Airforce/Pilot Jokes, please
 

I have a screenplay out about an airline pilot who's ex-Airforce. Right now I'm doing a minor rewrite and I'd like to bring in a preferably short Airforce/ Pilot joke.
Anybody out there to help??
Thanks.

A fighter pilot goes to a bar after a good days flying. Whilst there he meets a young, attractive and available lady. She is charmed by his tales of aerial combat, high speed flight, and death defying feats. The inevitable happens and they slip away to somewhere more comfortable for an evenings intimate entertainment.
Much later that night the pilot drives home to his long suffering wife. On the way he puts on his oxygen mask and draws the straps up as tight as they will go. When he gets home he removes the mask and bravely enters the house. Immediately he tells the wife exactly and honestly what he has been up to that evening. She replies: "Do not lie to me, I can see you have been flying that damned airplane yet again".

Picture this, Berlin, 1952, airfield real busy. American pilot comes on the radio requesting taxi instructions to the terminal. Controller: 'Have you not been here before?'
Pilot: 'Yes, once in 1945, but I didn't land'

It was the time of the Soviet Union, communism and control were natural aspects of the everyday life. One day, there was a Tupolev 154 on short final to Oslo Airport.
There is a big field of acres close to the runway, and the tower controller alerted the pilots:
"Check the farmers on the right side of the runway"
"They are all working" the soviet pilot responded with a clear Russian accent.

Hi, slam_dunk , thanks a lot, I'll fit at least one of them in...
Josey