Flying from SIN to CHC on Air NZ B767. Sat next to Ludmilla, middle-aged Russian lady from St Peterburg flying to visit her daughter who was married to Mark, a NZer in Wanaka. Not a word of anything apart from Russian (Tried English/German/French. Not a flicker). Got all the pictures of the family, pictures of St Petersburg, stories about what she got up to at home (I think) and - this is the best bit - her travelling instructions from LED via SPL and SIN to CHC.
They were detailed to the level of "When you get to sign "X", turn left and look for sign "Y"" With pictures in some cases. For every step of the way. I'm not kidding.
Then the crew turned up with the immigration forms.
Asked them to do a PA asking for someone who spoke Russian which they did (No, not YOU, Ludmilla..) to no avail.
Got the passport stuff sorted, how long she was staying with pictograms of aircraft arriving and leaving on a calendar etc but the bio-security form was a challenge. Pictograms again and she's probably thinking "Why is he asking me if I've got a pig in my suitcase? No, I don't normally plant tomatoes - or are they apples...) in my knickers, FFS".
Solution was to front up to Ag and Fish (as it was back then) and say "This is Ludmilla from St Petersburg. She's visiting family in Wanaka, I don't THINK she's got any dodgy stuff in her suitcase, but you might want to check" Wanted to say goodbye at that point, but no, she didn't trust anyone else to open the suitcase. (No pigs in there, no apples or tomatoes either.)
Released her to a grateful family and I'm still nursing the broken rib from the hefty embrace she gave me....