Excuses for a bumpy landing?
 

Hiya,

Just wondering what the best and worst excuses people have come up with for pax to explain firmer than normal touchdown?

Mine is "a firm touchdown is actually better than a greaser because less rubber is worn off the tyre since it immediately comes up to speed on contact with the ground and doesn´t skid".

Crap eh?

"That was strange, are you sure you don't weigh more than you said?"

G

Today we have a special offer, 3 landing for the price of one !

At Barton we dont need excuses, the runway has up and down bits we landed on an up bit.

Try these:

In wet weather - "we had to land hard to avoid aquaplaning"

Anytime - "One in every few landings needs to be "firm" to keep the suspension working properly"

My favorite - "There was bad windshear on final approach - it always means a good pilot has a firm landing. A less experienced pilot would probably have crashed"


Edited so it made sense!

[ 13 January 2002: Message edited by: Diplomate ]</p>

.. .. .. wish they would repair the potholes.

"...and after that "flare", as we call it, we enter something called ground effect, which is designed to suck the aeroplane very hard onto the ground. As you saw, the effect is quite pronounced as long as the "flare" is flown skillfully."

"That wasn't a hard landing, it was a greaser. The runway was a bit bumpy though"!

Especially applies during night circuits on R/W 11 at White Waltham....

Not strictly an excuse, but it made me laugh:

Inbound to Heathrow, sitting down the back, we hit the wake of an aircraft which had left the stack ahead of us.

The cabin crew chap who was collecting the empties just said, very casually, "Ooops, watch the kerb..."

Well, I think it's funny :)

"It would appear that they have resurfaced the runway - it's now 4 inches higher than it was!!"

"Just think what you would have paid Disney for that ride"

"Look, I told you before the flight not to fidget when we're landing. NOW look what you've done..." <img src="rolleyes.gif" border="0">

[ 14 January 2002: Message edited by: poetpilot ]</p>

After the second bounce, with full power to start a go-around: "Well, you said you were always nervous about landings. So I thought I'd show you that flying is very safe; if you cock it all up you can go round again and have another shot".

Rather quick thinking on my part, I thought. :)

Just practicing for Gibraltar. <img src="wink.gif" border="0">

[ 14 January 2002: Message edited by: Legalapproach ]</p>

ZLIN526

And 29, and 03, and 25 and 21 and 07.........

WHIRLY

Been there, done it?

DOC

Another one that's not an excuse but very funny. Was in the operations room at White Waltham watching an aircraft land very long on runway 25. Finally came to a stop at the far end of the runway, left the runway and called "G-XXXX clear of the active, can you send the courtesy bus to collect us please." :)

FFF
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Whirly:

How badly did that bend your skids? <img src="tongue.gif" border="0"> <img src="tongue.gif" border="0"> <img src="tongue.gif" border="0"> <img src="tongue.gif" border="0">
............
:) The hardest thing about flying is knowing when to say no. :)

A little far fetched, but it might work...

"Sorry - I used to fly in the arctic and we always bounced on touchdown to check the surface was solid. Force of habit I'm afraid..."

AB. . :)

Engineers must have been playing with the suspension again <img src="eek.gif" border="0"> :) <img src="eek.gif" border="0">

Oh,

Are you supposed to make excuses? I just tell 'em I'm a Cr*p pilot....... .Funny, I only ever take people once...

. .Now there's goes my good rep in one foul swoop

They don't pay me enough for good ones!

Dame! I didn’t realise we were that close

Guy in tower must have got the QFE wrong

Test pilot training! Never leaves you. . :) :) :)

Must get engineering to look at the Autoland again! :) :) :)

I did quite a "firm" landing on my last lesson. . .As my instructor retook the controls, he turned to me asking what went wrong to which I replied

"damn! I knew I should have opened my eyes before we hit the ground" <img src="smile.gif" border="0">

Didn't know there was earthquake activity around here....

Snake in the footwell!