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What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)

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What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)

Old 8th Dec 2006, 23:18
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That's okay then!

That fact of life had slipped my mind. Nothing tasted better than a cold one on some loser's card! Well, that used to be when we thought people who left were losers. Now it might be the other way around!

Jeez! Some of these guys really don't have much time for Bristow! Personally, it is so that I probably won't be back but don't take that to mean that I am really down on my former employer.

I had some fun there, especially poking the stick through the bars of the cage they kept that pointy-headed German Experimental Test Pilot in! A clown like me would get in trouble wherever he goes; it is just a matter of time and circumstance. Of course spending most of one's time locked up in a compound doesn't help.

Put it this way: IF SASless and Musket33 come back then I shall probably not be far behind. And next week the headlines will be about Bush visiting Teheran. You can trust me, I'm a pilot.
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Old 8th Dec 2006, 23:54
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Aaah, Yes.

I know what you mean there. I am adamant that I won't go back there (even if they will take me), but then again, I had a good time and got a lot of experience there, both good and not.
They were an OK lot to work for, but reading the posts it seems that we got out at the right time.

I just wonder what it is that keeps them from the realisation that they are no longer living in the world of "like it or lump it" and that they need to akgnowledge that the people who earn their dividends for them need to be included in the loop these days.

I am happy where I am now, so I can afford to read the posts from a comfortable point of view and think back to Osubi, Warri RA and BRC with just the requisite amount of wistfulness.

By the way, congratulationd on the new ticket!!
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Old 9th Dec 2006, 05:37
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Nigeria SAR

unstable load,

Yesm several oil companies, worried at the total lack of any credible SAR organisation in Nigeria, are looking at setting up their own SAR organisation for the offshore areas. The most likely contenders look to be S92/EC225/AW139.
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Old 9th Dec 2006, 11:50
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Tokunbo,

WHO will do the job? Undecisive dark ages Bristow, or modern day, new aircraft but dangerous accomodation CHC?

My main worry is that it will degenerate into the "expendables" whose job it has become to go and evacuate a load of guys from flowstation X so the helicopter companies don't need to be seen as the ones hauling armed troops and running the risk of getting shot at or hijacked for their troubles.

I know, I know, it will be one of the operator's aircraft being shot at/kidnapped but as a joint effort it will probably be non identifying as far as company colours go so as far as the average joe is concerned it will not be BHN/CHC/PAAN.
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Old 9th Dec 2006, 12:55
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It is a mystery!

Aviation seems, so often, simply to use 'past it' pilots as managers. It is as if a big store, say, would let the guy running the elevator advance to running the store after 20 years on the job. Well of course he would have to give the Boss a big 'Hello!' every morning for 20 years as if he meant it. Too, all the little people would naively think that one of 'them' would be such a lucky catch as Manager, when instead he mutates into a self-centered bastard overnight! How can that be?

One of these days I hope to find out. I could have all my 'friends' in one after the other to whine and grovel before my desk and then be sent away empty-handed. Yes, life should then be pretty good, not having to act like some sort of nice guy (a/k/a LOSER) all the time.

Not everyone who gets a smidgeon of power acts that way, just 99% of them. I should be an exception?

As someone once pointed out to me: It is not so that everyone in aviation is an S.O.B. but all the S.O.B.s seem to be in aviation!
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Old 9th Dec 2006, 13:25
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Chuks,

Your success as a consultant is assured should you return on an operational visit. As the definition states....consultants being people who can read and/or think faster than the client....you are well suited for the job. Granted....most of the gate guards at the BRC qualify when compared to the management in regard to that criteria. They at least can figure out the connection between a car horn sounding and the need to open the gate.
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Old 9th Dec 2006, 13:57
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Devil Don't Be Shy

Chuks,

Come on, don't keep us in suspense Name names !!

NEO
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Old 9th Dec 2006, 15:01
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You first, Sunshine!

It says right here on this can of Pprunes that one isn't allowed to name names.

