a330pilotcanada

Good Morning All:

In the unlikely event this was not posted before please enjoy the following as I had tears in my eyes from laughing...

Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of visible spectral manifestation know as "smoke".
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.
Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
And remember: “A gentleman does not motor about after dark.”
Joseph Lucas “The Prince of Darkness”
1842-1903

A few Lucas quips:
The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three
switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
If Lucas made guns, guns would not fire.
Back in the ‘70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.
This has been referred to as the smoke theory when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done for.
One more for you:
Why did the British never become a big factor in computer development?
Because they couldn't figure out a way to make a computer leak oil.

Smilin_Ed

Someone has been hiding Lucas' involvement in the 787.

RR_NDB

Hi,

A330pilotcanada,

You and Ed should remember smoke (not fire) "made the day" for Boeing in TAK.

The circuit opened in TWO POINTS confirming your theory:

1) In ground wire

2) Inside the "masterpiece" battery Boeing selected for the Dream.

The smoke was seen even by ATC. No fire, just smoke.

OTOH in BOS the smoke was generated mostly by firefighters. To the circuit, much better is the "internal smoke". Firefighters generates a variant of smoke not "pure". A kind of (artificial smoke)

I will comment more deep after revisiting the smokes i saw. Anyway, i will remember your theory and try to confirm it ASAP.

FAR CU

THE GOONSHOW SCRIPTS - (part the hair) -


Eidleburger:
Lord Seagoon? I must inform you zat zis Zeppelin is highly inflame-able. Therefore, Rauchen ist Verboten! Nicht Rauchen! Defence de Fumé! Nicht Fumé! Nicht Rauchen! RAUCHEN VERBOTEN!!!

Ned:
Cigarette?

Eidleburger:
Zank you.

GRAMS:
massive explosion

Eidleburger:
Geblunden verschitz!! Zese cigarettes are strong!

Ned:
I know, they're made of iron.

Spike (German) Captain Eidleburger, zis message has just come through ze electic mangle.

Eidleburger:
Geblungen! It's a tale of ze Keiser's shirt! Play it on zis gramophone immediately!

GRAMS:
Crackly record of Spike: (German) "As from today, Germany is no longer at peace with England."

PJ2

Simply brilliant stuff.

blackhand

A333pilot,
can you expain then why the smoke is a different colour ( or color) to the wire?
Red wire should give red smoke and so forth.
I have only seen black smoke.

His dudeness

a330pilotcanada, having had 3 British bikes I can´t help but laughin real loud.

Thanks a lot!

Mind you, the Triumph Rocket 3 I ride these days does not leak oil (!!!!), sometimes it does mark its patch with cooling water (something unheard of on earlier british bikes!). Despite having no Lucas stuff on the electrical system (at least I have not seen a Lucas label on any electrical part...) the engineers at Triumph have managed to design a flaw into the system, the ignition switch regularly goes awol if the system isn`t modified (to much current - the lights - going through the switch), so the 'Lucas spirit' lives on....

mike-wsm

1. Further research indicates that the visual embodiment of electricity known as Smoke has a fundamental state known as Green Tea.

RR_NDB

Hi,

Mike-wsm @ # 8

Thanks for remembering there are "real smokes" (generated by DC circuits) and:

"Imaginary smokes" much more complex and rich. (explainable by Fourier, Maxwell, etc.). Power factor is just one component. There are many other. (RF, ESD, etc.)

On the comment on color wires (black smoke, coming from multicolor harness) the answer seems need further thinking.

Question:

Did "Lucas spirit" played a role in the "mastarpiece" battery supplied by a french company to introduce smoke into the (american) dream?

Mac the Knife

Hence the "smoke test" when building computers.

(As we all know, those little square plastic packages contain large volumes of compressed smoke, which makes the CPU work)

Finish building, turn on, if smoke-test -ve you are nearly there!

RR_NDB

Hi,

a330pilotcanada:

In Takamatsu your theory was fully confirmed. It was not necessary to place the copper bar. The designers made it: The cell # 3 shorted to ground and the result was:

1) Smoke in large quantities.

