You know you're on the Subcontinent when....
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..... when newspapers provide beautifully anachronistic and eccentric usage of the English language. The quality newspapers are written in the English of the 1940’s referring to ‘outrage at the dastardly acts of these bounders’, in articles about the frequently occurring minor frauds and scams. Although the standard of writing is high, there are many factual errors and amusing misprints, such as the man who appeared with a ‘two day growth of bread on his chin’, or the man so incensed about his wife’s continual chatting that he returned home one evening with ‘stout stick in hand and proceeded to eat her with self same stick’. Until reading this, I had no idea that cannibalism was alive and well in India. These errors, or for a further example, a two-wheeler becoming a ‘two willer’, will not be corrected by conventional spell checkers.
Arranged, rather than forced, marriages are frequent and acceptable. Sunday newspapers carry pages of ‘Matrimonials’ - adverts placed by parents, categorised by caste, religion, profession, and educational qualifications, or even ‘green card holders’. These really are advertisements in the true sense of the word, extolling the virtues of their offspring, all of whom are ‘extremely handsome’, ‘beautiful’, ‘fair and graceful’, ‘wheatish slim’, ‘talented and charming’, or at the very least ‘smart in appearance and well qualified’. One assumes that the less favoured find their own partners. A major selling point is a US visa, the exact type and validity of this being specified in the announcement.
The most frequently requested characteristics are : ‘clean habits’, ‘cultured family’, ‘graduated’, ‘proper height’, ‘fair’, whilst education and profession are other criteria. Most ask for ‘bio-data and horoscope’, some even request ‘recent full and close-up photos of professional quality’. As always in India, highly cryptic abbreviations abound along with phrases such as ‘lofty personal traits in spouse are solicited’.
Arranged, rather than forced, marriages are frequent and acceptable. Sunday newspapers carry pages of ‘Matrimonials’ - adverts placed by parents, categorised by caste, religion, profession, and educational qualifications, or even ‘green card holders’. These really are advertisements in the true sense of the word, extolling the virtues of their offspring, all of whom are ‘extremely handsome’, ‘beautiful’, ‘fair and graceful’, ‘wheatish slim’, ‘talented and charming’, or at the very least ‘smart in appearance and well qualified’. One assumes that the less favoured find their own partners. A major selling point is a US visa, the exact type and validity of this being specified in the announcement.
The most frequently requested characteristics are : ‘clean habits’, ‘cultured family’, ‘graduated’, ‘proper height’, ‘fair’, whilst education and profession are other criteria. Most ask for ‘bio-data and horoscope’, some even request ‘recent full and close-up photos of professional quality’. As always in India, highly cryptic abbreviations abound along with phrases such as ‘lofty personal traits in spouse are solicited’.
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When you are in the only country with two enemy neighbours that are nuclear powers (Holy S***)....and yet you are in the only country with a 'No first use policy' on nuclear weapons.
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great post captenoin i can't help but
in awe of your observation, it was a refreshing change. We as a country need a social change more than an economic one i can live with the bureaucratic bottlenecks abject poverty nepotism rade tape, but how can i even breathe properly in a place where my religion and my last name becomes a bone of contention for discrimination against me, leading newspapers offer free ads for people who want to marry some one irrespective of his/her religion caste,widow/widower etc. but does it help in any way when a trivial issue over vande matram which was sung by a.r rehman himself becomes a national level issue and religious leaders escalate it to suit their own evil designs not even bothering what a common man be it hindu or muslim feels about it.. even in the so called urban delhi a muslim boy in his early twenties would have a hard time getting an accommodation why?? because even after 60 years of independence we continue to live how the british left us,
can a hindu/ muslim/christian/sikh boy/girl even dare to marry some one of another religion without the scare of our lives becoming a national media issue and radical elements biting into our flesh well the probable answer being NO...
will our "families" with a large army of relatives allow it to happen in the first place without killing our happines?? even when the court of law considers me legally mature enough to choose my life partner
i know this is an aviation forum and my post might qualify as a rant of an idle mind.. i might not have been able to pen my thoughts properly but being an Indian i dream of an India where my virtues and deeds are placed higher than my religion..
p.s recent incident - i was scorned at by my own relatives at family gathering for sporting a beard which according to them made me look like a person of a particular community.
i would love to see their faces when they realize i enjoy eating beef hahah
lets be proud of our different cultures and traditions instead of beating our chests about how secular our country is...when in fact most of our basic human rights stand infringed on the very grounds of religion.