Anyway, I have screwed up a few times myself, so that one of the names named might just name me! Then where would we be? Stuck here in the stocks with the rabble all chucking rotten cabbages; I think not!

I think we can safely stick with just the general outline of an idea ('Managers tend to be self-centered.') and let everyone connect the dots themselves. That's like the difference between a love story and a porno flick. We can all have our own private movie running in our head without having to stare at some stranger's hairy nyash.

It is also sometimes the case that just after you finish flambéing some creep from your past you discover that either you need him, he is your new boss or else that it was someone else entirely who shafted you.

'Aviation Consultant,' I like the sound of that! Most ways out of the present trouble will not work; why not get paid good money to suggest a few?

I remember once showing up back at my old place of work to notice a new flagpole and a very nicely painted old generator shed, bright white above and then grey from about one metre down to the ground.

It was obvious that a military mind had been at work there and it turned out that, yes, a grey eminence from Eket, a retired 'lifer,' had been hired as an Aviation Consultant to transform the operation. I just had to ask, 'How did that work out?' as if I couldn't guess, when I was directed to the flagpole and the generator shed. So, hey, I could do that!

See, if we have a flagpole then we can have parades and hand out Air Medals while everyone stands at attention and sweats their balls off; that beats a pay raise any day. Jeez, I better stop now before someone else here steals all my great ideas and beats me to my dream job!
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Old 10th Dec 2006, 12:59
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UL,
Actually, at the moment, CHC's not in its proposed dangerous new accomodation, and the move now looks to be moving a couple of years further down the road.
The stated SAR proposal is for just that, mainly offshore SAR as more deepwater fields are being prospected and developed in Nigeria. With its present record on innovation, more willingness to operate new aircraft in Nigeria and winning the SAR contract in UK, CHC would seem to be the more likely contender. Their management has refused to allow helicopters to go to landing sites where there is perceived danger, so maybe they would be a better choice for the pilots also.
Bristow has so far, done nothing to either keep the pilots it already has in Nigeria, or to attract new ones there and with their past and present track record that seems likely to continue for the forseeable future.
The way numbers are falling, chuks, maybe you'll be able to take over from the aforementioned, pointy-headed, supposedly former TP. The BRC has been totally modernised with a sweet new barmaid . Actually, the way CHC is introducing new aircraft into Nigeria, they'd probably welcome you
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Old 10th Dec 2006, 13:41
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Thumbs down Death Road Will Save Much Money

So Mlle Baird think she will keep everyone in Port Harcourt very happy by saying she is very positive about the new death camp and that CHC will listen to all pilots and engineers. I'm sure she is positive only about the money CHC will save, but this may be very expensive because of the moneies she will have to spend to replace all the people who will leave. If the company is so willing to listen, why don't they imeediately give up their very stupid and stubborn effort to force eveyone to move to a very dangerous area. It may be a beautiful camp, but unless all is compeletly flatten and rebuild, will still be horrible, small houses. Eben if all is rebuilt, it will alwasy be on Death Row.
Me. I want never to go there. My advise, if you think to join CHC, refuse Nigeria until they will listen to what their staffs have to say. Don't be mislead by their lousy propaganda about what a paradise they will have here in the tropical paradise.
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Old 10th Dec 2006, 15:14
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Whoah!

So what happened to Aloysius, then? Or it is just him in a wig with a pair of falsies? Your average customer wouldn't be able to tell the difference after a few Gulders, I think.

Not to be unfair, Mr Pointy-head has a genuine certificate from a Test Pilot School he would probably be happy to show you. Just be careful handling it because the ink is still wet. I was so rude as to suggest that 'he da man,' if we ever decided to get into the development of new aircraft but that I might know a bit more about operational flying. As people given a little bit of authority will do, he became quite upset and things went down-hill from there. As it was, I had developed some noticeable tics, such as trying to hid under the nearest table everytime a 'danfo' would backfire out there on Latif Salami Street so that I thought it might be best to leave.

Now, of course, I want to come back, but subject to strict conditions.

