Stupid questions from non flyers.

[28thJuly2001]

What is the stupidest question about flying you have been asked by someone?
I was asked by someone in work if my plane had reverse gears, I looked for signs of sarcasm but the "friend" was quite serious. When I told him that reverse gears were not part of the mechanics of my little Tomahawk he then said "Well how do you get the plane out of the hanger after you drive it in"
Any other peaches like this one.

[Kamil]

lol!
Theres no such thing as a stupid question, only a stupid answer!

[crackerjack]

Wannabe,

You are quite right, however my mate (14000hrs) was sitting in the rhs of a 767-300 and was asked by a flight deck visitor "so, have you ever thought about training to be a pilot?"

I think that qualifies as a stoopid question.

[eyeinthesky]

Arriving (in uniform, unfortunately) to preflight aircraft at small airport north of London. Two people were staring intently and taking photographs of something in the sky behind me. As I approached, they stopped me and asked "What sort of plane it is which can go straight up like that?" I turned around to see a contrail in the blue sky coming straight overhead. These people seemed to think that Heathrow has the ability to launch the Space Shuttle as well!

[Superpilot]

You would be surprised by the number of people who after watching the movie "Airplane 2" actually thought that the autopilot on all aircraft is a blow up baloon figure gripping the controls <img src="eek.gif" border="0">

[Herod]

No, the balloon-like figure gripping the controls is the First Officer.

[Commander]

Well - in the case of the CPL student in my school that asked why the airplanes didn't have nailed tires as that would assist in grip on ice. The teacher explained that the airplane, however complicated otherwise, didn't have a "drive" on the wheels, the motion of the plane was dependant on the thrust of the engines.

Maybe some explaining is due: In the more snowy countries of the world (like mine) drivers can opt for nails in the tires for a better grip on ice. It is getting obsolete.

[380]

Make me laughing, all that questions, but just remember: not everyone is a pilot and flying is not everyone's "mission of life". So people in other professions will maybe also classify our questions as stupid.

[Long Range Cruise]

380, i do agree. But within our profession it is a humourous topic to read or hear about. <img src="smile.gif" border="0"> . .I had a kid visit me to KLAX asking if i was a pilot. I spent 15 min explaining to him that the 4 bars on the shoulder DO play a significant part in figuring that out, and that the people sitting at the front are the ones making things happen. He later agreed. lol...

[QNH1013]

I've had;. ."Are we going full throttle?"

[A Very Civil Pilot]

When i was a flying instructor, people used to ask if i was allowed to fly solo.

[GoneWest]

Had a student once ask about the endurance of a light aircraft - I replied "about four hours"...how far can you get??, he asked....about four hundred miles, I said...."ah", he replied, "but then you would run out of fuel - you cannot land if you run out of fuel, can you??"

[Ignition Override]

The masses seem to acquire their awareness of the universe only from the television or check-out stand garbage. Most of our (the typically ignorant among them) US newspaper writers/tv reporters assume that the left seat pilot (Captain) is the only pilot, because to them, pilot=Captain.

This flawed public impression is used by airline managements to distort public information during tense contract negotiations. The papers willingly report that all pilots earn XXX dollars, even though we all realize that these inflated figures apply only to the Captains, not the FOs or FEs.

We should always be glad when the local yokels ask ridiculous questions-they realize how much baloney they receive from the media "professionals". Our local newspaper had an aviation writer who is a pilot. What a rare combination.

[Evo7]

Them: What do you fly?

Me: <img src="redface.gif" border="0"> Um... a Piper Warrior <img src="redface.gif" border="0">

Them: Oooh! Is it a fighter plane?

<img src="rolleyes.gif" border="0"> :)

[Bullethead]

Being in a technical field and associating with technical types who have a general understanding of "how things work" I was totally stunned one night when in the cockpit of a B747 Classic while chatting with a visitor who claimed to be an electronics engineer when he asked me the following question.

"Tell me, how many cylinders has the engine got that drives the fan? "

I thought it was a wind up, but the guy was dead serious.

So out with ops manual and on with Basic Gas Turbines 001. He was quite amazed about all this new fangled technology.. . <img src="wink.gif" border="0"> :) <img src="tongue.gif" border="0">

[Icarus Wings]

I was once asked by a small child as he climbed in and grabbed hold of the control column "does mine do the back and yours do the front?"

