At least it was just a No 1, could have been worse, far worse.
Early 80's at a certain not so secret RE base/engineering school somewhere near Chatham the students were entertained by attending a weekly Co's parade at stupid o'clock, No 2 Dress was naturally required.
One L/Cpl (not me I hasten to add, nor was I involved in the planting/laying of the items ) having been out on the lash the night before and getting in latish or was it earlyish… got up far too late and rushed to get ready... Got the kit on, looked well smart too all things considering and was a sure fire for complements from the inspecting officer.
It went downhill and just kept going when he quickly put his best boots on... Should have looked first, he really should have looked first... The feet went in to a sort of cold squishing sensation (his description later, but it may have been put more colourful at the time) and the smell..... So here he was, dressed to impress, just enough time to do the laces up and get out there and smelling like.... Well, I'm sure you can imagine.
An impression was certainly made. Wasn't the one he hoped for mind and the Provo Sgt had a certain knack of putting it over in a way that you couldn't fail to understand..... but then when a serial practical joker who had spent most of the course inflicting things various on the rest of the course fails to check his boots for a revenge No 2.......
Right, now I've managed to lower the tone in a true squaddie fashion I'm off for a brew and ten minutes on ARRSE....