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AAC 50th birthday, looking for 50 cracking good stories

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AAC 50th birthday, looking for 50 cracking good stories

Old 3rd Aug 2007, 19:45
  #21 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
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There was also a crewman about to go on his pilots course in the mid eighties who had just discovered that his SMG was somewhat non adjacent - Last seen on a TOW tube that was about to do a Wx check about two hours ago....

What about Billy Wells and his RFC wings - Explaining to a Squabbling Bleeder in the back of a Chinook that the AAC had just got the Royal Warrant...

The Red Baron...
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Old 4th Aug 2007, 10:36
  #22 (permalink)  
 
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Hong Kong
Scout with the 'Star Trek away team' on night standby for anti AA (Aider's & Abetter's) Op's. The Scout is fitted with Nitesun and Bomb racks loaded with four 4 inch slow falling flares and 2 flares attached to the bulkhead in the back.
The Story goes:
The Scout is called in to help the RN and RM patrols with the capture of 2 AA speedboats each carrying about 4 II's (Illegal Immigrants). The AA's can do about 40knts and start to pull away from the patrol boat and rigid raiders, with the introduction of the Scout to the chase and the use of the flares to illuminate the area, the patrol boat manages to catch one of the speedboats.
The Scout and the rigid raiders now turn their attention to the remaining AA, who to reduce weight and gain extra speed starts to throw the II's overboard thus slowing down the pursuing rigid raiders as they have to pick them up.
The Scout now on it's own uses the nitesun to illuminate the AA whilst awaiting support from either the patrol boat or the raiders, meanwhile one of the crew comes up with a plan, they will drop low level over the speedboat and armed with his night stick the crewman is to jump into the boat James Bond style and arrest the AA's. The front crew now over dosing on adrenaline think this is a great idea and try to convince the 'Obs' whilst decending over the boat, As they reach the boat the 'Obs', who has so far not been convinced and replied 'with respect sir's f***off ' and other such useful phrases to demonstrate his noncompliance with their orders, has hatched his own plan and lobs one of the flares straight into the speedboat, Luckily the AA's thinking it was a bomb bale out, which was the right choice as the flare ignited the fuel and exploded. thus bringing the chase to an end.
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Old 4th Aug 2007, 20:35
  #23 (permalink)  
 
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As we seem to be in to names: Messers Daly and Thompson are flying a pax on a recce around the GDP(those were the days!!!). Charly's flying and Mick is the "crewman". Anyway, Charly needs a pee, so sets down in a field, briefs his "crewman" to just guard the controls, hops out and disappears behind a bush. Mik says to the pax, "Now it's my turn". The pax tries to talk him out of it but Mick's not listening and lurches up into a barely controlled hover. The pax spends the next 5 minutes offering advice on how to get back on the ground safely.
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Old 5th Aug 2007, 14:22
  #24 (permalink)  
 
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Norway, ‘81 or ‘82 (the events will lead someone to pin it down), and Sgt Golf along with pilot whose name escapes me, is running in at 10 000’ for a free fall drop over the frozen lake at Bomoen. Jumpers are literally in the door, when a serious sounding abort message comes up. Sgt Golf drags the jumpers back in, shuts door as ordered, and back to Bomoen strip.

Turns out, Simon The Pieman (OC 33) had had a ‘heavy landing’ in a whiteout (the cab was f***ed, but there was no heavy fallout) and help was needed. We set off directly.

The day got worse en route, when we hear that the AAC gazelle (there is a link, I promise) carrying JEngo and a snco groundie to the site really did Cat 5 in in a whiteout. Three bad injuries, as it happens.

Golf aids his driver to the most carefully recced 0/0 landing you’ve ever seen!

Anyhow, we loaded up the AAC non com pilot and headed off for the Norgie hospital. Couple of mins in, the army boy beckons me over. Over the noise, he gives me what- I swear- is brewing into a real deathbed declaration. “My jacket pocket, please, my jacket pocket.” I was wetting myself, and being supportive like in the war films. “You’ll be fine”, says I.

