What are our Instructors really doing?

[DeeCee]

I have always wondered what Instructors are actually doing when they say 'Go out and check the aeroplane, I'll be out in five minutes'. I have never received a satisfactory answer. First of all, it's never five minutes, more like ten and I've never seen any of them doing paperwork during the day, so it can't be that.

Perhaps they have to perform some kind of private fertility dance? Maybe some kind of bizzarre weight and balance ritual?

What do you all think?

The more humerous replies might receive a prize (probably not, but it doesn't hurt to ask).

[raviolis]

I have always wondered what Instructors are actually doing when they say 'Go out and check the aeroplane, I'll be out in five minutes'. I have never received a satisfactory answer. First of all, it's never five minutes, more like ten and I've never seen any of them doing paperwork during the day, so it can't be that.


Cup of tea ?
Coffee ?
Wee ?
Fag ? (Cigarette, for US citizens)
Text girlfriend ?
Phone a friend ?
50:50 ?
Ask the audience ?

[Lister Noble]

Praying!

Lister:D

[Kaptain Kremen]

It takes me up to 10 minutes (depending on the student) to pluck up courage.
I also need a couple of mins to warm up the throat for screaming (er...gentle vocal encouragement...) "pull back!"
KK

[robin]

Nervous wee...............!!

[unfazed]

Toilet,

Glug of water,

Answer a series of random detailed technical "how do I", "where is?" "can you help me with ?" questions from students and total strangers

Quick circuit or 2 with solo student who is bricking it on solo consolidation

Help someone else figure out how to start up or switch on radio

Tons of ridiculous paperwork and signatures in order to legalise the flight

quick banana to prevent collapsing

Oh goodness me is that the time now where is Bloggs? Oh Sh£$% he/she is in the aircraft waiting ! Classic is saying "start the engine and I will join you when I see it spinning," only to get into some fun hangar chat with a lovely potential female student and bloggs has already clocked up 20 minutes and hasn't actually left the chocks !:ooh:

[maxdrypower]

for some reason best known to someone else my instructor always had this 19 yr old minxette scheduled to fly after me and she was always early so as I walked out to the steely craft he was flirting with the frippet like a man posessed , cant say i blame him she had far better legs in that Raf issue (probaly) short pleated skirt

[potkettleblack]

I have had 5 instructors so far doing my PPL, IMC and various rental checkouts. Apart from the first one that showed me a basic walk round during my PPL there has only been 1 other who actually took the time to check over the aircraft properly with me. I learnt more from him in that 10 minutes than the others put together. He quizzed me on what this does and how to check that this bit works properly, and if it looks like this then it won't work etc.

All of the others clearly had urgent business to attend to whilst I was out in the p*ssing rain or getting the Cessna tattoo on my forehead!

[DeeCee]

Oh goodness me is that the time now where is Bloggs? Oh Sh£$% he/she is in the aircraft waiting ! Classic is saying "start the engine and I will join you when I see it spinning," only to get into some fun hangar chat with a lovely potential female student and bloggs has already clocked up 20 minutes and hasn't actually left the chocks !:ooh:[/QUOTE]

Yes, that happened to me at Stapleford a few years ago. I sat there with the engine running until ATC asked me if I 'was ok?'. That was Jack - sadly no longer with us. He was great on the radio, gently correcting mistakes (unlike someone who I won't mention who had a lot less patience!).

[potkettleblack]

When I started learning to fly I naively thought that in those 10 minutes the instructors were sneakily eye balling me from behind a curtain in the club to make sure I looked like I knew what I was doing. Now that I am bit older and wiser I realise they didn't give jack sh*t and were far to busy doing much more important things:)

[dublinpilot]

Probably hitting on your beautiful girlfiend that you've left waiting in the club house.

[helicopter-redeye]

On my CPL course, having rec'd the mandatory "go and start up and I'll join you when you've started up etc etc" and having waited 20 minutes on the ground, I called Information with a 'lift and air taxi to remind the CFI' call.

Parking outside of his window I could see the conversation continuing inside, so I turned on the landing lights to attract attention.:ugh:

Then a hand came up from inside and closed the window and blinds as the light and noise was disturbing the conversation ... :D

Finally, I shut down, went inside and said I was ready.

At which "go and start up and I'll etc etc"....

Rinse and Repeat.

h-r;)

[Tubbs]

During PPL training, I found that backfiring the engine would remind the instructor that I was ready. Since becoming an instructor, I now use the time to sit and weep quietly in the toilets for five minutes.

[Computer says NO!]

Its normally enough time for a quick pint to get some dutch courage.:}

[Cricket23]

I think that some of them use the time to look at your file to work out what they will teach you this time.

C23

[hingey]

When John sends Joe out to check the a/c and start up, he and his collegue look out the window and make bets.

"£5 says he'll come back in for the fuel strainer."

"It'll take him 3 attempts to get it running."

"5 minutes until he realises he's forgotten the keys"

h

[foxmoth]

Anyone who has instructed at a busy school knows that these are the only breaks you get on a busy day, plus as someone else said it is good for student confidence, Potkettleblack makes a good point though and I would always try to do the walkround with someone I had not flown with already so I was happy with what they know.;)

[Computer says NO!]

When John sends Joe out to check the a/c and start up, he and his collegue look out the window and make bets.

"£5 says he'll come back in for the fuel strainer."

"It'll take him 3 attempts to get it running."

