A guy walks into the bar carrying a shotgun in one hand, a bucket of shit in the other, and with a cat sitting on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender proceeds to pour the man a drink. With that the man throws back his drink, cocks his shotgun, blows away the bucket of shit, which scares the cat off his shoulder, and finally chases the cat out of the bar never to return.
Five days later the man returns; a shotgun in one hand, a bucket of shit in the other, and a cat upon his shoulder. He proceeds to walk up to the bar and orders himself a drink. The bartender, obviously annoyed at having to spend several hours cleaning up all the shit from the man's last visit, interrupted bitterly, "What the hell do you want?"
"I'd like a drink", responded the man.
"No way, not after your last escapade", snapped the bartender.
"But bartender, I'm in training", replied the man.
"Training! Training for what?", questioned the bartender.
"I'm training to be an airline pilot", responded the man.
"An airplane pilot?", questioned the bartender, "How do you figure?"
"Well", added the man, "I go on a trip, I do a little drinking, I shoot a little shit, I chase a little pussy, and then I take five days off!"