I'd like to add my tu'ppence-worth to this sad subject. I have been Nimrod (NCO) Aircrew since 1982, and have 4,500 hours on type. Back in the 80's and 90's if your crew was selected to be the "display" crew for that year, you just did it. The flight deck had a few weeks of instruction from the CFI (usually George Morris...) and the back end, min crew of four, just got on with it. There was no discussion of not wanting to, you just took your turn within the rest of the crew.
I did two seasons, separated by a couple of years. The first season for me ended in Fairford when my Captain almost killed us twice in the same display, due to the pressure to outperform other displays (yes, even in a Nimrod). Even now my blood runs cold thinking about looking out the beam window with low airspeed and the ground far too close, getting closer. It was the last display I flew, as I'd had enough. I refused point-blank to fly any more.
A couple of years later, again my crew was chosen for the job. My refusal to fly didn't go down well at all, and I was treated as a bit of a wimp, but I didn't care, it was a personal decision and I am still happy with it. The first display of the year was in Whidbey Island, Washington State, and they threatened not to take me along because of my "truculence". Eventually they relented, and I went along on the trip, but didn't fly any displays.
The Nimrod was taxiing out for its pre-display practice, when an A6 Intruder with two on board ploughed into the woods off the front starboard quarter, 400 yards away. The two pilots, starboard beam and Aeo all witnessed the accident. They turned around, taxied back and shut down. My decision not to fly was then re-evaluated by some on board.
And then we come to that awful, awful moment when the 120 crew were filmed killing themselves in Toronto's waterfront. Again, pilot (and, it transpired, corporate) error. Seven friends and acquaintances dead.
What we do as military aviators is intrinsically dangerous. I accept the risk, but only in the line of reasonable need. If I die somewhere in a storm at 20W trying to save a life, no one will be videoing the incident for my family to agonise over. Shot down over Iraq? All in the line of duty, no problem. My death would not have been pointless. Killed while entertaining a crowd, and the incident re-run the whole evening on the box? No thanks.
Am I against air displays? Well, no. But I am against the culture of every pilot trying to out-do every other, which is as sure as day follows night. Somewhere along the line there has to be a concerted effort to change this culture within the display world, at least when there are other crew members aboard who have no control over their lives during that five-minute period when they are on display, for I am sure many of them do not know the risks they take.