“No, you must take it for me”, says brown job. I stuck my hand in his pocket, and pulled out an envelope, thinking, shit, this is his will for his missus or something.

With his final, but not dying words, he croaks, “You must keep this safe…..It’s the squadron beer fund for up north next week”.

Man deserved a medal for his loyalty! Yes, I handed over the kronks. Never got his name.

CG
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Old 5th Aug 2007, 19:49
  #25 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
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Prior to deployment to Gulf 1, the crabs spent milions on a project run by a professor, on choosing a desert colour scheme for their helicopters. An AAC Brigadier did the same thing by standing up through the sunroof of his staff car as a Gazelle flew past him with a choice of colour on each side!
Or the Flight Commander who on returning from a muddy exercise, decided to hover his Gazele under an commercial farm sprinkler system. Needless to say it all went very quiet! No names Chris W!
I once flew a particularly fierce passenger to an exercise location whose grid my crewman had written on his kneepad, only to discover that there was no one there! Yep, we arrived at a telephone number! Not top 50 material but very amusing at the time!
Daly and Thompson once cornered the market on amusing adventures!
One for the top 50 must be Greville Edgecobe's story of dropping off a Brigadier at a garden party. He couldn't see anywhere to land his Scout other than the tennis court with a high surrounding fence. This he did, unloaded his pax and flew back to the Squadron. He was met by a fairly upset O.C. who explained that the tennis court had been locked up and now the Brigadier was as well. Greville's own story paints a much better picture. In fact he could possibly fill the top 50 himself!
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Old 7th Aug 2007, 10:46
  #26 (permalink)  
 
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Daly and Thompson once cornered the market on amusing adventures!
How those two stayed out of jail remains a mystery to me.
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Old 7th Aug 2007, 12:43
  #27 (permalink)  
 
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Stu and Jelli

Must have been around the big FTX in '84. We had all been briefed that no matter who it was, nobody gets to sit in the front of an Army helicopter unless they are aircrew, quite right too. It was from "on high" and the penalties were to be severe.

Anyway, Stu and Jelli were diverted from an FAC job to collect a Brigadier and take him on a recce. The Brigadier's helicopter had gotten lost or was u/s or something, and Stu had to try to recover the situation and keep the Corp's name clean.

When he arrived, the Brigadier was already furious (Brigadiers always struck me as the angriest rank ever). He came storming out and said - OK, this is where I want to go.... he then proceeded to get into the front left seat. Stu said, errr sir, that is Sgt Jelli's seat, you can sit behind him if you like..... The Brigadier retorted...No I can't Sgt, your crewman can sit behind me if he likes, I'm the commander of this Brigade and I sit in the front. Not any more sir, I'm sorry, you can't sit in the front......WHAT??? The Brigadier's mouth and eyes opened wide as he exploded... WHAT ARE YOU SAYING SGT??? ARE YOU, A %^^&** SGT IN THE LIGHT %$#%^* INFANTRY, TELLING ME, A %$^&* BRIGADIER, THAT I HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK? Yes sir! OK SGT
%$#^ OFF! ^%$# OFF BACK TO YOUR %$$^&* MICKEY MOUSE ORGANISATION AND FIND ME A %^$^%&* PILOT WHO WILL ALLOW ME TO SIT IN THE %$#%^& FRONT SEAT. Very well sir! And off he jolly-well
%$#%ed.

We done Stu for standing your ground and for making me smile every time I think about it.
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Old 7th Aug 2007, 13:45
  #28 (permalink)  
 
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Mightygem, it amazed us all! Good on em! Where are they now?
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Old 7th Aug 2007, 15:26
  #29 (permalink)  
Hughesy
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Funny Stuff.

