Afraid of clouds, IFR, IMC
Hello,
I am holding an IFR rating but I have limited time in actual IMC conditions.
I know that I am fully capable of shooting approaches and handling all the technical part of flying IFR. Of course I start slowly and increase the difficulty of a flight.
But.. there isnt the technical part of beeing able to fly the aircraft and shoot an approach that worries me.
I found out that I somehow is afraid of the clouds.
During VFR training you where always told to stay away from clouds and specially CB clouds they could kill you. Of course you should stay away from dangerous clouds. But all this have created some fear I guess.
When I fly with an instructor or examiner I feel perfectly relaxed in clouds because I trust the instructor. But when I am solo something happens inside me.
For example, I flew yesterday up to some CU clouds to get the feeling how they felt. Nothing bad happened and they where pretty calm.
But when I started to get close to them with my small PA28 they looked bigger and bigger visually on my windshield and by the time I entered them they looked so big and scary. Even though they where small compared to real big CUs.
My heart rate increased and I strived to feel relaxed.
I felt fear about the unknown. How would the turbulence be in the cloud? A lot of IFs. What if the cloud is evil and pushes me upside down throwing me to the ground?
What if I get out on the other side seeing a big scary CB cloud on the other side striking me with a lightning. What if something scary is inside the cloud.
I felt threatened by the cloud. Even though it was a very small towering CU cloud compared.
Anyone felt like this?
Suggestions?