Thanks all, I will stick at it!
Apart from the useful specific advice on handling, I think the message for me is that I need to demand more from the instructors (actually 2 different guys so far on 5 flights!). Interestingly, although they constantly whizz through checklists, there has been no mention of a physical list on paper, is that usual? My brain seems to absorb things better if I have some writing to refer to as well as the physical action. Anyway, I spent yesterday trawling the web and compiling my own for the key phases, I have also acquired a knee board (another item that has not been referred to by the instructors) and will turn-up with my own lists strapped to my knee and try to take a bit more ownership of the process. Including a debrief after shutting down. After all, I am giving them all of my money!