2) Battery voltage went to zero, after some time fluctuating.

A corollary of your theory can be:

The smoke (in any design) must be contained.

An example: If not smoke in TAK, 787 would be flying today. (there was no fire, there, AFAIK)

a330pilotcanada

Good Evening RR NDB

Just to be clear I did not write this but it was sent to me by a retired industry friend and as I found very funny so I posted it here for all to enjoy.

In closing I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have...

RR_NDB

Hi,

a330pilotcanada:



This part is the best!

Thank you

PS

Let´s see what 787 fix will be regarding, smoke.

DozyWannabe

Apropos of nothing, Joseph Lucas died long before the company that bore his name developed its notorious reputation due to long association with the late car manufacturer BMC (Austin/Morris/Triumph/Rover/Jaguar) - later British Leyland.

For all my opinion's worth, Lucas themselves didn't really deserve that notoriety, as most of the legendary faults tended to be due to poor workmanship during fitting and assembly, and as such was out of their hands.

In fact there are a lot of parallels that can be drawn between the British motor and aviation industries between the '50s and the '70s. In both cases the R&D and technology levels were world-class, but the actual production environment tended to suffer badly from management interference and political chicanery. Aviation was particularly poorly-served by the latter.

For example - here's Harris Mann's original concept design for the Austin Allegro:



And here's what several months of re-design by management committee turned it into (squared-off "Quartic" steering wheel not shown...):



The story of the DH.121 Trident is similar, except that while the aircraft remained relatively pleasing aesthetically, BEA's interference left it woefully underpowered and limited capacity-wise.

(proud Rover owner... )

mike-wsm

Is that what happens when you type "Trabant"?

911slf

While the products were rubbish, the Great King Street factory was wonderful. The building was so heavily constructed it cost a fortune to demolish.

Here are pictures of it.
Lucas Memories Great King Street

Don't try to contact the original poster. Her little button is broken. I don't think it will smoke if you press it.

They pay me a pension of £11.90 per annum (not index linked).

MurphyWasRight

A long time ago I had a suddenly dead very expensive ($5K) Hitachi monitor just before a critical demo.

I had a contact # for a real tech support person from a prior issue so I called him and started to descibe a couple of preliminay checks I had done.

He stopped me and said:
"see that brown electrolytic cap near the flyback"
when I said yes he replied
"that's your problem, a good one would still be blue".

Changed it out problem solved. Received updated boards for our units we had a short while later.

west lakes

For every problem, there is a solution

DozyWannabe

Actually no - though the ECV concept of the early '80s did have a more-or-less perfected 3-cylinder lean-burn engine.

For all Clarkson likes to grouch, the '80s vintage Rover Group lay a lot of the technical foundations that we see being used almost across the board these days. Honda's position in the European market would have been far less assured if it weren't for the collaboration with Rover back then, and the much- (and unfairly) maligned K-Series engine provided the blueprint for all the lean-burn 16v 4-bangers in use today. That's just two examples off the top of my head.

Digging further back, they bought a 50's era V8 design from Buick that GM considered mediocre at the time and re-engineered it into an powerplant which not only stayed in production for almost half a decade, but retained widespread respect until the day it was discontinued.

While never achieving the aim of matching BMW in terms of reputation, I still see more '80s and '90s vintage Rovers still soldiering on than any other UK-built cars.

Agaricus bisporus

Let us not forget Lucas' equally dismal partner in grime WiPac.

Incidentally no mere Triumph ever carried the hallowed name Rocket Three, that would be rather like claiming to have a Baptist Pope or an E Type Rover. I think the poor thing widdling water on the drive is a largely Jap (or maybe Korean) made impostor albeit one partially assembled here. The ghastly confused name tells us even the manufacturers don't really know what it is.

The real thing, complete with Joe Jucas and WiPac electrics. And (apart from tears of oily nostalgia) not a drop of water to be seen!