Name the JSF

[LowObservable]

url]http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/14599468.htm[/url]

Let the games begin...

"Fury" is not too bad, since four out of five of the UK-US operators already flew a Fury - granted, they were three completely different aircraft...

I'd say Crusader is definitely out :E

But then, what about a famous fighter...

... its name known to millions of people, its best-known pilot a cultural icon...

that was used by the predecessors of the RAF, the FAA and the USAF...

http://blogdayafternoon.com/images/stories/1205/sopwith_camel.jpg

http://www.earlyaviator.com/archive/images3/Snoopy.gif[

[South Bound]

I think 'Steve' or 'Gary' would work.

[rafloo]

Well, it cant be a Pheonix or Lynx as we already have those....


How about Colin ?

[airborne_artist]

I think Robin, because it's clear by the cost of the thing that the mfr has been doing very well out if it.

[WhiteOvies]

We've had Kestrel all ready too.
There's a missile called Shrike so I think thats out.
Whilst chatting my boss has suggested Dave.:p

[Jackonicko]

With its looks and usefulness, Seamew, Firecrest, or Baffin.

Or Buffalo for the Yanks and Cow for us.

Or Benny.

[Just This Once...]

Genius. Pure genius.

Dave

Colin

Steve

Gary

I'm finding it hard to choose.

[Pontius Navigator]

Javelin:) .

[Daede1]

Murkin.

Or perhaps the Gimp.

[WhiteOvies]

Jackonicko - Seacow for the RN? (Cashcow for BAe etc...)

Before BEagle suggests it - Vulcan?
Before WEBF suggests it - Buccaneer?

Am warming to the F-35 Dave.

[Gainesy]

Kevin and/or Sea Kevin.

[Capt Pit Bull]

Dave, I can't let you do that.

How about Hal.

[Daede1]

The Rodney

[Gainesy]

That'd go down like a lead balloon.

[WhiteOvies]

Capt P-B
Something with that many computers named Hal? Would you fly it?:\

[6Z3]

Rooney, it's got to be Rooney, or perhaps Theo.






Joint Strike F...... geddit?

[ZH875]

Late

Overbudget

Folly

Sh1tehawk

costalot

bangbus

[batfink2]

Brian? Or maybe Derek?

[Zoom]

Phantom III
Thunderbolt III
Lightning III
Pug Ugly XXXVII (following a long line of ugly aircraft throughout aviation history)

[snafu]

Sea Noff? :E

[rudekid]

Dawn French?

As in White Elephant.

[PPRuNe Pop]

I quite like Mosquito - it can do all it could do and a whole lot more.

Hurricane would also be good then you would Typhoon and Hurricane. That'll put the wind up someone!

[Jackonicko]

More a Blenheim or an RE8 than a Mossie.

[L1A2 discharged]

Mosquito? to compare: one was made of wood, renewable resource, good at what it was designed for, built to time and budget. The latest iteration: ?? I think not.

Hows about:

Folly

W Gates esq (Big Bill)

[4Foxtrot]

Meteor. Like the missile - falls to earth in a useless shower of sparks.

[ORAC]

You can't name US aircraft, they've tried. F-15 Eagle, F-16 Falcon, F-18 Hornet, who the h*ll uses them. Even if they name them, who uses them?

The B-1 and B-2 are the Lancer and the Spirit - but they're really the Bone and the Beak. 9(ets not talk about the Aardvark...)

Let it go, it will acquire a name......

[TheInquisitor]

How about "F-35 Fireblade"?
or "F-35 Ninja"?

Bikes have cool names....why not aircraft?

I quite like "F-35 Sh1tehawk" - the spams won't spot the irony...

[Just This Once...]

You can't name US aircraft, they've tried. F-15 Eagle, F-16 Falcon, F-18 Hornet, who the h*ll uses them. Even if they name them, who uses them?
The B-1 and B-2 are the Lancer and the Spirit - but they're really the Bone and the Beak. 9(ets not talk about the Aardvark...)
Let it go, it will acquire a name......

I suppose the Yanks make the mistake of letting the wrong people name their ac. Some names do work, they still use the term Eagle-driver and at least 'the bug' or 'plastic bug' gives a nod to the name Hornet. The Falcon was lame from the start. Even in development the F16 aquired 'Viper', which seemed to suit it more. Perhaps they are even learning. Didn't they re-name the F111 the Aardvark on its last day of US service? Then again, don't the Aussies call it the Pig??

