OK, chaps, decision time. As usual, good quality entries, but sadly missing Danny's input [get better soon, Guv'nor].
Honorable mentions in 'de patches' to:
ShyTorque ... "According to these plans, the rest of the squadron buried theirs just here..."
Pontius Navigator ... "Oi, you three, KEEP OFF THE GRASS"
ivor toolbox ... "Did I just stand on a sniper ?
... but I award muddy custardy of the CST to the Baldrick-esque submission of:
Wensleydale"Why does the coffee in the mess always taste like this mud?"
"Don't know - the chef says it is fresh ground every morning!"