This thread is great!! Some funny story's here!
Keep 'em coming lads.

hughesy
 
Old 7th Aug 2007, 16:34
  #30 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Hampshire, England
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hihover
Another couple from that period.
1) Clive and Geoff tasked from Soest to Munster to pick up Brigade commander +1 and carry out a recce.
They duly arrive at Munster early and are met by the Brigadier, who is not prepared to sit in the back and would now like to carry an extra pax after they had been to the mess for tea, Clive explained the new rules to him and asked what he was suposed to do with his crewman, 'I don't care Sergeant, you deal with it and make sure he is not here when I get back'.
An hour later the Ops room received a phone call from the Brig asking where his helicopter was, to be informed that the pilot had followed his orders, returned the crewman to Soest and was just waiting for the techs to complete the paperwork after removing the duals.
2) On a TEWT in Germany My Pilot was tasked with flying a General (cant remember who) and I would have to give up my front seat, I reminded him about the duals and he told me to remove them, as I was fitting the blanks the General asked me what I was doing and where are the duals? I told him that for non aircrew the duals have to be removed. He ordered me to put them back, To which I said 'I can't sir, only techs can refit them', he then turned on my pilot and informed him that he had some flying lessons from an RQHI and wanted the duals refitted, my pilot had no choice but to agree with me.
The General then took the pilot to one side for a bit of finger poking, after which my pilot returned and told me to take my kit as the General did not want me in his aircraft, he was to carry another 2 Senior officers and they may have some sensitive issues to discuss, and I should join the road party at the bottom of the hill.
I removed my helmet and Navbag and started to walk down the hill to the road party only to watch them pull onto the main road and drive off, I went back up the hill in time to see the aircraft lift, After sulking on a rock for a while I saw a lynx approching form the east and waved at him with My Dayglo flash card.
I knew the Pilot Paddy and as luck would have it they were from Detmold but had to drop spares off at Soest so they took me home.
My Pilot turned up much later, a little p***ed off as he had mainly been following the autobahns to drop the general off then return to Soest (my navbag had all the maps and charts).
and they would now have to organise a search as when the the road party arrived at Hereford I was not on board and none of them had seen me. As he had no maps he was unable to go back to the TEWT to find me.
He didn't take it too bad when the OC informed him that I had been in the Crewroom for at least an hour awating his return.
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Old 7th Aug 2007, 18:14
  #31 (permalink)  
 
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Mightygem, it amazed us all! Good on em! Where are they now?
Charlie's flying VC10s with the crabs, and Micks a civvy somewhere.
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Old 8th Aug 2007, 19:07
  #32 (permalink)  
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Blind Pue,

That last one is a corker. I already knew the story and it still made me spit my tea over the monitor.

Jeep
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Old 9th Aug 2007, 05:13
  #33 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Squadron commander and the divisional aircraft engineer head out on to the line at Soest to go flying in a Gazelle.

Five minutes later the pair arrive in the line office demanding to know who signed the
pre flight as the aircraft has a u/s tailrotor drive shaft (noisy bearings).

After giving the offending tech a public dressing down, they head off for a coffee while a second aircraft is prepared.

The afore mentioned tech (Steve Gooodall) volunteers to preflight the second aircraft.
Venturing on to the line he spins the rotors of each Gazelle in turn, returns to the line office and snags all the squadron Gazelles with the same defect, noisy bearings.!!!!!!!!!!!

An apology was forthcomming, well deserved for a fine display of balls.
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Old 9th Aug 2007, 05:23
  #34 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Getting rather pissed off with continuous night flying in the summer, the techs at Soest indulge in a spot of clag dancing.

This consists of half a dozen souls dancing round the pan carrying a main rotor blade in an immitation of a red indian war dance.

Everyone heads off for tea to return at the specified time for night flying.

From the B1 it becomes clear that the airfield has a thick layer of mist lying on it though everywhere around is clear!!!!!!!!!! Success...


Clag dancing is then formally banned by the engineering officer on the grounds that damage might be done to a valuable rotor blade.