in awe of your observation, it was a refreshing change. We as a country need a social change more than an economic one i can live with the bureaucratic bottlenecks abject poverty nepotism rade tape, but how can i even breathe properly in a place where my religion and my last name becomes a bone of contention for discrimination against me, leading newspapers offer free ads for people who want to marry some one irrespective of his/her religion caste,widow/widower etc. but does it help in any way when a trivial issue over vande matram which was sung by a.r rehman himself becomes a national level issue and religious leaders escalate it to suit their own evil designs not even bothering what a common man be it hindu or muslim feels about it.. even in the so called urban delhi a muslim boy in his early twenties would have a hard time getting an accommodation why?? because even after 60 years of independence we continue to live how the british left us,can a hindu/ muslim/christian/sikh boy/girl even dare to marry some one of another religion without the scare of our lives becoming a national media issue and radical elements biting into our flesh well the probable answer being NO...
will our "families" with a large army of relatives allow it to happen in the first place without killing our happines?? even when the court of law considers me legally mature enough to choose my life partner
i know this is an aviation forum and my post might qualify as a rant of an idle mind.. i might not have been able to pen my thoughts properly but being an Indian i dream of an India where my virtues and deeds are placed higher than my religion..
p.s recent incident - i was scorned at by my own relatives at family gathering for sporting a beard which according to them made me look like a person of a particular community.
i would love to see their faces when they realize i enjoy eating beef hahah
lets be proud of our different cultures and traditions instead of beating our chests about how secular our country is...when in fact most of our basic human rights stand infringed on the very grounds of religion.
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When there's a brewery not even 30 km away but your beer is hauled some 500 km on a truck from Madras because of the inflexible bureaucracy.
Oh...and the truck carrying your beer belches out thick diesel exhaust fumes and has "Save oil - Save India" painted across the back.
Oh...and the truck carrying your beer belches out thick diesel exhaust fumes and has "Save oil - Save India" painted across the back.
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how can i even breathe properly in a place where my religion and my last name becomes a bone of contention for discrimination against me
Try looking at the glass half full.
because even after 60 years of independence we continue to live how the british left us,
We as a country need a social change more than an economic one
The poverty wrenches my heart too but I dont sit around doing nothing about it.
There are others though who sit around reading newspapers while they fly cross country overtime and havent even scratched the surface of this sacred land and yet consider themselves fit to be an expert on India
Last edited by Capt Apache; 9th Nov 2009 at 07:45.
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Tangowithtushar
Great post!
At least you lack the British hypocrisy so common of your people!
But it is still a bit of a thread hijack, like what your other fellow compatriots are doing.
Keep thinking!
At least you lack the British hypocrisy so common of your people!
But it is still a bit of a thread hijack, like what your other fellow compatriots are doing.
Keep thinking!
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dear tangowithtushar,
Im not sure if you have travelled and/or lived outside India.
In my brief stay of just over a year in the US (flight training), I have seen the glittering AND the "dark" side of USA ... atleast the dark side of certain places in California... more specifically in small towns and the countryside.
I have myself seen and witnessed the lousy and creepy life of some of the hispanic and african-american population there.
Have heard some really poignant stories of American parents forcing their kids to get into drug dealings.
Have seen people living in utmost poverty and crime/prostitution being their sources of income.
I have seen an all out bloody street fight between a "white gang" and a "black gang", while driving back with friends after some grocery shopping.
Yes, physical/sexual abuse of children and women VERY MUCH happens in the west too.
USA is not just about Las Vegas, LA, NYC, Microsoft, Boeing, NASA, Hooters, Beaches and babes etc ...
It ALSO has a dark, creepy, horrible side which few people see or get to know about ...
Yes, I fully agree India has a dark side much bigger than the dark side in the US ... but with such a pessimistic attitude, we're only going to get darker.
It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.
having said that, I will always be grateful to the USA for allowing me to study there, receive quality education/training, explore some beautiful and picturesque places and get a chance to meet some great people and make some wonderful friends.
P.S ... Regarding your beard ... TRUST ME ... you're far safer here in India sporting your beard than in the US of A... atleast from the way I have seen it and heard from a LOT of my friends in the US.
Im not sure if you have travelled and/or lived outside India.
In my brief stay of just over a year in the US (flight training), I have seen the glittering AND the "dark" side of USA ... atleast the dark side of certain places in California... more specifically in small towns and the countryside.
I have myself seen and witnessed the lousy and creepy life of some of the hispanic and african-american population there.
Have heard some really poignant stories of American parents forcing their kids to get into drug dealings.
Have seen people living in utmost poverty and crime/prostitution being their sources of income.
I have seen an all out bloody street fight between a "white gang" and a "black gang", while driving back with friends after some grocery shopping.
Yes, physical/sexual abuse of children and women VERY MUCH happens in the west too.
USA is not just about Las Vegas, LA, NYC, Microsoft, Boeing, NASA, Hooters, Beaches and babes etc ...
It ALSO has a dark, creepy, horrible side which few people see or get to know about ...