[DVR6K]

Was playing in a 747 classic sim a few years back and it was time for another guy´s go. Unfortunately, he couldn´t fathom out that the control columns were interconnected despite all the explaining done by a very experienced training captain. I nearly wept openly as he asked "Yeah, but what if one guy steers one way and the other guy steers the other?".

Dear oh dear.

[under_exposed]

Sorry to divert the thread for a moment but:

"OK, can you copy the disk and send it in to me."

five minutes later

" I have copied the disk but would it not be quicker if I faxed it rather than photocoying it and posing it ?"

And that is a true situation that happened to me.

But who am I to comment. Having written a new chunk of code that needed to reviewed by about 4 fellow programmers I took the original printout to the photocopier. I was about to hit the go button for 4 copies when I thought "hold on - I will hole punch it first to save having to hole punch the 4 copies".

Well who can realy say they have never done anything stupid.

[HelenD]

Soddit I can answer that one its because the CAA make it so difficult for people with disabilities to get a licence. I do believe however that jobs should be awarded on merit not on a quota system.

[brockenspectre]

I mentioned this as a start of a new thread on JetBlast as a "funny childhood" misunderstanding about aviation but I will 'fess up here!

As a child I heard folks speak of "blue ice from aircraft" and always (well until I was older) thought of it as some magical very special high altitude ice with amazing blue colours (at that age, everything to do with aircraft was magical to me...most still is!!) ...imagine my sorrow when I found out the base reality!!

:)

[chrishowley]

On the subject of the public not realising that FO's are 'real pilots' I have expereinced a number of BMI flights where the captain has helpfully announced that the FO is flying the sector. This is useful in helping people understand the role. - although I am sure someone will then believe that an 'unqualified pilot' is flying the plane.

[PAXboy]

They do indeed! When my nephew was a FO, hwe was always irritated by the second question - So when are you going to be allowed to fly the plane?

His carrier adopted terh phrase co-pilot when making cabin P/A so that the pax would not be concerned on hearing, "The Co-Pilot will be flying you to xxx."

[radeng]

And there was me being led to believe that the F/O was there merely to buy the Captain's beer!

[Pandora]

Waterside office worker to BA captain (in uniform) - "So what job do you do for the airline?

Captain's son to captain during a flight deck visit - "Daddy, with your appalling memory, how do you remember what all these buttons do?"

[flyblue]

" hey Miss, did the pilot say: -50°C outside temperature???" . ."Yes Sir, he did". ."-50° OF COLD???". ."Yes sir, -50°C". ."Gosh, but shouldn't we be all dead then???". . <img src="rolleyes.gif" border="0">

[flyblue]

I got another one!

"Excuse me Miss, may I speak to the Captain?". ."What is it about Sir?". ."He just said the altitude is 35000FT. Well, it is a b***y lie! I am a parachutist, I have an altimeter and it says 2400 FT!!!". .&lt;Flyblue rolls around in hysterics&gt;

[newswatcher]

With reference to Soddit's posting, under the current system, would Douglas Bader not be able to qualify as a pilot?

[expedite_climb]

On a similar note - a pax once complained to the purser that the flightmaster (TV screen map) said the a/c was cruising 530 mph, and I had just done a PA saying we were doing 540 mph.

And another one - as i walked thru security the pax behind me asked if i was YTS ....

[Doors to Automatic]

When I was a teenager I went on holiday to Tenerife with my folks and grandparents. My grandmother wanted to go to the top of the 13000 ft Mount Teide. (There is a cable car!)

We advised her that given the fact she has had heart bypass surgery the high altitude may be detrimental to her health. Her reply was "Don't worry, it will be OK. After all I have flown over here in a plane which went a lot higher!"

[GJB]

Not a stupid question, BUT:

Whilst taxing out in the club C152, with a non-pilot pax (and 1st time in a light aircraft) I passed him that faithful combi screwdriver / fuel strainer tool.

I pointed to the hex shape nut under the wing which houses the fuel strain valve, and said:

"Open the window and lean out with your arm. Can you see that nut up there? Yes, good - give it a a tighten up, the wing looks a bit loose."

For a split second, they went for the window, before pleading (hysterically) me to take them back to the clubhouse!

After some (LOADS) of reassurance, we continued outbound.

[ 31 January 2002: Message edited by: GJB ]</p>