Bugger!!!!!!!!!
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Old 9th Aug 2007, 13:53
  #35 (permalink)  
 
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1) Hohne 93
663 on Ex at Hohne are tasked to send a Gazelle back to Soest to pick up the Brigade Comd so that he can watch the TOW shoot later that day.
RHQ give a go the day before, but that morning the weather is not as forecast, with strong winds (40knts +) in Hohne and low cloud on the ridges to the South.
The OC selects a crew and informs them that it will be on limits but could they give it a go, he will assist with the start by giving thumbs up when he feels the wind has dropped below 40knts and it is safe to start rotors. This works and the Gazelle departs on route.
The intial stage is fine, the strong wind keeps the cloud base above limits and the crew use the Minden Gap as their first crossing to pick up the Autobahn south bound, as they get closer to the teutoburg the wind slackens and they find the usual gaps around Bielefeld blocked, But the Comd remembers a little known crossing point around Halle that was used by 662 pilots based at Munster flying to Bunde, they aim for this point and find it clear.
With 300ft and 1ks vis (ish) they continue towards Gutersloh, now talking to the Tower they are given permission to cross the centreline and what is their position? whilst unsure the Comd reads off the LWNA '2 miles', then the Pilot corrected him with '50 metres' as he sees the Tower looming out of the mist.
The rest of the flight is in low ground and they arrive at Soest Airfield. with no groundcrew around they help themselves to fuel and depart for San Sabastian Bks to pick up the Brig. This done they start back for Hohne using the same route they had just come.
As they are lifting the Brig, 662 Ops who are waiting at Soest Airfiled receive the following call from the Chief of Staff.
COS 'I thought you said the weather is too bad to fly'
Ops ' Yes, Sir it is'
COS 'Too bad for Colonels but not for Brigadiers then, Listen', and he held up the handset for the Ops to hear 'The roar of the Mighty Gazelle' (or something like that but you get the gist) 'As the Gazelle has just come from Hohne and is now going back the weather must be OK'.
At this 662 were spured into action and prepared to launch the Sqn to pick up the COS and join the TOW shoot.
An hour or so later the Gazelle arrived at Hohne to be asked if they had seen any Lynx, Other than the 8 on Soest dispersal the crew said no.
They found out later that the Lynx had launched to follow them, only to have too divert to Gutersloh, Detmold, in fields etc, as they couldn't find any gaps.
2) NVG Recce Benson to Lydd back to Benson.
Weather mainly sunny with rain showers,
Gazelle arrives at Benson and picks up 28 sqn pilot for recce, they depart on the recce routing south of Odiham then turn eastbound towards crowbrough, on arrival at crowbrough they find the cloud base on the high ground and very little visibility due to heavy rain.
Lydd ATC informs them that they are also in a heavy shower so it is decided to cancel the refuel and pick up the rest of the route westbound. as they get past Midhurst they dial up Odiham and hear them trying to make contact with Swallow formation.
The weather to the west of Midhurst has also turned into heavy showers with cloud base and vis reducing, The crew pickup the A272 towards Petersfield, with local knowledge and good map reading from the 28 Sqn pilot, they get through the Gap to the west and as they clear the wires at the highest point en route they see in a large field to the North 3 Griffins static but burning and turning.
Deciding that this was the missing Swallow Formation they try to call Odiham to let them know their position, only to be stepped on by the following
'ODiham this is Swallow ** 20 NMs to the south of your field, climbing through 900 ft to 3000ft inadvertant IMC request pickup and poisitioning for a recovery.'
followed by the other 2 straight after.
The 28 sqn pilot turned to the gazelle pilot and said 'thats what happens when you try following Gazelles you have no idea how much they know'
Morale of the stories: Don't follow another aircraft unless you know who it is and what they know.
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Old 10th Aug 2007, 10:14
  #36 (permalink)  
 