Yes, I fully agree India has a dark side much bigger than the dark side in the US ... but with such a pessimistic attitude, we're only going to get darker.
It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.
having said that, I will always be grateful to the USA for allowing me to study there, receive quality education/training, explore some beautiful and picturesque places and get a chance to meet some great people and make some wonderful friends.
P.S ... Regarding your beard ... TRUST ME ... you're far safer here in India sporting your beard than in the US of A... atleast from the way I have seen it and heard from a LOT of my friends in the US.
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looking at the literacy rates in the USA we Brits didn't do much of a job there either.
Americans think they are a "english-speaking" country and are better since they speak the language. Unfortunately 95% of the Americans are bad at spelling. Some of my friends cannot spell words like Wednesday and engineering - and these are teachers at the high school level.
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Unfortunately 95% of the Americans are bad at spelling. Some of my friends cannot spell words like Wednesday and engineering - and these are teachers at the high school level
Thankfully there is Spell check is everywhere, now if only people figured out how to use it
Now can we get back to the humorous side of things. Sub continent for the most part can enjoy ourselves laughed at so let it roll guys and lets dispense with the emotional and other B/S stuff here.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, Cry and do so alone in some corner
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---> 100% attendance in movie theatres (house full !) ,
---> 100% bookings in resorts, parties, DJ nights in Goa, Delhi, Bombay etc
---> jam packed bars, hookah lounges, discos etc ...
BUT ... barely 40% voter turnout on polling day during elections is THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE STATE OF AFFAIRS IN INDIA.
WE, the people, get what we deserve.
---> 100% bookings in resorts, parties, DJ nights in Goa, Delhi, Bombay etc
---> jam packed bars, hookah lounges, discos etc ...
BUT ... barely 40% voter turnout on polling day during elections is THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE STATE OF AFFAIRS IN INDIA.
WE, the people, get what we deserve.
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when one has 5 cfl's 4 light bulbs and three tube lights etc and few other necessary appliances
and then one find day you open your mailbox to find an electricity bill of 57,000 rs for three months
with the sarkari babus sending you intimations of non payment week after week and threatening to cut your connection.
although the bill gets sorted out after 5 months of running after the babus and paying 6,000 as bribe in total, for a bill which was supposed to be 12,000rs
all because the sarkari computer fu
ked it up!!
and then one find day you open your mailbox to find an electricity bill of 57,000 rs for three months
with the sarkari babus sending you intimations of non payment week after week and threatening to cut your connection.
although the bill gets sorted out after 5 months of running after the babus and paying 6,000 as bribe in total, for a bill which was supposed to be 12,000rs
all because the sarkari computer fu
ked it up!!
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when a woman in Indias largest newspaper is referred to as a
'.....actor known as a serial kisser'!:
An actress went out for dinner with Headley? - India - The Times of India
when the first Volvo trucks were delivered in Chennai, the driver only used the 4 first gears - outta 12 - on the 1200 miles to Mumbai, due to his lack of knowledge of the 'high - low' gear switch.
'.....actor known as a serial kisser'!:
An actress went out for dinner with Headley? - India - The Times of India
when the first Volvo trucks were delivered in Chennai, the driver only used the 4 first gears - outta 12 - on the 1200 miles to Mumbai, due to his lack of knowledge of the 'high - low' gear switch.
Last edited by fhegner; 19th Nov 2009 at 16:37.
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fhegner,
The ACTOR being referred to as "the serial kisser" is indeed an ACTOR .. a male ... his name is EMRAAN HASHMI.
Emraan Hashmi - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The ACTOR being referred to as "the serial kisser" is indeed an ACTOR .. a male ... his name is EMRAAN HASHMI.
Emraan Hashmi - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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come on guys, any indian will heartily take a laugh at his cost.
i know subcontinent, when
1. you exit the terminal and all you see is a sea of heads, some turbaned and most not, all going in waves to somewhere.
2. you are on the road you feel like taking a leak right now. never had that feeling in US
3. the first haggle in ages with the taxicabwalla who asks for the moon but finally settles for much less.
4. hindi songs in full blare from all directions.
there is a lot more.
india is unique. world will be poorer if india changes its ways.
vibrancy, nervous energy, happiness even in poverty, lion heartedness and corruption in all its glory
india is great. long live india.
i know subcontinent, when
1. you exit the terminal and all you see is a sea of heads, some turbaned and most not, all going in waves to somewhere.
2. you are on the road you feel like taking a leak right now. never had that feeling in US
3. the first haggle in ages with the taxicabwalla who asks for the moon but finally settles for much less.
4. hindi songs in full blare from all directions.
there is a lot more.
india is unique. world will be poorer if india changes its ways.
vibrancy, nervous energy, happiness even in poverty, lion heartedness and corruption in all its glory
india is great. long live india.