First I need to see SASless and Musket33 back. Like canaries down a coal mine they should show that conditions are safe enough for me. After all, with this new JAR licence I have something to live for; it's not like the old days.

Next, I don't want to work, as such, but to be a consultant. The penny finally dropped when I noticed that the harder one works the less one is valued. Don't ask me why that is so but it is. There is no sense swimming against the tide; it is better to sit there on the side of the stream writing reports, eh? Surely I am not the only one to have noticed someone waft through, neatly dressed with an escort, 'here from headquarters - he's a CONSULTANT and he's here to help us.' Funny thing but I never noticed any help. Maybe I misheard 'help himself' for 'help us.' It's that tinnitus again.

The rest you can imagine: First Class tickets with miles, secure accommodation, 2/2 (2 weeks on/2 months off), etc., etc.

The more outrageous the demands the more likely I am to come up with something, I think. The only problem is that I am not a total incompetent. As close to it as makes no difference, some of you may mutter, but still pretty far from what it takes to be a consultant. I shall keep you posted on my progress while I watch the Company tracker chip returns from my two canaries.
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Old 10th Dec 2006, 15:37
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Chuks old bean,

Canaries me and Musket are not.....sage old Owls more like. We saw the fallacy of being bossed by former British Army Majors who could not make it in the Mob but who considered themselves excellent Man Managers none the less.

With your new found wisdom and knowledge, courtesy of that JAR thingy,you can now begin to be as independent as the two of us were and are.

Pointed headed Square Heads....what a sight that must be...and Ruperts alike just cannot handle independence amongst the working staff. One can bet...being reminded of that, no matter how, really tweaks their beak!

However, I fail to believe they would pay good money to have it done by a consultant that was a former employee....after all....Daddy knows best is their refuge of last result when logic and reason refute their position and decisions.
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Old 10th Dec 2006, 17:16
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Follow the money!

Dear SASless,

Pay attention now!

I said I wanted to come back as a Consultant. I didn't say for whom! It is not as if I wanted my old job back or anything. I betcha I could do an audit for starters.

Yes, according to my screen you are nowhere near the Delta. What's up? Get a move on there, please. It's far too cold and dark here in Germany; I need some sunshine without having to pay for that.

Well, without you two perhaps it shall be Hassi Messaoud after all, and having to do some work. Flying a Twin Otter is heavy lifting compared to a Dornier 328. We used to moan when the Dornier's cockpit got up to 25°; in the Twotter you have to open both windows to get it down to 30°.
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Old 10th Dec 2006, 17:32
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Devil Chc, Yes - Bristow, No!

mayotte,
Yes, but ask yourself how many of the posts here are from Britow people, presently on tour in Nigeria? Very few I'd think, because most of them have limited or no, internet access. CHC have internet access from everywhere, hangar, staff house and in all their accomodation. Sure, it's not always the best, but this is Nigeria, and all of them have internet access almost all of the time, making it easy to keep in touch with family and friends when they're here.
From talking to Bristow people in PH, I gather most of them have almost nothing and that, combined with a collective insult to all staff in PH from their deputy MD, is making it very difficult for them to get any but 'pressed men' to go to PH even for a week. In Lagos there's internet in the BRC (though not wireless internet in every room like CHC have), central messing which costs less than the (pathetic) daily allowance and a lunch provided at work. In PH there's internet only for those staying in the hotel, but there the food costs about twice the daily allowance, so every rig they go to can now be heard being asked for 'refreshments for the crew'. In the Orlando Court there are good rooms, but no alchohol permitted and no internet access. In the hotel, food nobody can afford and internet access slower than a Lagos 'go-slow'. At Dodgy Woji - who knows - I'm told there's no internet, but don't know about food. At the NAF Base, internet access for the priviledged few (the management).
So what I'd say is, yes, avoid Nigeria, but if you have to go, join CHC. Good money, good roster already in place, meals provided, good communication with the outside world, good benefits, a known infrastructure and paid in a currency much more stable than the falling US$. Bristow; falling money (unless you live in the USA or a country whose currency is directly tied to the US$), unknown roster, unknown benefits, unable to afford to eat and little or no communication with the outside world.
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Old 11th Dec 2006, 18:53
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Devil Cheap Or What?