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N IRELAND a few years ago (1976) Sortask - pick up Lisburn 2000 - further pick up Ballymena - drop all at Coleraine. Wait for return 2330. Pitch black and sat in seat ready to go as was the procedure whilst they got in - all doors closed set off on return track to drop off in Ballymena -on shooting approach pax alongside from rousing from a slumber asked what are doing - I replied of course to drop off Ballymena pax, to which I got a reply saying - THEY DID NOT GET IN BUT TRAVELLED BACK BY CAR ! altered heading 5 degrees east for Lisburn - glad it was not a 180. Rod Scott rings me weekly. regards to all Ex AAC Michael Gee now operates HLS at his home Swineside N Yorks

Last edited by Michael Gee; 11th Nov 2010 at 09:42. Reason: spelling
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Old 10th Aug 2007, 13:56
  #37 (permalink)  
 
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JB delivering the mail to monaghan
This one intrigued me as I served in Monaghan for a time as a member of the ARI (Army of the Republic of Ireland) and I never heard any story?

Was it the barracks or the town.
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Old 10th Aug 2007, 14:36
  #38 (permalink)  
 
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Corsair
I think you will find that it was when JB mistook Monaghan for Amargh at night, and would have delivered the mail there if he had found a landing site.
Similar to the Lynx with nitesun.
When told by St Angelo Buzzard to move further west as he was shining the light across the border. The Air Gunner denied it and said they were over Rosslea.
Buzzard repeated 'Move west!! the man at the window holding a phone in the middle of your nitesun beam is the Garda at Cloones and can confirm you are in the South'.
The Lynx hastily headed west
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Old 10th Aug 2007, 15:08
  #39 (permalink)  
 
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JB did not deliver the mail to Monaghan but landed there very short of fuel in a Sioux having been given a "bum steer" by his OC, I don't think it was at night. A little before my time but we still had the fuel bill from the Irish Army in the 662 scarp book.
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Old 10th Aug 2007, 15:19
  #40 (permalink)  
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Corsair,

It would appear that it was the barracks.

Thank you JB for the story, it is a cracker.

It is the 14 August 1977. The story of Monaghan goes like this. I had left Middle Wallop only 2 months previous and had one month of training in Germany proir to deployment.
I was tasked with carrying out the ADS run with the mail. The route was from the Maze-Lisburn-Portadown-Armagh-Dungannon-Omagh-etc-etc.
The weather was fine with a light wind and high cloud base. I set off with the mail man and all was well. There was a premarked map with the route on. On leaving Portadown we set course for Dungannon, they stated that they had no mail therefore there was no need for us to land there.
So altered course for Omagh. On the preprinted map there was a wood marked whch was no longer there on the ground. While I was debating on this the FFILT light came on. Started to get concerned at this stage so called up Omagh and received no answer, turned towards Dungannon, called them, nothing turned back to Omagh.
Called Omagh again and an airborne pilot answered[the OC ] he asked what the problem was so I told him I had the emergency and was unsure of my exact position. He asked me to transmit for Homing(he was in a Sioux and they had the homing facility). After a couple of goes he stated that I was north of Omagh and to head South. in fact I was North of Monaghan. So I set off south and the first barracks I came across was an Irish Army barracks which I circled a few times. The Irish amry came out and blocked the square to prevent us landing, so I whipped around the front of the barracks and landed on the grass and shut down. They all came rushing around pointing guns at us like we were and invading army. A Major came forward anf said," For ****'s sake lads will you calm down".
Told him of our predicament and he took us inside to contact base. As we were a bit low on fuel I requested some. We had lunch and the potatoes were terrible. Eventually got fuel and the Major said we would have to be careful on lift as the IRA may try to shoot us down. Took off like a bat out of hell and flew to Armagh to shut down.
It was the day before the Elections in Eire and I had a mention in the Times and The Telegraph.

Next came the Board of Enquiry. I put my hand up and said it is my fault, but they were after bigger fish and blamed the Theatre QHI and the OC from Omagh. They never forgave me and refused to ever fly with me. There loss.

My Northern ireland famil was in the back of a Scout with no map.
Such is life!!!!!!!!!!
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