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14th May 2021, 10:54
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

The prototype mobile phone looked good, but...

The prototype mobile phone looked good, but needed a Leyland truck and a ferkin' long extension cord.
14th May 2021, 02:40
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Somebody said the hostie was a real dog.

Somebody said the hostie was a real dog.
14th May 2021, 02:40
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

I am Sirius, and don't call me, Shirley!

I am Sirius, and don't call me, Shirley!
14th May 2021, 02:36
Replies: 15
Views: 2,997
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Well, back in the late 60s there was an applicant...

Well, back in the late 60s there was an applicant whose father was VERY high up in the French embassy system, and we were using Mirages, so this lad was accepted onto pilot course.

At 1FTS he was...
12th May 2021, 11:13
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

The sunnies are covering two black eyes, gained...

The sunnies are covering two black eyes, gained when he stuck his nose in the copilot's crotch. On finals.
Forum: Jet Blast
12th May 2021, 06:37
Replies: 13,978
Views: 2,083,755
Posted By Ascend Charlie

I have enjoyed films with Frances McDormand in...

I have enjoyed films with Frances McDormand in them, but today I endured Nomadland and was sadly disappointed. No real plotline, just a series of barely-connected cameos. Sad-looking people, very...
Forum: Jet Blast
11th May 2021, 01:17
Replies: 30
Views: 2,008
Posted By Ascend Charlie

They do it a few more times, people are more...

They do it a few more times, people are more accustomed to things falling from the sky, and then they slip one in, headed for Washington, containing a bucket of sunshine. Gotcha. Didn't expect that,...
11th May 2021, 01:04
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

The First and Second (bowel) Movements of Ride of...

The First and Second (bowel) Movements of Ride of the Valkyries, waiting for the Turd.
Forum: Jet Blast
10th May 2021, 11:32
Replies: 69
Views: 3,358
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Of course there is, it is Antarctica, a big wall...

Of course there is, it is Antarctica, a big wall of ice. With magical powers that stop any ship, submarine or aircraft from passing it and falling off the edge to see the turtles.

But I feel that...
10th May 2021, 05:19
Replies: 41
Views: 15,916
Posted By Ascend Charlie

"It won't land back in China, so it will not be...

"It won't land back in China, so it will not be our problem. And if it does, it will be because those aggressive countries interfered with our grand plans, in order to cause harm to our great nation...
Forum: Jet Blast
7th May 2021, 00:38
Replies: 7,423
Views: 376,749
Posted By Ascend Charlie

"Don't go out without your towel" Said the...

"Don't go out without your towel"
Said the Germans, with a huge scowl,
"Those Brits take your chair,
It just isn't fair,
7th May 2021, 00:35
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Section Officer Harvey, hiding in the rear...

Section Officer Harvey, hiding in the rear compartment, gives Braces Man a good time.
Forum: Jet Blast
6th May 2021, 04:39
Replies: 277
Views: 16,154
Posted By Ascend Charlie

OJ had a better email address too: /// \...

OJ had a better email address too:

/// \ (esc)
(translated as slash slash slash backslash, escape)
Forum: Jet Blast
6th May 2021, 04:34
Replies: 7,423
Views: 376,749
Posted By Ascend Charlie

When talking of Space, think of Spock Another...

When talking of Space, think of Spock
Another rocket jock,
But his pointy ears
Brought his girlfriends to tears
And they dreaded his pointier ................... umm.....
Forum: Jet Blast
5th May 2021, 06:44
Replies: 16
Views: 2,469
Posted By Ascend Charlie

"Them hawgs is tough mudders, they hide is like...

"Them hawgs is tough mudders, they hide is like armour, Ah needs this belt-fed mortar to bring'em down!"
5th May 2021, 02:46
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

(Not a caption) Actually, he also lost an...

(Not a caption)


Actually, he also lost an eye and a lot of intestines, which led to a couple of sick jokes:
Q: What force does it take to stop an aeroplane propellor?
A(1) One Newton
A(2) A...
Forum: Jet Blast
4th May 2021, 22:21
Replies: 7,423
Views: 376,749
Posted By Ascend Charlie

"May the Fourth be well with you" said Ed "For...

"May the Fourth be well with you" said Ed
"For there's steak & beer in the shed"
Strong in him is the Force,
Soaked in barbecue sauce,
And as Yoda said, "Mmmmm, well fed!"

***************...
Forum: Rotorheads
4th May 2021, 06:38
Replies: 10
Views: 2,476
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Lucky me, I have a signed first edition...but...

Lucky me, I have a signed first edition...but there are a lot of spelling, grammar and editing errors, which should have been ironed out by now.
3rd May 2021, 22:30
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Hoskins, last in line of course, heard the...

Hoskins, last in line of course, heard the command "Forward march!" but thought it was "Fourth of March", which made him wonder, as it was the fourth of May, so he stood still.
Forum: Jet Blast
3rd May 2021, 12:00
Replies: 13,978
Views: 2,083,755
Posted By Ascend Charlie

"NON-TRANSGENDER GIRLS??" Does he/she mean...

"NON-TRANSGENDER GIRLS??"
Does he/she mean "real girls"? Why describe them as "girls that did not start life as boys".

Da woild is gone crazy.
Forum: Jet Blast
3rd May 2021, 11:47
Replies: 7,423
Views: 376,749
Posted By Ascend Charlie

His mate Patrick stepped up to the crease, He...

His mate Patrick stepped up to the crease,
He was famous for his quick release.
He'd no sooner started,
Than his shot departed,
Forum: Jet Blast
3rd May 2021, 01:55
Replies: 7,423
Views: 376,749
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Now St Andrew,we Know his cross is tilted. And...

Now St Andrew,we Know his cross is tilted.
And maybe by a maiden was once jilted,
But Andrew's best friend,
Jeff Epstein, would send
A few more, carefully filtered.
Forum: Jet Blast
2nd May 2021, 05:02
Replies: 7,423
Views: 376,749
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Godís country is Wales, people say, But...

Godís country is Wales, people say,
But Christopher Hitchens said "Nay!
There is no god,
you silly sod!"
2nd May 2021, 05:00
Replies: 2,266
Views: 67,875
Posted By Ascend Charlie

Pink shirt one: "I think these sheep like the...

Pink shirt one: "I think these sheep like the Beach Boys!"
Pink 2: "Why's that?"
Pink 1: "Coz they are singing "Baa baa baaaaa..baa Baarbara Ann!"
Forum: Jet Blast
1st May 2021, 09:54
Replies: 7,423
Views: 376,749
Posted By Ascend Charlie

The first nun said, with some hope, To the...

The first nun said, with some hope,
To the second nun, "Where's the soap?"
Showing results 1 to 25 of 1000
 


 
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