EVA work ethic
 

EVA work ethic
New Eva Air Office Employee Rules and Regulations



It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.

Sick Days : We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days: Each employee, except pilots, will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

Toilet Use: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy!

Lunch Break: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and in put should be directed elsewhere.

Kennedy
for The Management

ummm....
...and your point is what?

it is pretty funny though.

That was my Pprune impression of working in Singapore.

Is it even worse, or is it just a welcoming, benign police state:suspect: ?

hahaha
Could have been written by our D.O.
Only he would be serious about it!:}

a diamond of an article
well done ex eva :ok:

Mondriver,
you need to get out more.

They say satire and irony are lost on the moronic...

Rananim

Sorry...my sides have only just stopped splitting from the original hilarious post.

...so glad you enjoyed it.

...me get out more?

ROFL

How do we get in?