What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)
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Affluent Boss,
Whose job do you think ruma is after? He seems to think that I am a helicopter now
. This is, however, as NEO says, a rumour network, so long may he continue posting. One thing about rumours normally is that eventually they are either confirmed as fact or cast aside as idle speculation. Time will tell whether waht ruma has to say is speculation or not. If you have any facts to prove or disprove what he says, air them here instead of claiming them as innuendoes, aspersion or half-truths. If you know them to be so, then give us the real facts.
ruma,
How do you thnk the pipelines are going to be patrolled when NNPC for many years has been unable to supply fuel for helicopters to patrol any but a limited few pipelines between Port Harcourt - Warri - Lagos or up and down to Enugu
. What has caused the grounding of the helicopters on the Presidential fleet? Maybe, they, like Odili's are grounded because the NCAA will only permit a new type on the Nigerian register to operate if there is a manufacturer's technical representative available for engineering for the first 6 months. After all, that's what happened with the EC155 - oops, did someone forget to check that and mention it to the governor 
Whose job do you think ruma is after? He seems to think that I am a helicopter now
. This is, however, as NEO says, a rumour network, so long may he continue posting. One thing about rumours normally is that eventually they are either confirmed as fact or cast aside as idle speculation. Time will tell whether waht ruma has to say is speculation or not. If you have any facts to prove or disprove what he says, air them here instead of claiming them as innuendoes, aspersion or half-truths. If you know them to be so, then give us the real facts.ruma,
How do you thnk the pipelines are going to be patrolled when NNPC for many years has been unable to supply fuel for helicopters to patrol any but a limited few pipelines between Port Harcourt - Warri - Lagos or up and down to Enugu
. What has caused the grounding of the helicopters on the Presidential fleet? Maybe, they, like Odili's are grounded because the NCAA will only permit a new type on the Nigerian register to operate if there is a manufacturer's technical representative available for engineering for the first 6 months. After all, that's what happened with the EC155 - oops, did someone forget to check that and mention it to the governor
The EC-155 Tech Reps were nothing to do with the NCAA and everything to do with the owner wanting sound support.
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Notwithstanding the fact that the tech reps were part of the package that Shell got with the aircraft initially.
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AW 139 and Nigeria
Whether it was Shell or the NCAA who requested the tech rep, you'd have thought someone in CHC/Aero management would have known about this and discussed whether it would happen with the introduction od another new type. Seems to me somebody didn't do his homework very well on this one and Odili has every right to be angry if he was being advised by aviation professionals in this company. Of course, it's entirely possible his own state government did all the negotiations and Aero just got the ops and maintenance contract. Was the contract put out to tender to Caverton and Bristow? What's happening about the civil AW139 program in Nigeria now? Are Aero going to have an AW tech rep there before they bring in any of their own 139s? Is Bristow still looking at the AW139?
Nigerian In Law
UL,
Aero are too professional not to get things in place beforehand. The State Government are not, as you know.
As far as I know (which is very little), Bristow are not looking at the 139 in Nigeria for the foreseeable future.
But what do I know ? I love a good rumour
NEO
Aero are too professional not to get things in place beforehand. The State Government are not, as you know.
As far as I know (which is very little), Bristow are not looking at the 139 in Nigeria for the foreseeable future.
But what do I know ? I love a good rumour
NEO
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NEO,
Too true. I am not sure how the 139 was acquired, but it does smack of local ineptitude. If the local gov purchased it then they would have purchased the associated warrantee, support and tooling etc etc to go with it. Being government they would have looked to limit their financial exposure on top of this already expensive toy, so...........
As far as I have heard, the 139 is still on track for Nigeria but to the tech rep issue, who knows.
Bear in mind also that the 155's at Bristow were the first of type in civil ops worldwide, while the 139 is already operating, so technically it is only new to Nigeria and thus may not be subject to all the hoopla that surrounded the 155.
That is my opinion of course subject to instant revision at NCAA's pleasure.
I am sure if the right person saw the right opportunity then the first S61 to operate in Nigeria would also need a tech rep!!
Too true. I am not sure how the 139 was acquired, but it does smack of local ineptitude. If the local gov purchased it then they would have purchased the associated warrantee, support and tooling etc etc to go with it. Being government they would have looked to limit their financial exposure on top of this already expensive toy, so...........
As far as I have heard, the 139 is still on track for Nigeria but to the tech rep issue, who knows.
Bear in mind also that the 155's at Bristow were the first of type in civil ops worldwide, while the 139 is already operating, so technically it is only new to Nigeria and thus may not be subject to all the hoopla that surrounded the 155.