I also like the fact that the Russians re-named the Frogfoot after its NATO callsign.

I still think the F35 'Dave' would say so much, on so many levels.

[TheInquisitor]

"Viper" gets my vote - 'cos it's the name of a cool spaceship :ok:

Or, in tenuous deference to 'Star Wars', the "Why-Fighter" - as in "why are we spending so much money on this....?" :E

[L J R]

Call the US models 'Jed', the Brit Models 'Nigel' and the Aussies 'The Roo'.


If the navy paint 'Fly Navy' on them, call em 'Squid Lips'

Must call the family version '??????'....actually cant think of something witty



....or we could settle on 'Dave' with 'Colin' being a close second.

[jindabyne]

Hunter --- or is that blasphemy? Or Sea Maiden, to appease the fishheads --

[KPax]

How about 'PRESCOTT' hugely expensive but not sure what it does.

[Zoom]

Good, KPax. Appropriate name for an ugly, overweight, overpriced penetrator.

[Rakshasa]

F-35 Colin?

No no, no. It's got to be called Danish! It works on so many levels. :}

[Expensive Baggage]

Good, KPax. Appropriate name for an ugly, overweight, overpriced penetrator.

With all due respect to KPax, if you added the word 'bleeding' to ugly, overweight, overpriced penetrator, you could call it a Tampax! :eek:

[brickhistory]

I quite like Mosquito - it can do all it could do and a whole lot more.
Hurricane would also be good then you would Typhoon and Hurricane. That'll put the wind up someone!


I had always wondered why ALL the partners agreed to 'Typhoon' for the Eurofighter. I assumed that memories of Falaise Gap, etc. might have turned some of the buyers off.

"Sh1tehawk?" Yeah, we get it. Not terribly amusing, but we get it.....

The 'Vark was indeed officially named the Aardvark on its retirement day in US service. 'Pig' is also well-chosen IMHO.

How about 'Borg' for the F-35. If it comes off, then you will have been assimilated?

[peterperfect]

How about the Cure, and for the Navy, the SeaCure ?

or the Naplesandye, or.... you guessed it.....the Sea Naplesandye ?

These suggestions copied with (hopefully) permission of Trevor Lockwood (I think) when he ran an informal competition to name the EHI 01 back in the
80's.
pp

[ARINC]

Victor.... as in, "I don't believe it"

Fools and Horses...

Del
Rodders
Trigger
Boycey

and my personal favourite the F35 "Marlene" Not to be confused with that other TV great, "Martel"

[kluge]

F-35 Mullet - sort of says it all really

[airborne_artist]

Prescott - overweight, very expensive, makes a lot of noise as it goes up and down, small weapon-fit

[WE Branch Fanatic]

Long Sword?
Saber/Sabre?

[ORAC]

How about the most famous American bird - the Turkey.... :}

[Chronic Snoozer]

'......Bob?....'

[adr]

'......Bob?....'
'Alice?'
adr

[The Helpful Stacker]

Battle (after the Fairley one).

They were chronically under-powered bomb trucks too.

[ZH875]

I would call it 'Cuckoo'

It can lay its 'eggs' in other peoples countries.

We would be cuckoo to buy it

And if you think it will ever work properly, you are in cloud cuckoo land.

[maxburner]

Turkey gets my vote. Sea Turkey for the fish Heads.

[Melchett01]

Given the ever increasing problem with budgets and technical issues that seem to be stopping this project getting off the ground, I vote for the 'Emu':ok:

[Jackonicko]

Or Dodo, perhaps?

[Trout99uk]

How about the " DOME "?

[Data-Lynx]

The name has to be suitable for fighter pilots so how about the 'Lark'?

Just like its feathered relative, it makes a noise totally out of proportion to its size; when it is in the overhead, you'll know it is there but you cannot see it. It gets airborne when it likes and spends the whole time aloft yelling at the top of its voice: 'me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me'.

[ORAC]

Humour aside, in homage to the Phantom, in recognition of its stealth and in allusion to its big brother the B2 Spirit, may I suggest..... the "Spectre".

(Which would probably lead to it being called Casper.....the friendly ghost :\ )

[dangermouse]

it's associated with the sea

it's a bird

and it accurately reflects what will be happening to all the non US personnel involved (ie getting f....d over)

I suggest the


SHAG

[althenick]

Wild cat for the yanks Martlet for the Brits?????

