What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)
Actually more like the cigar smoking trusty in "Cool Hand Luke"!
Nigerian In Law
Too Much History
No such thing as trust anymore. Maybe like many a lifer my past means I cannot be left unsupervised in case I relapse ? 
Or more likely the new way is to micro manage every single thing to make sure nobody steals the staples, Sellotape or God Forbid bad thing, the A4 copier paper......... 
Forget about Shawshank or Cool Hand, think about Sergeant Schultz in Hogan's Heroes (for those old enough to remember)
chuks, how bad Africa looks would depend on where you are don't you think ?
NEO
Or more likely the new way is to micro manage every single thing to make sure nobody steals the staples, Sellotape or God Forbid bad thing, the A4 copier paper......... Forget about Shawshank or Cool Hand, think about Sergeant Schultz in Hogan's Heroes (for those old enough to remember)
chuks, how bad Africa looks would depend on where you are don't you think ?
NEO
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The challenge is the thing!
You want Sellotape? I must have a roll or two left from my career peak as Deputy (Acting) Chief Pilot Lagos Fixed-wing, "borrowed", and that right from under the nose of Guess-Who. Hah! (I used to have to itemise how many bog rolls and light bulbs we got through each week, if memory serves.)
My fave memory of that time was Godwin C. Jonah, Chief Executive of Goddymore Enterprises PLC LTD appearing in my office one week to get naira for a case of Peak milk. I crossed his greasy palm with silver and off he went, leaving a thin trail of slime.
Next week he was back with a tale of woe. One of "de big ogahs" was very, very angry and this was MY fault. Yes, "de big ogah" had been given a cup of Nescafé with powdered milk, not deluxe Peak milk so that he "shouted" poor Godwin. Now Godwin needed more naira for Peak milk, a detail I had overlooked.
"But, wait a minute... didn't you just get money last week for a case of Peak milk? How could you use up a whole case of milk in just one week?"
"Ah! No, sah! De Peak milk be fo' US! De powdah milk be fo' de passenjah!"
"Godwin, if you are so thick that you don't know to give your "ogahs" Peak milk then I really cannot help you! Give them Peak milk or else! Now get out of my office! Go, and never return until you run out of Peak milk!"
Slither, slither, off he went... Peace was restored as I began to understand just why this fellow upstairs was so insistent upon knowing each detail.
Staples, well, you obviously never figured out that you took them out of the various Company hand-outs, hammered them straight and stuck them together for re-use. Weren't you told to do that? How strange...
I don't know about "The Shawshank Redemption" at all. If I had to put him in some movie role I guess I would have NEO down for "Dog Boy" from "Cool Hand Luke", just for how I remember him with his "Bell 419".
My fave memory of that time was Godwin C. Jonah, Chief Executive of Goddymore Enterprises PLC LTD appearing in my office one week to get naira for a case of Peak milk. I crossed his greasy palm with silver and off he went, leaving a thin trail of slime.
Next week he was back with a tale of woe. One of "de big ogahs" was very, very angry and this was MY fault. Yes, "de big ogah" had been given a cup of Nescafé with powdered milk, not deluxe Peak milk so that he "shouted" poor Godwin. Now Godwin needed more naira for Peak milk, a detail I had overlooked.
"But, wait a minute... didn't you just get money last week for a case of Peak milk? How could you use up a whole case of milk in just one week?"
"Ah! No, sah! De Peak milk be fo' US! De powdah milk be fo' de passenjah!"
"Godwin, if you are so thick that you don't know to give your "ogahs" Peak milk then I really cannot help you! Give them Peak milk or else! Now get out of my office! Go, and never return until you run out of Peak milk!"
Slither, slither, off he went... Peace was restored as I began to understand just why this fellow upstairs was so insistent upon knowing each detail.
Staples, well, you obviously never figured out that you took them out of the various Company hand-outs, hammered them straight and stuck them together for re-use. Weren't you told to do that? How strange...
