Turbulence, cross wind landing and don't talk to the hand
 

A few things I have on my checklist
- "there can be bumps [turbulence] but nothing to worry about as the plane is tremendously strong and the turbulence [we may experience] won't affect the safety of the airplane at all"
- if there is a cross wind when landing, don't worry about coming in at a 'crab' angle and the plane not pointing straight down the runway - it is a standard technique and I'll correct it just before we touch down
- if I raise my right hand stop talking immediately as I need to either listen to ATC, speak to ATC, or concentrate (or all 3)

Seatbelts and doors. That's it really. And "do you need the loo before we go?" as I said before.

Anything else: as it comes. If they talk when I'm trying to listen to the radio, I say "Shh a minute!". People get the idea pretty quickly. Long drawn out briefings on things they can't do anything about just worry people.

As for keeping hands and feet off controls: passengers are normally more worried about that than I am. If a passenger is so stupid that I need to warn them "don't touch the controls" then I don't want them in the plane.

Kids: obviously more instruction (and an additional responsible adult in the plane).

Hmm, the loo, really.

Do you we ask friends and family before they get in the car if they have been to the loo? I did with the kids, but we are dealing with adults arent we? We will go fly for an hour or whatever I would have thought should do the trick. If they want the loo after 45 minutes they can wet themselves as far as I am concerned. :ok:

Still I guess nothing should surprise us these days.

As my friend's Mum said to the kids as they got out the swimming pool, hurry up its raining, you are going to get wet.

No, because you can stop the car fairly easily. As I said, there's nothing makes someone want the loo more than knowing they can't go. I've had a few uncomfortable passengers saying "are we nearly there yet?", so now I gently remind people how long we'll be in the air before next being near a loo.
Not if I've got to clean the plane:)

The loo is very important. I never fly anywhere without a couple of Tropicana bottles (the 1/3L ones) :)

Quite what one does about a #2 I don't know. For fairly obvious reasons I always depart on a long flight first thing in the morning and this has the side effect of ensuring that the chance of having eaten something dodgy is minimal.

Ah, fond memories of G-BIGJ twenty-five or so years ago coming back from Oostend to Southend in a 30mph+ headwind. After about an hour, the wives in the back asked that exact same question. Eventually, we had almost full throttle on but still seemed to be going backwards in the rather underpowered craft. My flying colleague, a sailor, suggested we might start tacking...
Nice to see BIGJ still going strong in very different colours and I'm sure a new engine configuration.

We will be handing out nappies next. Perhaps we could wire them up to a catheter - or then again imagine the safe briefing that would ensue. Now I must warn you that if the pressure relief valve does not work as we pass through FL35 you may have to manually releive the pressure. The correct technique is .. .. ..

are we really reduced to adults thinking that you can stop in the middle of a 45 minute flight or have all our bladders become that weak. :}

Nah, let the p*** themselves.

Only joking really.

I don't forget that one. I go myself and hint that I'll refuse to take them if they don't go. Most do.

Always thought getting them to manually rehearse things, undoing, (and redoing) the harness, opening the hatches etc, was quite useful.

Never got as far as a crosswind landing though:)

I have never yet found a bottle with a neck of adequate diameter...

Update
 

Tried my new speil this weekend, worked well went through

1) Exits how to open and where to stand, and where not too
2) Belts how to fasten-unfasten and how to tighten
3) What the controls are, Yoke, Rudder juets where they are and a basic what they do.
4) The 'If you feel queasy' speach, and if you wantto go home/had enough let me know.
5) Talking and not talking while i need to listen or respnond

I did the walk around with them as they were very interested in what we were checking, showed how we check the fuel etc, showed how we check things in order etc.. chap was very impressed commented on not even checking the tyres when he got in the car... something to think about.

What i did not do was.