[ZH875]

Penguin......



All flap and no fly

[batfink2]

F-35 "Martmite" - you either love it, or you hate it

[Jackonicko]

F-35 Sodomite. Only a pervert would love it......

[Pureteenlard]

Bet you a quid it wil never need an RN / RAF name anyway . . .

[Pontius Navigator]

Vindicator - have we had one of those? Certainly had Vultee, Vulture and Vengance, Vixen
-


Jackonicko - Seacow for the RN? (Cashcow for BAe etc...)

Before BEagle suggests it - Vulcan?
Before WEBF suggests it - Buccaneer?

Am warming to the F-35 Dave.

[Pontius Navigator]

Battle (after the Fairley one).
They were chronically under-powered bomb trucks too.

And had internal weapons bays with just one engine.

Or the Hoon long lasting, sneer at everything, teflon coated

[BombayDuck]

Doffing my hat to the legendary Spike Milligan...

...how 'bout 'Fred' ?

or 'Gladys'

F-35 Fred just sounds right....

[DeaconBlue]

I do find these constant jibes about cost amusing given the UKs high value investment in the Ty-phoo - we are hardly in a position to criticise on price and timescale, let alone weapon fit!! :rolleyes:

Being positive (and I am tempted by the Kevin, tho perhaps shortened to "Kev" for the average Sun reader) - I think "Vector" should do it nicely, it will certainly be unused when that consortium fail to win MFTS :p :p :ok:

[sirsaltyhelmet]

Brian? Or maybe Derek?

I'm Brian.....

[diginagain]

I'm Brian, and so is my wife.

(Well someone had to do it.)

[Widger]

For the RN varient, bearing in mind that the ship will be assembled in Rosyth, near our Chancellor's constituency and the aircraft based in Lossie.....The Sea-Ugimy.

[sirsaltyhelmet]

Well I left it open, didnt want to hog the punch line!

As he loves the aircraft so much, how about "BEagle"??

[NURSE]

how about Hilary?

when she gets elected next time its probably the only way the programme will be saved or us getting them

[mutleyfour]

JOATMON, simply meaning:

Jack of all trades, master of none, which it surely will be by the time it arrives.

Or maybe it could be called "Pepperami" as its a bit of an animal. That could of course bring with it a large sponsorship package which in turn would help pay for a nav bag or two.

[Tourist]

All this crab whingeing about JSF just reminds me of all the crab whingeing about how useless the green Merlin was going to be, how it wouldn't do the job, was to small, too big, too fast too slow etc etc.

Now you love it.

So shut up until it proves itself one way or the other.
You are all just scared of the inevitable subsumation of the RAF into the Army and RN, once it becomes obvious that JSF on carriers does away with the need for Tornado, Typhoon, Jag, Harrier

[brickhistory]

how about Hilary?
when she gets elected next time its probably the only way the programme will be saved or us getting them

Unless you've one of your own, ours is Hillary, not Hilary. Her election will never happen. We are too tired of both Clintons and Bushes for now. So Jeb will also have to wait a bit.

You'll get the aircraft, just for how much and with what strings attached?

How about 'Camel?' It was a famous a/c, the namesake does live in the environment where the JSF is most likely to employ for the forseeable future...

[Dave5705]

"Leaslie?"

[pmills575]

Pug? Ugly and NFU

[Rather be Gardening]

Let's hear it for the Doris:

Delayed
Over-budget
Reverse-engineered
Inefficient
Surplus-to-requirement

[engineer(retard)]

Touristbait?

[Op Tastic]

How about http://www.westonsinternet.co.uk/images/tix9r.jpg ?

Should readily available to suppress the coughing when the Minister asks the question, "So, what is it for?"

[rafloo]

Good post op tastic... think the minister would also need it when he is told how much one of them cost

[PapaJoe]

Just seen this in the paper, so place you bids.

