I got my PPL I'd be going for a night rating and IR. I laughed, you've got be kidding I said !! Anyway, years later he was right, I did, and it was years later that I thought, you know what, I fancy doing this as a living !!
I've waffled on a bit, but the point I'm trying to make is, I think it's quite normal to feel the way you do. Don't worry too much and try it a few more times. If you really really feel it's not for you then so be it, but it would be shame to pass it by if it's been a life long ambition !!
Good luck !!
CG (who regularly enjoys spinning !!)
