Collateral Damage- relationships- the hidden cost of aviation?
 

Hi, I've been a pilot for 16 years but am in a position to accept a job with an airline. I have been told to expect to be away 15 nights a month. Numerous pilots in various airlines have warned me about the strain the lifestyle has on relationships and I have witnessed several marriage breakdowns from past colleagues who now work for airlines. I want to know if there are any stats on family breakdowns and infidelity and are any airlines addressing this? My wife and children are more important to me than anything as they have been through this whole journey with me and I can't imagine us losing our close links but.......I'm sure a lot of you thought the same once. Is it worth the risk?

I believe the risk is up to you. I spent a career flying and infidelity was never a problem for me, although I do know of many cases of infidelity- lawyers, doctors, teachers, factory workers, carpenters, pilots, etc.

I'm only a spotter, but I've had to sack two wives.

If the last is true, you don't have to worry about the first, because you will quit the job at the first sign of any strain...

The REAL question is whether your being away will strain your relationship enough to cause it trouble. Is your wife an independent sort, who will thrive (not just "survive") in your absence? Will your kids understand your absence and thrive with just their mother around half the time? Will you make up for your absence when you return?

In my case, I suspect that being away from my wife half the time for the past 27 years has helped keep us together!