A goodly length of plastic tubing (usually from a pet shop, used in aquaria), some small cable ties, drawing pins and bodge tape along with some of the biggest syringes the Med Centre will trust you with (normally 50 or 60ml).
If you're a long way from your target (and it's useful to be on the same leg of the table) you may well need to prime the tubing and make sure the syringes are full before the meal.
There's nothing quite like watching someone squirm in wet mess kit for 3 courses, but your aim has to be good. I've had people looking for leaks in the ceiling before...just be careful of blowback if they're on the ball!
The syringes also come in handy if Mr Vice is crap. Terrible waste of port, though.