Now I heard even more about how cheap Bristow have become. Not only are their pilots begging for food from every rig they visit, but they have an annual allowance for uniform which exactly fits in with this image. CHC pilots get uniforms (and 'freebies') from Vancouver, like trousers, nice CHC shirts with company logo, trousers and an annual allowance for shoes and sunglasses. For those who can't visit Vancouver, they get an issue of shirts and trousers made locally by a tailor. Now look at Bristow - they have an annual allowance of N15,000 (less than US$120) for everything and nothing for shoes or sunglasses. So would you rather look cool in a shirt with the 'flying chicken' logo, tailor made trousers, new shoes and a cool pair of shades as you walk out to your almost-new S76C+; or have a cheap polyester shirt, the cheapest trousers you can find while out on leave, 'Walmart' shoes and Hong Kong designer look-alike shades as you slouch out to your worn-out, recycled S76A++? These would probably perfectly match your company-issue orange Elno headset (made from recycled rampies' ear defenders) whilst your CHC counterpart strolls out to his aircraft with his genuine Revos and Bose ANC headset.
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Old 11th Dec 2006, 19:38
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MamaPut

Is responding to your own posts the first sign of insanity - or the second?
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Old 11th Dec 2006, 20:03
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Aw, c'mon!

When I worked for Bristow I used to spend a bit extra to get shirts from Aberdeen, a belt and pants from Germany (pants would be 'Hose,' pronounced 'hoser' of course, because 'Experimental Test Pilot' wouldn't fit on the little label), shoes from wherever, no sunglasses because sunglasses are for wusses (You ever see John Wayne wearing sunglasses in 'She Wore a Yellow Ribbon,' for example? I rest my case.) and then I would try not to worry too much about how much this cost compared to how much I was being paid, as in 'not very much' compared to 'quite enough, thanks very much.' I should walk around looking like a bum just to save $100?

They did give me free bars every time I asked but maybe that was just so that I would go away and stop bothering them. It was bad enough having to read my memos without having a face-to-face encounter, I fear.

What are we going to read here next, that working for Bristow causes cancer? In my experience, each company went and down relative to the other. Even Pan African would shift a bit on its terms and conditions, now and then. Well, years later, of course!

Any aviation professional worth his salt should be able to weasel on his expenses enough to kit himself out right snappy, I would hope.
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Old 12th Dec 2006, 04:41
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sox,
Not responding to it, just adding more rumours I picked up as to how far behind Bristow are in Nigeria.
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Old 12th Dec 2006, 08:46
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Question Is The Allowance Enough ?

I can't remember a flight on the North Sea where the crew didn't get catered by their destination. It was automatic. In fact part of the exchange of information (weather, payload etc) was food requirements. Is there a difference between a rig in Nigeria and one in the East Shetland Basin ?

Matalan do pilot type shirts, perfectly adequate for working in hotter climes. £ 6.75 each. Black trousers cost £ 8.00 a pair. Where's my calculator ? Logo embroidery would be extra of course...........

NEO
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Old 12th Dec 2006, 12:58
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NEO,

Don't be silly.....yes, as you very well know....there is a great difference between the catering standards between the North Sea and Nigeria.

Perhaps you have lingered too long in the White Man's Grave and have forgotten what the real world is about.

The fried egg and sausage with kerosene spread sandwich ala Nigeria....and the smoked salmon sandwiches from the North Sea are more than a bit different.

When the rigs arrive in Nigeria with their catering supplies.....as when the Noble rigs arrived....the food was "great". A few months later when the local catering took over....down hill it went unless one could stop and eat in the Expat dining room.

Please don't suggest the food is just as good in Nigeria as it is on the North Sea.
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