Maybe the UK authority could require professional offenders to be banned from the FIR, in conjunction with the relevant national one. That would make their eyes water.

Right, I know what Mode S is and what it does. I also know that there's plenty of planes without mode S. So again, someone starts making pig noises and it seems to be coming from an area with a couple of non-mode S 1200 squawks, none of which are talking to ATC, what call sign do you call out?

If you had really caused some incident the 'tapes would be pulled' i.e. the analysis recordings for the system would be impounded. Then someone would follow your 1200 squawk back to its origin. With origin and time from most airports you would be identified. Of course you would continue to be tracked and point of landing (if possible) identified.

Problem is you may think your rendering of a dyspeptic moose is particularly jovial - but the emergency controller who is trying to deal with an emergency somewhere else in the FIR that you cannot hear as the emergency aircraft is out of LOS, may get particularly miffed.

The UK needs to find another dedicated frequency for practice DF steers.
The immature fart noise makers need to grow up.
Couple that with the accidental in range calls.
The occasional real emergency or PAN PAN
The fairly common mis handled frequency change/fly out of range issue
Air to air congestion compared to air to ground traffic.
And of course, the gossip mongers about the new bar to meet up in.

All these seem fairly minute separately , but when coupled all together, 121.5 is basically useless in the UK because most everyone has it turned down so they can monitor the active ATC frequency. I pity the poor soul that truly needs some help and can't raise anyone because everybody else has it turned down.
There are so many countries and operation departments within VHF range, that enough honest mistakes tacked upon all the unprofessional antics makes 121.5 not what it should be. Those that take this issue lightly need to sit back and reflect on this issue for a while.
It's not just the UK, but any HIGH traffic area in the world suffers from the same ailments. To me, the UK does seem to be the worst.
For the record, I spend less than 2% of my time flying in the USA.

I think it's just you. Never turned it down or off myself, nor do any of my colleagues.

No it's not just him - it's me too and so do many of my colleagues. They have no choice.
121.5 is becoming useless.

If 121.5 is becoming "useless" then people should be filing occurrence reports to that effect - a few hundred of those going to the Authority might prompt some action. It's unlikely that complaining on here will make much difference.

We were monitoring guard while an lost com intercept was happening.

The intercept aircraft were calling the aircraft on guard and when they finally answered some one with an English accent told the crew they were broadcasting on guard.

The military kindly told the english chap that he was performing an intercept and to basically 'shut the duck up.'

Was a good night had by all

The intercept aircraft were calling the aircraft on guard and when they finally answered some one with an English accent told the crew they were broadcasting on guard.

Isn't that exactly what 'Guard' is for? Don't some muppet pilots realise that? Obviously not. Reflecting on my career I do not remember ever being told the full use & etiquette of Guard. It was something I just picked up over time. However, it was a mixture of diverse opinions. Asking cadets what they knew about guard and the reply was it was an SOP to monitor it in case of losing ATC comms. That was it in their knowledge. It seems it was never in their airline training syllabus. Hence, perhaps, some of these ignorant, "you're on guard" responses.

It's surely time to move away from the archaic anonymous VHF system. This is 2016. I have a phone in my pocket that can instantly identify my 'transmissions' as being from me and also give my location. That technology cost peanuts.

If the idiots abusing 121.5 for their juvenile amusement were immediately identifiable, it would stop - instantly. A small data packet accompanying each mic press is all that's needed.

Apart from the benefit of silencing the idiots, there would be others, e.g. the aircraft ATC is currently talking to could highlight on the ATCO's screen.

The technology is already here - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-way_radio. Why are we still using 1950's radio tech in the most complex vehicles ever made ?

Probably for the same reason that the US Military are still using floppy disks.

We are using archaic systems because of airline beancounters who want to see a 'monetized profit' from any change within 18 months.

There are multiple different ways of identifying 'the idiots' and also removing the change of frequency issues. But it is cheaper to have a standard VHF box or two on the flight deck and cheap wins _every_ time. Safety never comes first for a beancounter.

Yes. That’s my experience. I have it turned right down until at least in the cruise in UK airspace. I wouldn’t do that in China/Russia/Africa/USA, etc. but then we don’t have MiGs or weekend warriors in F16s looking to shoot at people...

Last night sort of took the biscuit for 121.500 idiocy.

First comment "anyone know the champions league score"

"1-0 Athletico"

Thus follows 5-10 minutes of near continuous Spanish back and forward, animal noises, hollering, and goaaaaaaaaaallll impressions.

Try not turning 121.5 down after that!

Those guys have been flying the Atlantic too much during NFL or baseball season. Why people can't wait to hear the news later on is beyond me. The world will still turn. For those of us who've set the recorder it's damn bad etiquette.

I turn it down,regularly,....then,because of my age maybe,...forget to turn it up again.

Btw..if we could award points....the Choochoo train man,back in the early 2000s,over the western Atlantic,..id give them 10/10..

But the very best,most probably on 123.45 was the American lady,in southern drawl,...who came up with this gem..

"Heh guys,...do you know why we woman,...at the red stop lights,...always run our fingers through our hair?"
"Nope" came some obliging responders..
"Because we don't have no balls to scratch!"

Now, that was informative.....and well worth sharing...

JW411..(below).... Now,who would do such a dastardly thing!!!!!!..Did we ever fly together!

I used to fly with a captain who would sometimes push the transmit button and set off the fire warning test bell at the same time round about 30W when eastbound across the Pond in the middle of the night.

I often wondered how many slumbering pilots that wakened up.

Isn't 1200 still "autonomous fighter operations" in the UK?

Actually, they aren't. What is being done is CD Media are being used to get around the vulnerability that USB ports created. not Floppy disks, per se. :)

The Delta Capt in WATRS on Fri telling all about his "Navy" carrier landings and the virtues of the "Delta girls" ....gringeworthy.