Introduction, Funny flight crews
 

Hello,

I'm new to this board, and think it's an awesome site.

First let me introduce myself. My name is Erik, and I'm a former long haul truck driver. Now I'm a full time student in the Information Technology industry due to a serious on-the-job injury. I enjoy flying so much that I go on flights just for the fun of it. My Father used to take us kids on just for fun flights long ago, and some of us are still hooked. I'm hoping that my next employer will allow me to do as much air travel as possible. :)

I was on a Southwest flight from SJC-PDX, when the FA doing the pre-flight safety demo asked the PAX to put their noses up against the windows to show their competetion just how full our flights really are. ;)

Anyone here have any stories of humorous flight crews? I think it's good to have some humor in flight as it relieves some of the stress associated with flying today. Comments?

Erik.

I heard this when I flew Ryanair STN - Genoa recently;

Chief Steward on welcoming PA:

"Irish law does not permit the use of any electrical goods on board this aircraft, these include walkmans, personal CD players, hand-held computer games, and vacum cleaners"

It made me smile!

TPuk

<< We hope to see you soon again on one of Northwest's flights >>

That was a flight attendant with sense of humor!

Heard whilst held at the gate at DXB for 90 minutes inside a seething Qatar A300 - 25 screeming kids, temperature +40C, air conditioning off!!

"If there is anything we can do to make your flight with us more pleasant please do not hesitate to ask"

I forget which flight it was. "Ladies and gentleman, Im turning off the seatbelt sign and the cabin pressure." :)

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Rotate, Please! airliner/in-flight photo site

"Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to xxx, please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the aircraft comes to a complete stop at the terminal building and the engines have been switched off...besides to the best of my knowledge, we have never known of a passenger to make it to the gate before the aircraft..." :)



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*************************Happy Landings! :)
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After a hard landing and heavy braking (to expedite vacating the runway) the male FA welcomed us to New York and requested the owner of a pair of dentures that rolled down to the front to identify themselves!

After a very long overnight flight SIN-AMS, a KLM Pilot announced that we were landing 50 mins early. As we disembarked the greeting we were given was
"Welcome to Munich."

I was returning from a trip YYZ - YHZ in DC9. The pilot flying really planted it on the runway...twice!! The F/A came over the PA and announced " Welcome to Halifax...Welcome to Halifax"
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"You want it on the gate for when??"

A trip in the US on Continental ("The Airline Pride Built" as they never stopped telling us) in the early 1980s brought the following :

1. A free drink for anyone who could guess the cabin crew's combined ages - voting papers were duly handed out and collected amongst much mirth.

2. A free drink for the passenger with most keys on their keyring - succesive callouts along the lines of "Any advance on...?" I think the winner had 57.

3. Several free drinks for any passenger producing a picture of Elvis as a child (tongue in cheek, this one -I think!).

4.On setting down an orange juice and a tomato juice on the aisle-side table the F/A advised my friend and I lest we be confused "The orange one is the orange juice!"

5. Upon landing the cabin announcement was "Welcome to Omaha Intergalactic Airport."

What else is there to say?

:) :) :) :) :)

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Safety is no accident

Once deadheaded on a flight where the purser did the funniest announcements I have ever heard. The cabin crew consisted of 3 men. His introductory announcement stated their names then said,'but we all answer to dad'. During the demo he described how to use a seatbelt'for those of you that have not been in a car since 1965' and when demonstrating the seatbottom as a flotation cushion, stated that ' in the event of an emergency, paddle like heck but please remember they are the property of xx airlines and should be returned at your earliest convienance'. The pax were in stitches and it made for a great flight!!

Some great stories of good cabin crew humour.
A c/s in our company when doing the safety PA likes to say to the pax regarding lifevests.
"There is a whistle with which to attract the attention of any passing sharks....."

However you'd be surprised at the amount of complaints we get about this sort of jovial behaviour.

My opinion is that a little bit of banter helps relieve what can very often be a stressfull situation for some people. However all it takes is one pax to have a sense of humour failure and the letters of complaint about "the attitude of your cabin crew in what is a responsible role ensuring the safety of the passengers....blah blah blah.."

I guess some people can take it, others can't.

A few years ago during the safety demo, one of the male F/A (obviously gay) was making the most hilarious faces and expressions as the pre-recorded spiel was being broadcast. Funniest parts included the crossed eyes and sucked in face using the overhead mask and playing a little tune on the life-vest whistle. People on both sides of the aircraft (it was dual aisle) were watching him and laughing - in all seriousness it was probably the most attention that I've seen people pay to the safety demo.

[This message has been edited by Lurk R (edited 20 October 2000).]

I used to work for a well-know charter airline, and after a particularly bone-crunching landing, the Captain said as we pulled onto stand " Cabin Crew prepare doors for arrival....that's if they haven't fallen off already !!"

I have also worked for scheduled, and it is true - you can certainly have more of a laugh with the shellsuits than the businessmen. One thing is for sure, whether you are flightdeck or cabin crew, a good sense of humour is a must !!!

Another Southwest story, from an MCO-CLE (and I believe I heard something similar on the return) flight I took a few years back to attend a friend's wedding . . .

"Put on your own mask before assisting others. If you don't like them that much, don't be that quick about it and let them suffer for a little bit."

I can't remember the exact wording, but it didn't sound at all callous. Actually, it got people giggling, paying attention to the demonstration, and remembering what was said.

I once read a story where a FA put a toy spider on a passengers tray table. According to the story, the FA was repramanded. Since then, I have thought about doing exactly that to an FA in the galley area, but have been too chicken to do so. I think I'll keep it that way.

On another flight, just after takeoff, the FA announced that there was a landmark on the right side of the aircraft, and will the passengers look.. This landmark is "My house".

On a flight from SJC-RNO, the male FA was carrying a tray full of empty and very light plastic cups. When he got close to a row of passengers who had been teasing back & forth, there was a bump, and the FA proceeded to drop all of the dry cups on the ladies, pretending they were full. There was hysterical laughter throughout the cabin rear of the row where the incident happened. :)

Erik.

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"As you exit the plane, please make sure you gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the cabin crew. Please do not leave children or spouses."



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*************************Happy Landings! :)
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How 'bout these one's:
C/A doing the safety stunt says "In case of a drop in aircraft pressure, oxygen masks will automatically deploy from overhead. Don your own mask before assisting any child you may be travelling with. If you are travelling with more than one child, decide now which one you like most"

And this one I experienced myself o/b a SAS flight from CPH to BRU. It's an MD87 and we're only a handfull in business class. Very seasoned male C/A asks us weather we are all familiar with the safety procedures. Nods all around, one pax even say's "yes". The response from the C/A "right, then you stand up and do the dance for us". He then proceeded back to his galley and left the safety procedures with a very confused pax, and the rest of us laughing loud. Great flight, smiles all around.

Smokin'

Flying BA from JFK-LHR in a 747.

After a pushback that seemed to take an eternity, we finally got moving. We then taxied for at least 10 mins, then held for a while, then another 5mins or so...captain came on the PA -

"Ladies and Gentlemen, i know it may seem like we're driving to Heathrow today, but i promise we'll be in the air shortly"



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"Landing an aicraft is simply controlled crashing" - Roy Slaven

Last year due to windshear at Perth the A/C did a go around, on the second attempt with much buffeting we touched down only to have the engine cowl scrape the runway.

Instead of Ladies & Gentleman welcome to Perth the Purser announced Ladies & Gentleman welcome to Earth!