I don't know about "The Shawshank Redemption" at all. If I had to put him in some movie role I guess I would have NEO down for "Dog Boy" from "Cool Hand Luke", just for how I remember him with his "Bell 419".
I Try To Be Good !!
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Name That Character
Most people who know NEO would think of Del Boy in Only Fools & Horses....... 
Last edited by Good Man In Africa; 15th May 2008 at 06:00. Reason: Typo
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Closer...
How about Arthur Daley? I cannot remember the show he was in but I think that is a bit closer, even. Would you buy a used generator from this man?
You know the way I met one of my managers there in Lagos? I reached in my pocket for my wallet and found we were shaking hands... That was Pan African, though.
You know the way I met one of my managers there in Lagos? I reached in my pocket for my wallet and found we were shaking hands... That was Pan African, though.
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Seinfeld?
His show was cancelled too, eh? Boo-hoo...
You might want to re-think that "Pope" business, since there were some distinctly dodgy ones, including some from the Borgia family. You may have made a Freudian slip there.
There is no way, really, that most of what goes on in Nigeria could ever be put on TV. Well, maybe Jerry Springer...
When is your book coming out? I need to reserve a copy.
You might want to re-think that "Pope" business, since there were some distinctly dodgy ones, including some from the Borgia family. You may have made a Freudian slip there.
There is no way, really, that most of what goes on in Nigeria could ever be put on TV. Well, maybe Jerry Springer...
When is your book coming out? I need to reserve a copy.
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No concrete news on Agbami yet then eh? What are the odds on CHC having self-destructed in Nigeria defore the result is announced?
Yes am interested in agbami and please would u know what level the facility has reached iin construction?Nigerian In Law
A Good Rumour
Agbami is going to a Caverton/Stillwater consortium 
What is the name of this forum again ??
What is going on in Eket ? I hear they've got some big trouble.
As if Darrel's Hotel wasn't enough......
NEO
What is the name of this forum again ?? What is going on in Eket ? I hear they've got some big trouble.
As if Darrel's Hotel wasn't enough......NEO
we've done it before and we'll do it again n again.Nigerian In Law
onwings,
Careful, my Mum told me that self praise is no recommendation
Who are the "we" you are so cool about anyway ? Both major operators are doing the job at the moment.
NEO
Careful, my Mum told me that self praise is no recommendation
Who are the "we" you are so cool about anyway ? Both major operators are doing the job at the moment.NEO
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Rumor has it that they're just going to award it based on the alphabet so it'll definitely go to Aero or Bristow or CHC .......... or all of the preceding
NEO,
You're absolutely right about onwing's comments. At the moment Aero are flying to it out of Port Harcourt, but Bristow are doing the real long haul flights out of Lagos with 76C++. CHC have sent some guys off to France to pick up their new EC225s which are (maybe) leaving next month, but Bristow has also already trained some engineers and has pilots away training on S92. A number of engineers have left CHC because they're not happy about being passed over for EC225 courses and quite a number of pilots are unhappy about the number of pilots recruited straight from the French military because they're been flying them there - however, I'm sure the new guys with no experience of Nigeria are gonna just love it over here
What's all this about trouble at Eket? I've heard the Chief Pilot there was fired. Who did he upset? Is this old Bristow re-emerging
NEO,
You're absolutely right about onwing's comments. At the moment Aero are flying to it out of Port Harcourt, but Bristow are doing the real long haul flights out of Lagos with 76C++. CHC have sent some guys off to France to pick up their new EC225s which are (maybe) leaving next month, but Bristow has also already trained some engineers and has pilots away training on S92. A number of engineers have left CHC because they're not happy about being passed over for EC225 courses and quite a number of pilots are unhappy about the number of pilots recruited straight from the French military because they're been flying them there - however, I'm sure the new guys with no experience of Nigeria are gonna just love it over here
