Random security
 

Frequently flying recently I've been struck by the Make It Up As You Go Along security rules: en route to DUB, LHR has developed a pathalogical phobia about umbrellas, at LCA it's all about scissors (even the teeny-weeny ones that come in sewing kits), at LHR I had to open every page of a newly bought paperback (to prove there was nothing 'hidden in it'), and at GVA I watched in amazement as a man was hauled off for trying to get a kitchen tap through via his hand luggage, while my partner was told that his huge Swiss Army Knife was absolutely fine.

Shoes on, or shoes off. Plastic belts are either fine, or have to be unsewn from walking trousers as one stands in the security queue. Bananas are OK at some places, lethal weapons at others. Tweezers - a lethal killing tool or no problem whatsoever. Lighters - as many as you like, or Highly Dangerous Items. Lipstick - ignored or confiscated. Laptops out, mobile phones in pockets OK, or not OK.

Tedious in the extreme. Perhaps we should all just fly naked with nothing whatsoever?

Maybe you should stop taking the bus?

At LHR about a month ago I flew out to Newark. After all the normal secruity (I agree there is always a 'dangerous item of the month'), I got to the gate and they were bag checking there before boarding.

Whilst in the queue I noticed a sign saying "No Lighters or Matches permitted onboard". Ok, I thought, but too late for me to throw my lighter away, so I will just hand it to the guy when I get to the front of the pushback delaying queue...

So, I put my bag on the picnic table and put my lighter down next to it. The overly miserable secruity worker goes to take it, at which point I turn around to be touched up by a not nearly miserable enough colleague of his.

I'm clear to go, so I pick up my bag and walk towards the tunnel of no return, only to hear "Sir....SIR!". ****, what have I done wrong!?

"You forgot your lighter!"

You mean I can take 100ml of toothpaste AND a lighter on board? Now I really don't feel safe :rolleyes:

Security operatives have to relieve the boredom somehow; like policemen have red car and Volvo days!

Just take a look in the professional aviation part of CHIRP and you will find reams of crass stupidity from the "security" numptys.

The best one recently published was about a ground engineer who was refused access airside because he had two pints of milk for the crewroom tea, he later retuned with four pints of milk and was granted access airside................. the reason is that two pints of milk breaches the 100ML liquid rule but four pints of milk is classed as a "delivery"!

You could not make it up!

Security Theater...

Security theater - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia