FAQ and misconceptions
 

When people find out that not only do I have a PPL, but also a share in an aircraft, they normally ask the same questions.

Q. Which part of the aircraft is your share then?

A. The wheels, (a random choice), but the other co-sharers loan me their parts for the flight.

Q. Do you have a parachute?

A. No, I haven't clue how to use a parachute, but I do know how to land in a field.

Q. What do you do if the engine stops.

A. Glide

(Its interesting that the average punter has no problem with the concept of a glider and no problem with the idea of a light aircraft, but trying to make the connection between a light aircraft with a stationary prop and a glider is an impossibility).

Q. If the engine stops, would we have to bail out?

A. Do you know how to use a parachute?

#Puts on microlighting hat#

I had a couple of drinks with a non-flying aviation enthusiast yesterday evening. I said I had a share in an aircraft and he asked to come flying with me. No problem, I said. Although it's not a big, fancy machine like wot you're used to at North Weald. Oh, says he... I'm not that interested in microlights.

:hmm:

Q: "Why do you like flying?"
A: "To get off the ground."

Q: "Do you like motorbikes?"
A: "I love them."

After a quick description of the WunderFlymo, he's keen as anything to have a go. :ok:

I've noticed that too, Koilibear (although not the bit about shares).

"It flies because it has wings, not because it has an engine."

"You mean it only has one engine?"

"Yes. How many engines does you car have?"

I shut them up about the parachute by saying "Here, strap this on, and if I shout 'For fugg's sake, jump out!' then for fugg's sake jump out" (OK, I give them a proper briefing really).

I've had the 'share problem' too. Everyone thinks they're very original for asking "Which bit do you have, the wheels?". :rolleyes: I tried replying "No, I have the air in the wings" but then they went all peculiar about the wings being hollow.

The other lineAerbabe is (although this doesn't work on a non-flyer):-

Q) How many flying hours can you get for fifty quid
A) Errr, umm, you mean a number bigger than one?

G

or for gliding...........

what happens when you run out of wind??

Genuine RFC Court of Inquiry Report from circa 1915:-

"The finding of negligence recorded against Captain X was reversed, it being found upon enquiry that he had crashed his machine on a day upon which the air contained absolutely no lift whatsoever. It is ordered that Captain X be returned to full service duties with immediate effect and that the finding be expunged from his service record".

What if the wings fall off ? :confused:

Q. Do you have to get permission before you can take off and fly?

A. No, I do it when my wife's at work.

I usually say WE DIE!............. followed by quiet a moment whats that funny noise

Keeps them quiet for a while

LOL, Tony. Outstanding, Red Team, getcha case a beer for that one.

Kolibear,

How can you write no to the following:
I thought it was a tin one!

:}

FD

(while we're airborne)
'So, are you allowed to fly solo then?'
'No, I'm only allowed to be responsible for the lives of 2-4 people; 1 wouldn't justify the expense...'

Q. What do you do if the engine stops.

'Stick your head between your legs (..brief pause..) and kiss your ass goodbye' is always a firm favourite when I take someone new up.

Q: You must have loads of money

A: Well no actually, as flying uses it all up

Q: Doc, are you going to work for an airline, now you have your commercial license?

A: No, could not afford the paycut, have a family to feed.

FD

Joking apart, with the rates some of the low cost airlines pay to F/Os you wonder how anyone can contemplate going into this line of business and invest the best part of £80k on ATPL and type ratings.

And that's assuming that one could find a job in the first place ... at least over here, they are none too plentiful, following the collapse of Canada 3000, the demise of Canadian Airlines, and the insolvency of Air Canada.

It's not a great time to be an airline pilot.

Reading some of the other forums would put one off flying for an airline, I have given up thinking about it over the last year or so.

I don't earn that much but I do have some self respect so I'll stick to the day job and just fly for fun.

People do it because it's what they've always wanted to fly above all else, and they don't care about minor details like pay. Or they hear about long haul pilots getting six figure salaries for two days work a week, and the fact that those are a small minority doesn't faze them. Or they're doing a job they hate and...same applies. And if you're at a flying school where a lot of people are going commercial it starts to all seem normal anyway.

Ultimately it depends on your priorities I suppose.

Rotary versions of the above:

Q. If you fly a helicopter, you must be rich.
A. No, but I'd be reasonably well off if I didn't fly helicopters.

Q. You fly both fixed wing and rotary? You must be the rich woman I've been looking for to fund my training!
A. No, I've spent all my money on flying and I'm looking for a rich man to fund mine.

Q1 How did you learn to fly?

A Got a book out of the local library, read the first bit and then borrowed a friend's aeroplane.

Q2 What happens if..........?

A Dunno, never got to that bit in the book!

Q3 (I keep my aeroplane on a private strip) Do you need permission to fly?

I look around and ask the nearest person (gardener, tractor driver, milkman, stable girl, the dog, etc) Is it okay if I go flying?

Q4 You do lots of aerobatics, don't you feel sick?

A Only after 11 pints of Adnams, a couple of bottles of red and a dodgy Vindaloo



Stik

On the ATC bit, lots of people seem to assume that Air Traffic Controllers have some role in controlling the aeroplane (I heard a rumour that most of these people have now got jobs as instructors at a well known flying school).

Asked while winding up the elastic in my Cub:

Q Is the starter broken?
A No I'm fine thanks

He proceeded with:

Q Where's the stall warner?
A In there in front of the seats.
Q Where (peering into the cockpit)?
A There, that stick thing poking out of the floor, when it shakes I move it forward.

Q Where's the radio?
A In my car (meaning my handheld)
Q How do fly without a radio?
A Usual way, the wings seem to lift the whole thing off the ground.

He finally realised I was extracting the urine slightly but took it in good part. His experience was with PA-28's up to then. He did seem interested enough to expand his horizons though. I hope he did.