What's all this about trouble at Eket? I've heard the Chief Pilot there was fired. Who did he upset? Is this old Bristow re-emerging
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NEO,
I think you look like Bruce Forsyth, except his nose isn't as big as yours!! Of course he's got more hair (though that may be due to him being able to afford an expensive wig maker)
You're quite right of course, Caverton will be getting the Agbami with all those expensive S92 Jumboliners they have on order. Rumour has it that both 212 man and Doc have been made offers they can't refuse to come back and head up Caverton's training team at huge ££££££ paid into a Diamond Bank account in the Cayman Isles almost every month and because 212 likes his fast cars he's getting a Daihatsi GT coupe as his company car. Doc, as befitting his larger size will of course, have a Lincoln Town Car. They, like Chuks will be wearing very fetching pink shirts with the button holes edged in violet
I think you look like Bruce Forsyth, except his nose isn't as big as yours!! Of course he's got more hair (though that may be due to him being able to afford an expensive wig maker
)You're quite right of course, Caverton will be getting the Agbami with all those expensive S92 Jumboliners they have on order. Rumour has it that both 212 man and Doc have been made offers they can't refuse to come back and head up Caverton's training team at huge ££££££ paid into a Diamond Bank account in the Cayman Isles almost every month and because 212 likes his fast cars he's getting a Daihatsi GT coupe as his company car. Doc, as befitting his larger size will of course, have a Lincoln Town Car. They, like Chuks will be wearing very fetching pink shirts with the button holes edged in violet
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Whoah!
What is this! I get a Bajaj and Doc gets a Town Car? Oh well, guess which one the robbers will go for...
I have been watching my e-mails like a cat outside a mousehole but so far, nothing. How can this very toppest of top operators do without me? Has something gone missing in the post?
Not to make fun of someone with a physical deformity but I know someone who would look like a haystack if his hair was proportionate but, hey, the guy definitely can tell which way the wind is blowing, there is that.
I have been watching my e-mails like a cat outside a mousehole but so far, nothing. How can this very toppest of top operators do without me? Has something gone missing in the post?
Not to make fun of someone with a physical deformity but I know someone who would look like a haystack if his hair was proportionate but, hey, the guy definitely can tell which way the wind is blowing, there is that.
Tokunbo,
You can’t go and upset Chuks like this with all those false rumours, they all will get Town Cars because that’s one of the only cars their standard issue pointy shoes will fit in.
So Chuks just hold your breath waiting for that email and everything will become clear after 5 minutes …
Greetings,
Finalchecksplease
You can’t go and upset Chuks like this with all those false rumours, they all will get Town Cars because that’s one of the only cars their standard issue pointy shoes will fit in.
So Chuks just hold your breath waiting for that email and everything will become clear after 5 minutes …
Greetings,
Finalchecksplease
Rumour has it that both 212 man and Doc have been made offers they can't refuse to come back and head up Caverton's training team at huge ££££££ paid into a Diamond Bank account in the Cayman Isles almost every month
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Town Car!
I'm not sure I like the sound of dis very town car. I'd prefer the Merc and the chateau in France... Uh oh, someone already took that package!
Maybe I'll be content as Chuck's driver... Uh oh, on second thoughts I might just as well pin a target to my head (I know they'd miss and hit me in the Nyyyaash).
Maybe safer to just accept the inevitable and join the Rumplestiltskin brigade!
Cheers,
Doc
Maybe I'll be content as Chuck's driver... Uh oh, on second thoughts I might just as well pin a target to my head (I know they'd miss and hit me in the Nyyyaash).
Maybe safer to just accept the inevitable and join the Rumplestiltskin brigade!
Cheers,
Doc
I know they'd miss and hit me in the Nyyyaash
SpeedbirdXK8 (now there's a cryptic name - who do you fly for and what do you drive?) You could be right, but I'd be very surprised. No offshore industry and last 61 involvement was UN.