Fear of Screwing Up
Hi All,
I recently obtained my Recreational Pilots Certificate in Australia. I find though that I have an increasing fear, not of heights, not of dying but of screwing up.
I had a very close call on my second solo flight and another recent problem with joining the circuit on crosswind.
The first occurred on my second solo flight and landing on the same runway an aircraft that had cut in front of me on the circuit had landed on. The aircraft was about 20 knots slower than mine and I nearly ran up the back of it after landing. I only avoided it by veering off the grass strip. It came to my attention that I had never been taught go-arounds before my solo flight so this was probably a gap in my knowledge but I still felt really responsible and it scared the hell out of me.
The second was after I obtained my RPC, I joined crosswind at the end of the runway (standard procedure at this uncontrolled field) and couldn't see another aircraft that was turning crosswind further upwind than me after taking off. This led to a problem with spacing which I realised was my fault in hindsight. Also thinking back on it I had never really been taught a procedure or checklist for joining the circuit, we had always just joined the circuit and it the spacing had worked during my training. Again though, I still feel responsible, I am after all, Pilot in Command.
I love flying once I am up there but the buildup to flying I find a little exhausting, doubting my abilities, wondering if I am good enough or if "this will be it". I can only fly at the weekends because of my job and I have to be honest that sometimes when I wake up and it's raining, I actually feel relieved.
Was just wondering if I am the only person who feels inadequate as a pilot, in spite of passing their flight test and for any advice about getting out of the frame of mind that I am not good enough?
Thanks!