Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
 

Dear Mr "I want to be a Pilot but don't really want to pay for it":

Take the Roald Dahl classic and replace:

'Charlie' with your 'Name'
'Chocolate Factory' with 'British Airways'
'Golden Ticket' with 'Sponsership'
'Mr Slugworth' with the 'proper job'
'The Oompa Loompas' with the 'CAA'

It makes a truly fascinating read,

*please note you cannot actually get sponsership from a chocolate bar even though the odds in real life are similar to the story. Nor do the CAA regulate the high quality of the chocolate in Mr Wonka's river*

We could do a similar thing with the Wizard of Oz, replacing

'following the yellow brick road' with 'competing in the MALGUS selection process'