Show them the 'equipement'
Talk about crashing or emergencies

What i did do was, explain everything i was doing.
Translating what i was saying to the tower or what tower was saying to me, also point out where other aircraft would be (from radio TX's) and asked them to look for them (while i did too) explained all the engine noises and the stall horn on landing.... had too explain why it went off on take off too..... errrp:\

All in all very happy PAX shaken hands, pats on back and thank yous.

For a Cessna 172:

"Before we begin, a few safety things. Please keep your seatbelts fastened at all times, there's really nowhere to get up and go during the flight anyway. Your seatbelt works about the same as any car seatbelt you've been using since you were three years old; put the buckles together like so, release them like this.

It's a non-smoking flight; if you must smoke, please step outside. In the event of a fire, the extinguisher is here. Release it like this, pull this pin, point at the base of the fire and squeeze.

Exits are here and here. Pull the silver handle and push out. Don't open doors until the airplane comes to a stop, don't open them in flight, and if you do leave the airplane, go out past the wingtips and don't come back for anything, no matter what you see or hear.

In the event of a water landing, take your shoes off and get clear of the airplane. Don't take anything with you.

If you're not feeling well during the flight, speak up. I'll change altitude or speed, open vents and windows, and do anything else I can to help you feel better. Breathe deeply and look as far away from the airplane, toward the horizon, as possible. Don't close your eyes. Sick sacks are in the seat backs and tucked over head. Open and use like this.

If you see anything that you think needs my attention please sing out. If I don't respond right away, point. You'll have my undivided attention. It may be another airplane, it may be this airplane; whatever you think is important, I think is important. It never hurts to have extra sets of eyes looking.

The airplane is noisy. You're welcome to wear earplugs. Remember to yawn or chew gum as we go up and down.

Please don't touch the flight controls or throttles, here, and here, during the flight. I prefer not to have to break your fingers.

Please don't disturb me during takeoff or landing; these are busy times, and it's best that I focus on the flying.

If you see me reading and muttering to myself during flight, this is normal. It's a bit complicated, so I do have to read the directions.

Our flight attendant will be around shortly after takeoff with cocktails and headphones for the inflight movie. We apologize for the selection this flight; it will be 'Batman Forever.' Please hang on, and have a good flight."

The flight attendant bit is optional, of course. Especially as one doesn't normally have on in the 172...but humor, even schmaltzy humor, goes a long way.

Passengers shouldn't just be briefed on how to open the door, but when and under what circumstances. Just as importantly, they need to know where to go after the airplane comes to a rest.

Reminding the passengers not to open the doors in flight or manipulate the door controls might seem like overkill, but it's not. I have seen curious passengers in light airplanes attempt to, or actually open the door in flight. I once dealt with a passenger who opened the rear doors on a Cessna 207 in flight; the aft of the two slammed open in the slipstream, crushing the empennage. I asked her why possessed her to pull the little red handle (which she actually had to bend out to operate), and she said "I wanted to see what would happen."

I asked her "did you?"

The pilot of that flight, a scenic tour, didn't specifically tell the passenger not to open the door in flight. He didn't see the need. He was wrong.

I think one of the most important things you can tell the passenger on the flight, is what to do if they don't feel well. Another is what to do if they see something amiss. Make sure you're clear.

Use humor where appropriate. It makes passengers feel better. Take all questions passengers may have, seriously.

Remember that while you may be in charge, and you're responsible for the safety of flight, everybody on the flight has the same stake in a safe outcome. Treat their stake seriously. If a passenger has a concern or doesn't feel right about something use the most-conservative-opinion-wins approach. If someone on the flight doesn't feel right about something, don't do it.

You are responsible for the protection of your passengers, and your effort at doing so includes briefing them in order to givem them the instructions necessary to be safe, and to enjoy the flight. Don't limit your self with only what's legally required. Cover the things that the passengers should know in order to have the best flight experience. It might include reminding them to turn off their flash on their camera, so it doesn't reflect off the window. It may reminding them to pop their ears on the way up or down.

The abbreviated briefing is more simple:

"Sit down, strap in, shut up, and hang on."