That is my opinion of course subject to instant revision at NCAA's pleasure.
I am sure if the right person saw the right opportunity then the first S61 to operate in Nigeria would also need a tech rep!!
Nigerian In Law
UL,
Dead right. Maybe we'll be seeing them when they finish on the UK Coastguard contract Luvverly
Meanwhile, what's happening with security arrangements for the CHC and Bristow guys ? Has a Fort Apache been built to house them yet ? I know East Dead Road isn't ready (and won't be for a good while), but are the BGI guys still in Dodgy Woji ?
Cheers,
NEO
Dead right. Maybe we'll be seeing them when they finish on the UK Coastguard contract
Luvverly Meanwhile, what's happening with security arrangements for the CHC and Bristow guys ? Has a Fort Apache been built to house them yet ? I know East Dead Road isn't ready (and won't be for a good while), but are the BGI guys still in Dodgy Woji ?
Cheers,
NEO
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NEO,
Sadly I can't help you there as I am happily no longer on the dark continent. I have taken up employment on the similalrly shaped but smaller continent to the west, and the view is GRRRREAT! 
Que ****, que cuerpo!!
Sadly I can't help you there as I am happily no longer on the dark continent. I have taken up employment on the similalrly shaped but smaller continent to the west, and the view is GRRRREAT!
Que ****, que cuerpo!!
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UL,
I think you'll find that the reason the 139 in the aero hangar is not flying is because the NCAA are insisting on a tech rep for it. If aero have the contract to operate and maintain it for the government, they should have checked this with the NCAA beforehand. Naturally, it could be that after having all the necessary approvals the old BE (brown envelope) was not forthcoming (now that CHC and Bristow are super 'ethical'), so the goalposts were moved. The only company which approves of BEs now is possibly Caverton as they are not bound by American business principles.
I think you'll find that the reason the 139 in the aero hangar is not flying is because the NCAA are insisting on a tech rep for it. If aero have the contract to operate and maintain it for the government, they should have checked this with the NCAA beforehand. Naturally, it could be that after having all the necessary approvals the old BE (brown envelope) was not forthcoming (now that CHC and Bristow are super 'ethical'), so the goalposts were moved. The only company which approves of BEs now is possibly Caverton as they are not bound by American business principles.
Tok,
The tried and true "Brown Envelope" system is the same the world over pretty much....the key is on how one manipulates the system to achieve a desired effect. As witness to that statement....ask the Clinton's how they bought a Five Million dollar estate in New York, or the young and upwardly mobile Barack Obama about his real estate deal. A quick look into Congressman William Jefferson's freezer where he kept his videographed bribery payment will also yield results.
One merely has to be a bit more creative with the way the Dash arrives in the outstretched palm....anyone who has completed Business 101 should be able to arrive at a workable plan.
There is no law that limits how much I can pay a consultant....what that consultant does with his money is his business....I just want to see results. As long as the results are forthcoming....I will keep that consultant on retainer.
Perhaps CHC and Bristow should employ a Chicago Democrat to assist in their operations in Nigeria?
The tried and true "Brown Envelope" system is the same the world over pretty much....the key is on how one manipulates the system to achieve a desired effect. As witness to that statement....ask the Clinton's how they bought a Five Million dollar estate in New York, or the young and upwardly mobile Barack Obama about his real estate deal. A quick look into Congressman William Jefferson's freezer where he kept his videographed bribery payment will also yield results.
One merely has to be a bit more creative with the way the Dash arrives in the outstretched palm....anyone who has completed Business 101 should be able to arrive at a workable plan.
There is no law that limits how much I can pay a consultant....what that consultant does with his money is his business....I just want to see results. As long as the results are forthcoming....I will keep that consultant on retainer.
Perhaps CHC and Bristow should employ a Chicago Democrat to assist in their operations in Nigeria?
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New Year In The Aero Gay Bar
In the spirit of our hopes for a better 2007 for all employees, irrespective of gender, politics or religious persuasion, we'll be having a great party in the Gay Bar this evening. In the interests of safety, alchohol will only be served until 2000 (and then only on individual member's cards), to a limit of 2 units of alchohol per member. However, free milkshakes and cherry sodas will be provided by management until midnight. There will be a fantastic discotheque playing live Village People hits most of the evening, culminating in the smash hit "Ready for the 80's" to highlight our forward-thinking management strategies. At midnight, there'll also be free sparkling maple-flavored shakes, maple icecream as the band plays and we all sing "O Canada". Unfortunately, it's much to dangerous for us to be there to celebrate with you, and tho' we'll be there with our wives, we'll be there in (non-alchoholic)spirit with you and all your male friends.
