Standard response to ragging from the paraffin pigeon drivers in the carrier Wardroom: "You all look the same on the end of the winch wire" :p

Remember that these comments come from people that think cessna’s are sexy, that is like taking fashion advice from someone who likes tweed.

But he's not in the UK, cobber.
They do things differently down here...

Surprised SASLess hasn't chipped in here.

too busy on FB! ;-)

Definition of a helicopter; A million parts, revolving around an oil, leak waiting for metal fatigue to set in

Never fly in any air vehicle which has the impertinence to defy the natural laws by refusing to stall when flown too slowly. Unless corrected such impertinence leads to hubris, allowing the air vehicle to believe it is the one in command.

The only air vehicle permitted to defy the natural law in this way is Gods Own aircraft, the Harrier.

PDR

And what did the harrier pilots have to learn to hover in - oh yes, a helicopter:)

Aah harriers. View at a museum near you.

I've never flown the Chinook but know many that have. Based on that experience it must be relatively easy to fly. ;)

Take away the gizmos and it is not so easy. One way of preventing the rear rotor from catching up with the front is to differentiate the collective and cyclics. Basically if the rear rotor isn't leaning as far forward as the front it wont catch up. This means it hasn't the same vertical component so it needs more pitch. I believe that on the early Piaseckis or Vertols there was a spirit level in the cockpit to assist you to level it with differential collective.

The problem with twin rotors is the transmission. Apart from the Belvedere one or more of the gearboxs was dependent on a shaft to drive it. This breaks and you have a fatal disymmetry of lift. Luckily AFIK this hasn't happened yet.

The Belvedere had an engine under each rotor and a synchronisation shaft keeping the blades apart. This has broken twice in service. In both cases the pilots flew the aircraft so the rear rotor, turning at a different speed than the front, was stepped above the front until they landed.

The shutdown was quite noisy.

Agree with the Cessna comment... but the Tweed comment, You clearly haven’t been to the races at Royal Ascot, racing at Goodwood, Henley Royal Regatta or Polo at Windsor Great Park... Tweed is quite the fashion and receives many compliments when worn, Is there no Tweed at The Durban?

Wasn’t it Edward VII at Ascot, when he saw Lord Harris in tweed instead of a morning suit, who remarked ‘Mornin’ Harris, going ratting ‘?

Quite possibly true! I wonder how many people outside of the UK understand the meaning of “ratting” with ferrets or terriers

Actually, I have been a guest at all of these c/o the significant other and her fondness for all things four-legged. Henley was a welcome break from eau de horse.
They provide some fantastic insight into the British psyche (and frequent lack of dentistry) :}
But we wafting away from the topic.

If we had a pound for every time we heard the one about the oil leak or the earth repelling, we would all be quite wealthy.
My personal favourite is still:
How do you tell the difference between God and a helicopter pilot?
God doesn't tell you he's a helicopter pilot..

God can't fly helicopters.

And we worship at the Church of Translational Lift:)

I always said they’d never catch on.

The problem here is that two helicopters are being forced to fly in close formation with each other. They are so ugly that they repel each other, so sometimes the shaft breaks.

The shaft certainly has broken on an RAF Chinook, at Odiham. Thankfully the aircraft was in the low hover and the occupants escaped intact. Mind you, everything else broke, too. The pilot told me that after it fell to the ground like a railway carriage, he naturally reached up to shut the engines down and the engine controls had departed, along with the cockpit roof, which was also missing.