New 'Old' Recruits??
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Join Date: Apr 2006
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New 'Old' Recruits??
Just had this sent to me, a bit of a laugh in these dismal times. (apologies to the ladies)
New Directive for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!
You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... they will have it secured the first night!
New Directive for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!
You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... they will have it secured the first night!
Siegfried Sassoon had a cynical view of old men in the army - but as a 30 year old officer he probably considered 40 old. There's no doubt he would have liked to have seen a few of the older ones in the front line.
Base Details
"If I were fierce, and bald, and short of breath,
I'd live with scarlet majors at the base,
And speed glum heroes up the line to death.
You'd see me with my puffy petulant face,
Guzzling and gulping in the best hotel,
Reading the Roll of Honour. 'Poor young chap,'
I'd say, 'I used to know his father well;
Yes we've lost heavily in this last scrap.'
And when the war is done, and youth stone dead,
I'd toddle safely home and die - in bed."
Base Details
"If I were fierce, and bald, and short of breath,
I'd live with scarlet majors at the base,
And speed glum heroes up the line to death.
You'd see me with my puffy petulant face,
Guzzling and gulping in the best hotel,
Reading the Roll of Honour. 'Poor young chap,'
I'd say, 'I used to know his father well;
Yes we've lost heavily in this last scrap.'
And when the war is done, and youth stone dead,
I'd toddle safely home and die - in bed."
I'd go if I could bring a little sunshine to the stone age fanatics' day.
An air-delivered bucket of instant sunshine, that is....
Sorry, pr00ne, I know you'll consider that that would be a crime against humanity. But actually it'd just be comprehensive vermin control.
No-one who threatens, as the taleban have, to make Afghani voters 'eat their own fingers' deserves to be considered 'human'.
An air-delivered bucket of instant sunshine, that is....
Sorry, pr00ne, I know you'll consider that that would be a crime against humanity. But actually it'd just be comprehensive vermin control.
No-one who threatens, as the taleban have, to make Afghani voters 'eat their own fingers' deserves to be considered 'human'.
BEagle,
Drop it on Afghanistan, Pakistan or similar and it would just be murder, plain and simple. Guarantee that it only affects Al qaeda and the militant Taliban and it would be doing the whole of humanity a massive favour.
Drop it on Afghanistan, Pakistan or similar and it would just be murder, plain and simple. Guarantee that it only affects Al qaeda and the militant Taliban and it would be doing the whole of humanity a massive favour.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
It was either the threat to the leadership that we will incinerator your electorate, innocent or not, or the WW2 principle of collective guilt.
The only innocent ******** is a dead one. Fill in your own blanks.
The world has of course moved on since the 19th Century.
Cunning Artificer
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I was reading up on the Battle of the Atlantic and came across a transcript of a letter home, written by the Navigating Officer of HMCS St Laurent. He said that their captain was far too old to be in command of a warship at sea: he slept on the bridge and was always worn out and fatigued.
Their captain was an RCN Commander aged just 32 at the time; he was not only captain of St Laurent, but also commander of long range escort group C1, directly in command of six warships and over 800 officers and men. Not to mention responsibility for the safety of his convoys - usually around 80 ships and another 1500 merchant navy sailors.
The navigating officer in question was 22 years old. Stupid Boy!
Their captain was an RCN Commander aged just 32 at the time; he was not only captain of St Laurent, but also commander of long range escort group C1, directly in command of six warships and over 800 officers and men. Not to mention responsibility for the safety of his convoys - usually around 80 ships and another 1500 merchant navy sailors.
The navigating officer in question was 22 years old. Stupid Boy!
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Age and treachery beats youth and vigour every time.