Talking of security, we're now beefing up personal security for access to the staff house and bar. In view of the recent car bomb explosions and the announcements by MEND that they will be starting their suicide bombing campaign soon, I've written to Geri and authorised him to instruct Pointed security to conduct full body searches. These will be carried out discretely behind the same sort of curtains that add so much to our vehicle security. Pointed security operatives have been instructed to always use new disposable gloves for each search, to keep fingernails well trimmed, have a plentiful supply of vaseline and to avoid picking their noses when on body search detail. I've received reports that some staff have been trying to smuggle in females, which we all know is terribly dangerous and irresponsible. The body search should take care of this issue. Just in case there are still some unreformed ex SAW people out there, I've authorised stewards to carry out a search of all personal belongings and report to me if they find that anyone is harbouring dildoes. These could be terribly dangerous and packed with dynamite.
I'd like to remond all that HESS have recommended the wearing of PSE to the bar, because of the danger of some people becoming frolicksome and throwing objects, or ceiling fans becoming detached. Please remember to wear hard-hats and safety boots, instead of baseball hats and sneakers. Hard hats may, of course, be removed in the dining room.
Enjoy the party in our tropical paradise one and all. A Very Happy New Year.
Talking of security, we're now beefing up personal security for access to the staff house and bar. In view of the recent car bomb explosions and the announcements by MEND that they will be starting their suicide bombing campaign soon, I've written to Geri and authorised him to instruct Pointed security to conduct full body searches. These will be carried out discretely behind the same sort of curtains that add so much to our vehicle security. Pointed security operatives have been instructed to always use new disposable gloves for each search, to keep fingernails well trimmed, have a plentiful supply of vaseline and to avoid picking their noses when on body search detail. I've received reports that some staff have been trying to smuggle in females, which we all know is terribly dangerous and irresponsible. The body search should take care of this issue. Just in case there are still some unreformed ex SAW people out there, I've authorised stewards to carry out a search of all personal belongings and report to me if they find that anyone is harbouring dildoes. These could be terribly dangerous and packed with dynamite.
I'd like to remond all that HESS have recommended the wearing of PSE to the bar, because of the danger of some people becoming frolicksome and throwing objects, or ceiling fans becoming detached. Please remember to wear hard-hats and safety boots, instead of baseball hats and sneakers. Hard hats may, of course, be removed in the dining room.
Enjoy the party in our tropical paradise one and all. A Very Happy New Year.
Nigerian In Law
chc,
I'm trading in my dildo for a Greenpeace membership card. Bristow don't allow them on their premises you know
Now where do I sign up ? I love milkshakes
Cheers,
NEO
I'm trading in my dildo for a Greenpeace membership card. Bristow don't allow them on their premises you know
Now where do I sign up ? I love milkshakes
Cheers,
NEO
NEO,
You use a blender to make your shakes or do them by hand?
You use a blender to make your shakes or do them by hand?
Nigerian In Law
Sas,
Like yours, mine are all in the wrist action
They've been sought after for many years due to the way they just hit the back of the consumer's throat
I see you've been spreading alarm and despondency on the Mil Aircrew board; not going to try that here I hope ?
Why not channel all that pent up aggression and rejoin your old comrades at Bristow ? Who knows, they might even send you to Mauritania so you can help your former brother in arms purge the place
Have a REALLY Nice New Year
Cheers,
NEO
Like yours, mine are all in the wrist action
They've been sought after for many years due to the way they just hit the back of the consumer's throat I see you've been spreading alarm and despondency on the Mil Aircrew board; not going to try that here I hope ?
Why not channel all that pent up aggression and rejoin your old comrades at Bristow ? Who knows, they might even send you to Mauritania so you can help your former brother in arms purge the place
Have a REALLY Nice New Year
Cheers,
NEO
Purge?
Sacre' Bleu! Merde!
Where is Madame Guillotine when you need her?
Indeed....hope all you folks in Nigeria have a good New Years...and have recovered from the annual company funded Christmas Bash!
I can just visualize NEO with the pull string in his mitts and wearing a nice conical hat (Dunce Caps we called them in school). No insult intended mind you NEO...simply trying to ensure a commonality of defintion amongst our many readers.
Sacre' Bleu! Merde!
Where is Madame Guillotine when you need her?
Indeed....hope all you folks in Nigeria have a good New Years...and have recovered from the annual company funded Christmas Bash!
I can just visualize NEO with the pull string in his mitts and wearing a nice conical hat (Dunce Caps we called them in school). No insult intended mind you NEO...simply trying to ensure a commonality of defintion amongst our many readers.