"5 minutes until he realises he's forgotten the keys"

h


Or the flipping headset!! uurgghhh.:ugh: :rolleyes:

[combineharvester]

From the other side of the debate, what can be frustrating (in particular on a busy day) is the student who insists on conducting a Star Annual as a pre-flight. Once bloggs has put his spanners away its nearly time for the next lesson! A chance to enjoy a 3 course meal perhaps, or even have another cigarette.

In all seriousness though i prefer it that way round than the pre flight consisting of just checking the door opens and the seat supports your weight before we start.

As Duir says, it gradually gives the student more of the aeroplane more of the time.

[theresalwaysone]

From the other side of the debate, what can be frustrating (in particular on a busy day) is the student who insists on conducting a Star Annual as a pre-flight. Once bloggs has put his spanners away its nearly time for the next lesson! A chance to enjoy a 3 course meal perhaps, or even have another cigarette.

In all seriousness though i prefer it that way round than the pre flight consisting of just checking the door opens and the seat supports your weight before we start.

As Duir says, it gradually gives the student more of the aeroplane more of the time.

Why let him do a star annual--your the instructor. students should know the difference and be taught the difference between a first flight of the day check which should be done or supervised by a qualified person--not a student and a brief walk around that is done after each subsequent flight.

Instructors need a break between flights so dont expect them to drop one student off and pick up another immeadiately, some even brief bewteen flights return phone calls and write records, some on the other hand are de-motivated lazy barstewards--- delete as appilcable. As in any service industry if you are not getting the service you expect complain, if that dosnt work, go eleswhere-- you should of course really be asking your instructor the thread question.

[combineharvester]

I think you misinterperet the light hearted nature of the reply! The particular student in question is a very festidious fellow and applies the same thorough attitude to all of his flying training including the groundschool, I anticipate he will finish his licence in close to minimum hours. The more serious "instructor hat on" part of my reply refers to the confidence building aspect of allowing the student more experience of the aeroplane without the instructor on board. I remember during my basic training being told to check the aeroplane out and start it made me feel empowered and trusted by the instructor. In my short time in the industry I have not met a lazy instructor yet, I refer you to the "Search for the UK's Poorest Paid FI" thread in the instructor forum! We need to work for us livin'!

[Dude~]

I sometimes have a quiet chuckle to myself when a student comes back in saying they cannot open the aircraft doors becuase they are locked - we never lock the doors - they just forget there are 2 latches!:\

[effortless]

Well they may be reading your file to see what you are supposed to be doing. :rolleyes:

[metar]

Love the post... I work in a busy school and Foxmoth seems closest in my opinion. It's normally a blissful five / ten minutes of drinking coffee, weeing, reading files, enjoying a break, writing up records, filling in tech logs, quizzing operations, diving into Trevor Thoms to answer previously asked impossible questions and also trying to remove grease / oil / avgas from some obvious part of me.

Also wouldn't dream of doing it with a student who I have never seen check out an aircraft before... and done it thoroughly.

New gag of the summer is turn off the generator in flight (say that you think you can see an easyjet bus behind you so they turn away) and see how long the student takes to notice the GEN failure light even after requesting a FREDAL check. Then ask them what to do and watch the carnage - I reckon 3 out of 5 think it will stop the engine eventually! Sorry - ranting again.

[BEagle]

Yes - nothing like a good healthy voltage spike in flight through the avionics when you turn the generator back on again......:ugh:

That 5 minutes is the student's first bit of captaincy practice!

But I always check the filler caps and cowling latches visually when I join him/her at the aeroplane.

[Final 3 Greens]

I reckon 3 out of 5 think it will stop the engine eventually!

Sounds like either (a) poor instructing because they hadn't been taught the subject they were asked about or (b) ineffective instructing techniques because they didn't recall the information

Maybe a visit to the bookshop and a purchase of something like "Writing Training Materials That Work" by Foshay, Silber and Stelnicki would be appropriate.

Professional application of the cognitive learning will quickly pay dividends for the instructor and the student.

[wombat13]

Ten minutes of wondering when their purgatory of teaching turds is going to end.........:hmm:

[S-Works]

Ten minutes of wondering when their purgatory of teaching turds is going to end.........:hmm:

It ends very easily, quit and go back to flipping burgers like every other wannabee ATPL......... :p

[Mad Girl]

bose-x

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[DeeCee]

Speaking as the one who started this, I have to say that it doesn't take long before it gets a bit serious does it? Ok, here's another one to lighten you all up a bit;

Instead of a spot landing competition, how about a 'who can land fastest competition'?

Your suggestions are welcome.......

[metar]

Good idea... will try that with students tomorrow and let you know how it goes...

[Say again s l o w l y]

I'm glad I'm not in tomorrow then!

My usual 5-10 mins is spent most often answering questions that could easily be found in LASORS......

Either that or just trying to throw a cup of coffee or sandwich down my throat.

Oh and obviously praying.........!

[PAPI-74]

Is that the same game as who can get the most spectacular blow out?

[BEagle]

"My usual 5-10 mins is spent most often answering questions that could easily be found in LASORS......"

How true!

And yet I still hear Examiners advising people to "Check with the CAA"....

Examiners are required to have a sufficiently good working knowledge of LASORS to avoid the need for people to pester the CAA with trivia.

[Shaggy Sheep Driver]

This takes me back to the late '70s when I was doing my PPL. There was one instructor who would take ages to come out to the aeroplane. I'd be sitting there for what seemd a lifetime after pre-flighting it. So one day I drew a little cartoon and gave it to him when he finally appeared.

It was of a C150 cockpit with the door open, a skeleton hunched over the controls, spider's webs in the corners of the doorframe...

It didn't make him appear any quicker for future lessons, but it made me feel a bit better. :}