In line with Government policy of trying to please everyone and actually pleasing no one and in an attempt to recoup some of the budget overspend, the Treasury and MOD have decided that each airframe will be given an individual name. Much in the same way as you can buy seats in the House of Lords, individuals or corporations will “sponsor” and airframe. So one day you could be flying the ‘F35 TESCO’ and the next the ‘F35 TONY’S MY BEST MATE’. The F35 ‘YOUR NAME HERE’ will of course be a hit at all the air shows around the country (static display only).:)

[LowObservable]

Actually, it's not a bad idea.
Think how much mileage that the Navy has extracted from its ability to name warships after otherwise totally obscure sister-marrying Southern politicians who managed to superglue their rear ends into the right committees and voted the Navy line all their lives....
"Carl Vinson had never seen a battleship until he achieved prominence in the Congress... Only once in his entire lifetime did he set foot outside the United States, and that was when he went on an inspection trip of the Panama Canal Zone in the early 1920's... By his colleagues in the House he was known as the "Swamp Fox" [and no doubt a few other things too - Ed.]because of his masterful grasp of parliamentary procedure and virtual unerring strategy in getting important legislation through Congress."
... and that's from a site being NICE about the guy.

[dolphinops]

Quote:"Call the US models 'Jed', the Brit Models 'Nigel' and the Aussies 'The Roo'."

Shouldn't that be Bruce??
or.... the F-35 Sheila :ok:

[ShyTorque]

Bikes have cool names....why not aircraft?
I quite like "F-35 Sh1tehawk" - the spams won't spot the irony...

:= Oi, settle down, now!

Why not just call it "The Bastard" ? :E

[Flt Lt Spry]

How about the U.N.T. in RAF service?

And for the Navy, the Sea U.N.T....?

[ZH875]

For the RAF 'Dumbo' and for the Navy 'Nellie'





both are White Elephant's

[Skunkerama]

Well we have the Typhoon so how about Tempest?

I would have suggested hurricane but the next aircraft that takes on that name had better be bloody special.

[Clockwork Mouse]

As it does nothing except move mud, how about "Shovel?"

[Duncano]

How about 'Camel?' It was a famous a/c, the namesake does live in the environment where the JSF is most likely to employ for the forseeable future...
What on the ground in the RAF Museum at Hendon.:rolleyes:

[rich_hodgetts]

Keith?

Shane?

[Almost_done]

Or as according to Flight,

Unsigned ?

[Shadwell the old]

It must be the Prescott (as suggested earlier)

Why?

1. It costs far more than it is worth.
2. Nobody wants it in their backyard (hence the reason it is going to Lossie).
3. It does the work of 2 Jags.
4. It's ugly.
5. It's overweight.
6. It's very noisy to little efect.

Simple

Shadwell

[GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU]

Why bother with a name? The Air Force never saw their way clear to giving the VC10 a name and it's probably a bit late now. Anyway, if we did call it the Dave, the Media and the MoD PR rags would forever call it the JSF F-35 Dave!

Off thread but this has put me on one of my pet hobbyhorses now. With American aircraft, why do they persist on using the US Service Type designator AND the name? (eg C-130 Hercules, F-18 Hornet etc). A C-130 is a Hercules! why drag it out?

[Confucius]

Why not name it 'Superego'?

[GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU]

Just a thought: why not the F-35 Avtur? That's no good though because it will confuse the Air Force when they fly them from carriers.

I know, lets enter into the modern spirit of operational safety and make the name a simple fuelling reminder. The Land A/C could be the Avtur and the Naval one the Avcat. No! that's no good either ; Avcat would have to wait until they build the F-44.

Disregard all previous.

:rolleyes:

[KPax]

How about 'MENSTRUAL' as I suspect this will bleed the RAF for years.

[Swifty_N]

Shane lol...R.I.P

[The Helpful Stacker]

Just a thought: why not the F-35 Avtur? That's no good though because it will confuse the Air Force when they fly them from carriers.

I know, lets enter into the modern spirit of operational safety and make the name a simple fuelling reminder. The Land A/C could be the Avtur and the Naval one the Avcat. No! that's no good either ; Avcat would have to wait until they build the F-44.

Disregard all previous.

:rolleyes:

The RAF doesn't use F35 Avtur, it uses F34 Avtur FSII. F35, nasty stuff, no lubricity agent, microbiological growth inhibitor or most importantly fuel system icing inhibitor.

THS - DFG West Moors veteran and all round fuels-bore.:(

[GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU]

The RAF doesn't use F35 Avtur, it uses F34 Avtur FSII. F35, nasty stuff, no lubricity agent, microbiological growth inhibitor or most importantly fuel system icing inhibitor.

THS - DFG West Moors veteran and all round fuels-bore.:(

THS; you are exactly right, of course. It was a compromise of accuracy for humour. Hmmm; 'suppose it would have been nice to hack one of them, though.

GBZ

[Green Flash]

The Y-35. That's what everyone is saying!