PPL CVR
 

My posting recounting my commentary of my landing at Old Buckenham (atitude for Speed) has got me thinking... what if we had CVRs?

The mind boggles...

Could you imagine the Kennedy accident...
"I love the view of Marthas Vineyard in the twilight, don't you love?"
"Hey hon, wasn't the blue half of that dial in the middle on top before?"
"Oh yeah and why is that VSI thingy pointing down?"

Tape ends.

Any more?

P1: "Er- hello - er - Grantchester Tower - er - this is - er - Golf - er - er - Alpha - er "
sound of empty carrier
sound of switch (probably tx switch)
P1: "Oh bugg*r, whats our callsign again?"
sound of more oaths
sound of rustling paper
sound of engine noise fading
P2: "That's the mixture not the carb-heat you idiot."
P1: " (expletive)"
sound of engine noise increasing again
P1:" Er - Grantchester Tower - er - er - "
sound of switch
P1: " What are the words again - I've forgotten the sequence...."
P2: " There's a crib on the half-mil map - on that big bit of sea.."
sound of rustling
P1: "Not that one - thats a street-map of bl**dy Bournemouth.."
P2:" Well you packed it - I thought you were doing the navigating..."
P1: " Er - hello Grantchester Tower - er - this is - er - Golf - er - "
P2: " Why are you using 121.5?"
P1: " Oh bugg*r"
sound of engine stopping
P2: " The fuel - pump - try the fuel pump...."
P1: " Is the fuel cock right?"
long silence
P2: " Well I'm going back to the bar. Give me a shout when you're ready to try again. D'you want tea or coffee?
tape ends

I do, and often use it.

Driving home in the car, it gives me the opportunity to play-back the tape, review the flight and any lessons learned from it.

G

VFR pilot on typical British summer's day:

Oh S**T the radio battery's flat! Where's the spare gone?

Oh S**T the GPS battery's flat. Oh S**T OH S**T it's gone REALLY hazy!!!!

Oh S**T the roof's leaking again.

Oh S**T that runway's really short/narrow/sloping/steep/covered in sheep (delete as appropriate)

Remember the guy who had a PTT switch stick while his girlfriend was giving him a BJ in the Glasgow zone and most of the flyers in Scotland got a blow by blow account of the event? If he'd had a CVR he could have played it back to his wife when he got home!



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When the wheels stop turning you're high enuff. CubTrek. To slowly go...

Here's another...

B is trucking back to base in a hired "complex" twin...

Tape begins with a constant horn sound in the background...

R/T "Golf India Tango finals"

"Absolute doddle to land these Pippas"
"Just putting a bit more flap in now"

"Easing back on the throttles as we come in over the numbers"

"Holding off now, letting the aircraft settle onto the tarmac"

"Absolute greaser, didn't feel a thing!"

"Eh?"

BANG, BANG, BANG, CRUNCH, SCREEEEEEEEEEECH, CRUMP

"Bollocks"