Nigerian In Law
To All Nigeria Based Ppruners
I wish you all, whatever race, religion, colour, nationality or any other politically correct term a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.
In other words, I hope EVERYONE will please be safe and may your wishes and resolutions all come true
Off down the pub.
NEO
In other words, I hope EVERYONE will please be safe and may your wishes and resolutions all come true
Off down the pub.
NEO
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Have A Wild New Year With Caverton
To celebrate the imminent arrival of our Jumbolino daddy and I hope any of you in Lagos will come and celebrate the arrival of New Yaer with us at Victry Bar in Ikeja. The walls won't be the only thing is blue . All drinks is free and no soft drinks may be consumed on premises, except as mixers. For free admission just make sure you bring one fine, pretty girl partner, for free bar card next time you come, bring 2 fine, pretty girl patner with very fine nyash and for free drink for next 6 months, bring 2 fine pretty girl patner with beautiful, fine african nyash 
. For lifetime free drinks gring one very fine, very huge, fat brown envelope. There will be many bottles of fine african champagne popped at the midnight hour. After the New Year has been seen in there will be special pointy shoe competition and the winner will be presented with the excess balance of fine, pretty partners and a ticket for honeyman sweet in Eko Sweets hotel.
Mr SAS, forget this Mauritania things. For long I have been reading your many fine postings and, despite your advanced years and lack of experience with correct use of pointy shoe, and daddy and I want you to come back to our fine country and hep us get the Center of Aviation Excellence back in the Center of things again. You are welcome to return to Nigeria and daddy will fix this burst tire for you once and for all
A Very Happy, Excellent African 2007 to you all from the daddy and me at the Center of Excellence
. All drinks is free and no soft drinks may be consumed on premises, except as mixers. For free admission just make sure you bring one fine, pretty girl partner, for free bar card next time you come, bring 2 fine, pretty girl patner with very fine nyash and for free drink for next 6 months, bring 2 fine pretty girl patner with beautiful, fine african nyash . For lifetime free drinks gring one very fine, very huge, fat brown envelope. There will be many bottles of fine african champagne popped at the midnight hour. After the New Year has been seen in there will be special pointy shoe competition and the winner will be presented with the excess balance of fine, pretty partners and a ticket for honeyman sweet in Eko Sweets hotel.Mr SAS, forget this Mauritania things. For long I have been reading your many fine postings and, despite your advanced years and lack of experience with correct use of pointy shoe, and daddy and I want you to come back to our fine country and hep us get the Center of Aviation Excellence back in the Center of things again. You are welcome to return to Nigeria and daddy will fix this burst tire for you once and for all
A Very Happy, Excellent African 2007 to you all from the daddy and me at the Center of Excellence
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Very sensible of BHNL management to limit the upsurge of such free thought and seditious action.
Happy new year to all of you and safe flying.
UL
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Happy New Year
Hope it's not too late, but there were a lot of issues to discuss with Higher management about whether a New Year party or wishing New Year greetings could in any way be construed as breaching the code of business integrity. It's possible that a party could imply that we want something from you to which we're not entitled under your contract of employment (which makes no reference to free parties in the benefits section). This could then expose you to prosecution by the IRS as an undeclared benefit.
Contrary to any mis-representation by outlaws, expatriate or otherwise, we have never approved of dildoes, but contributions to Greenpeace (as a registered charity) even though it's a Dutch (gay marriages - of which we do not approve) do not automatically bar one from employment with our fine company and may, indeed qualify under certain jurisdictions qualify as a deductible expense. Irregardless of whether one regards this as something which could be regarded as a breach of the code, we do not regard it as such and are confident that any court in Texas, irregardless of any previous precedent, would concur with our observations.
We plan to have a fine non-denominational Christmas and New Year party for all our Nigerian employees in Texas sometime later in the Year, once the legal and accounting implications have been fully investigated and we are sure that we will suffer no liability. Signed........management
Contrary to any mis-representation by outlaws, expatriate or otherwise, we have never approved of dildoes, but contributions to Greenpeace (as a registered charity) even though it's a Dutch (gay marriages - of which we do not approve) do not automatically bar one from employment with our fine company and may, indeed qualify under certain jurisdictions qualify as a deductible expense. Irregardless of whether one regards this as something which could be regarded as a breach of the code, we do not regard it as such and are confident that any court in Texas, irregardless of any previous precedent, would concur with our observations.
We plan to have a fine non-denominational Christmas and New Year party for all our Nigerian employees in Texas sometime later in the Year, once the legal and accounting implications have been fully investigated and we are sure that we will suffer no liability. Signed........management
