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Shell Management in the flesh

Classic "Shell" response to a disaster......"Can I have that Cell Phone please!"

Translated from Shell-Speak into plain English....."We don't want no stinking cameras anywhere in sight of the disaster!"

Shell Management in the flesh

Here is our esteemed and valued friend Shell Management at work. You simply couldn't make this stuff up! :)

Have they managed to cap that well yet? :E

"Why are you still filming?" "Can I have that 'phone, please?"
Would 'Cheeky :mad:!' be too strong an expression?

Another Shell attempt to cover up the fact they didn't follow their own SMS, QMS, EMS, SeMS, H&SMS, HEMP procedures !!

kudos to whoever loosened the pipe! :E :D

That is one of the best I've seen on here for ages:D

Well, well, well, the joke is on you lot my gullible friends:):):):):):):):):):):)

Its all a hoax by eco-agitators determined to stop the legitimate business of a well respected international corporation fulfilling its civic duty by meeting the public's energy demands.

Internet hoax takes aim at Shell's Arctic plan - Upstreamonline.com

Quote:

Luke Johnson 08 June 2012 22:20 GMT

Environmental activists staged an elaborate internet hoax this week in protest of Shell's plans to drill in Arctic waters off Alaska, fooling thousands of viewers including some media outlets.

The hoax started with a video purporting to show a public relations event hosted by Shell at the Space Needle in Seattle, where the ice-class drilling barge Kulluk and drillship Noble Discoverer are docked awaiting deployment to Alaska.

In the video, shot with a shaky camera phone, an elderly woman attempts to get a drink from a miniature dispenser designed to look like a drilling rig. As she struggles to pour the drink, the dispenser malfunctions and spews brownish liquid all over the horrified woman.

"Turn it off!" demands one of the actors portraying a Shell official. "I can't turn it off!" another responds.

Click here to watch the video.

The fake video, entitled #ShellFAIL, was posted on the front page of popular internet site Reddit and was linked to and tweeted repeatedly, reportedly hitting the number two slot on YouTube's most-watched videos on Thursday. It was followed up by an emailed "press release", which was also fake, sent to many media outlets on behalf of Shell.

The fake press release claimed that Shell was considering legal action against the "unknown" activists behind the video. It falsely quoted a (fake) Shell spokesman as saying: "Activist groups are becoming increasingly desperate in their attempts to block our federally approved right to drill in the Arctic, and are resorting to ever more underhanded tactics."

Several media organisations (not Upstream) were duped by the hoax and have since issued corrections.

Environmental group Greenpeace, media specialists Yes Lab and activists with the Occupy Wall Street movement claimed responsibility for the hoax.

"This experience shows that a few energised people can compete with the billions that Shell spends on advertising and lobbying," said Greenpeace's James Turner, who played the role of a Shell official in the video.

Shell later issued a real statement on the hoax: "Recently groups that oppose Shell’s plans in offshore Alaska have posted a video that purports to show Shell employees at an event at the Seattle Space Needle. Shell did not host, nor participate in an event at the Space Needle and the video does not involve Shell or any of its employees. A fake press release claiming that Shell is considering legal action following the launch of the video was also distributed to the media.

"We continue to focus on a safe exploration season in 2012."

Shell spokeswoman Kelly op de Weegh (actually) added: "We are more focused on this year's responsible exploration programme, providing new jobs, and gathering data on the energy resource available offshore Alaska. We're ramping up to the drilling season and focused on doing that safely."

On Friday, the activists released a behind-the-scenes video of the hoax. It can be watched here.

Sadly too many people here seem bitter and twisted because:

They don't meet high SAI experience and competence standards
They have been found out during an audit
They feel (correctly) inferior to SAI aviation advisors
They mistakenly believe they could run an air logistics operation better than Shell
They have been put on the list as not required back

It must be remembered that Shell Aircraft International are the world leaders in aviation safety and the driving force behind all major safety successess of the last 20 years.

As ICAO run to catch up with SAI, the 7/7=1 initiative is the bedrock of the hole IHST initiative to reduce accidents globally by 80% in 10 years just as Shell has done:
Rotor & Wing Magazine :: 7/7=1

Or see more of SAI's industry leadership here:
http://www.caa.lv/upload/userfiles/f...%20Edwards.pdf
and
http://www.raes-hfg.com/reports/08de...e/comp-mon.pdf
and
http://www.hfdm.org/LinkClick.aspx?f...language=es-MX
and
http://www.ebace.aero/2011/archives/...-standards.pdf

Everyone in SAI are heros that deserve your praise and adulation.

So the last laugth is really on YOU.

js0987 says

Quote:

Shell Management - Just for You

And from his porch rockingchair SASless opines

Quote:

Well, well, well, the joke is on you my gullible friends:D:D:D:D

Its all a hoax by eco-agitators determined to stop the legitimate business of a well respected international corporation fulfilling its civic duty by meeting the public's energy demands. :E

Internet hoax takes aim at Shell's Arctic plan - Upstreamonline.com

Perhaps some one can PM SASless and point out his mistake. While happy to talk about me he has decided to ignore my messages (the sign of someone who knows they are wrong).

You can be sure of Shell!

Sir Korsky

You do know that video is a HOAX by eco-agitators don't you?

They are just the people who would want to ground helicopters and ban SUVs and have you eating lentils and dancing around a campfire outside your yurt singing cum by ya.

"Comedy had to be based on truth. You take the truth and put a little curliecue on the end"

Here the truth is that some political eco agitators can play on irrational fears of the general public and stage hoxes without any fear for their own credibility

Remember Brent Spar? It was subsequently proven that Greenpeace's 'scientific claims' about toxic substances aboard the bouy were false and that Shell's original environmental assessment was fair, balanced and correct.

Certainly fooled me and I think I'm a cynical barsteward.
Clearly not cynical enough.
. . . . or was it real after all? :suspect:

All part of a push to get a few more names on a petition and no doubt bring in more funds to propel their leadership on more international jaunts: ACT! - Greenpeace UK

Interesting that Shell Management talks about the Brent Spar.

He is technically correct in that the claims for toxic materials made by Greenpeace about the Spar were incorrect. Which is scarcely surprising given that only Shell actually had the data.

But Brent Spar - even internally in Shel,l is used as the prefect example of 'Group Think' - where a professional team essentially believed that only their own ponit of view was valid - and so dismissed all dissenting opinions - because of course they came from people who were nothing like as clever as they were (also something of a Dutch characteristic!).

On that basis Shell Management might even be Shell Management (but without the essential extra training that real Shell managers now get, to ensure they don't screw things up so badly again!).

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!