Would anyone be kind enough to explain to me the reason behind these bigoted textile reponses?

I simply wish to pay my fare like any other passenger, and travel in a way which will make me far more comfortable.

Whether or not my "toddle and two" is on display is irrelevant. I am a paying customer like any other.

What you don't seem to care about is that you will be making potentially two hundred odd people uncomfortable.

To me that is selfish.

And getting on a plane where I may take up two seats would not be selfish?

What about taking a screaming baby on board? Is that not selfish?

If you take up two seats you pay for two. So, no.

Sometimes it is necessary for parents to avoid leaving their babies at home on their own. I'm sure you understand the reasons why. I am also sure that they don't make their babies scream intentionally. So, no.

Is it really necessary for you to fly for a couple of hours without clothes on? No, it isn't.

You intentionally want to make people feel uncomfortable, despite being aware of their sensibilities, just because you can, no other reason. Instead you could travel like everyone else to your nudist event where you can then parade around proudly, wearing as little as you like, for as long as you like.

Compromise or don't travel.

Yeah, we know what trolls want :E

nudeflyer, you are doing very well but although is meant as a compliment, you must realise that I have not supported you in the idea you are trying to promote.

We all know it won't happen and I, as a life-long naturist (I can prove that because I was born naked) would never dream of doing what you are saying is your intention.

Dont go BA au naturel as I heard someone recently sued them for catching headlice on an international flight. And dont sit at an exit row, too many draughts. :)

Have you considered body painting, Nudeflyer?

You could be true to your principles, but pull the wool over the eyes of those pesky textile nazis, known as the police and airport security.

Then, if you wish to be a Nudemartyr, you could take a bar of imperial leather and wash it off in the lav :}

Nudeflyer - you keep mentioning "screaming kids" in a negative way...

Have you concidered that the sight of you nude might induce more screaming from any kids onboard?

Try:
- Walking down the high street
- Getting on a bus
- Turning up to work

or any other number of activities nude and see what happens.

Why would you expect it to be any different on an aircraft?

Because I have paid for transportation, and I expect my needs to be catered for, the same as a disabled or elderly passenger might expect special treatment.

Do your special needs include dealing with dribbling?

To achieve such illiteracy, in such a short number of words :D

Nudeflyer Dont bother you wont even get past check in! Check in staff can if needed request that a passenger dress's in a respectable manor if you refuse you wont be going any where!

His spelling may be bad, but he makes a valid point!

Would that include the 'Mile High Club'?

His point is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx , as the OP won't get anywhere near checkin, but please try to get into the spirit of the thread.

Where does sex come into it?

Who said anything about
sex? However if it does,
at least you'll be suitably
dressed for it.:ok:

nudeflyer,

Rather than displaying what you have "down under" you might want to consider travelling "down under," where you might find a more favourable response. Maybe even an enlightened airline, where the Chief Executive Officer (masquerading as a baggage handler) joins in with the theme.

(a very good airline it is as well!)

OTOH.....
 

Woman in strop strip for Bermuda airport customs


A 36-year-old woman faced with a customs search at Bermuda's LF Wade International Airport rather brilliantly responded by instantly shedding her clothes and telling officers: “If you want to see me naked, you can do it right :mad: here.”

Loukai Phillips, a Bermudian native now living abroad, had just flown in from London on 19 August to close her bank account, but had to schedule in an appearance before magistrates on a "indecent exposure in a public place" rap following her protest strip.


Her lawyer, Charles Richardson, explained to the court that because of an unspecified "past association", his client had been strip-searched every time she faced customs operatives.

He admitted it was "an impetuous decision", but said Phillips "took her clothes off out of frustration".
Phillips told airport cops: "I would never do it again, I'm just tired of being searched."
Prosecutors demanded a fine as punishment for the outrage, since "children had been present and Phillips had repeatedly used bad language while removing her clothes".
Magistrates, however, simply slapped her with a 12-month conditional discharge, noting: "If you don’t want to be searched, don't come through customs." ®

I beg your pardon. :=

We have standards you know.

How did I miss this thread. Read through it all. Is Nutflyer male or female, couldn't see where this essential piece of information had been divulged.

Oh, I think there are clues if you look hard enough! ;)

Oh dear lord.

Go for it.
 

Nudeflyer don't listen to these guys.

Most Pomgolians don't like nuding up because most of them think that soap is a type of opera and that a shower is when it rains a little bit! :} :} :}

Get on the internet, google "how to have a shower" and follow the instructions. Then your bod will be nicely scrubbed and fresh for your trip :ok:

I'd suggest that you don't disrobe at check-in. As pointed out by other (more experienced) travellers here, check-in girls/guys can get "a bit funny" when you take your clothes off (I don't know why either :confused:)

Take your clothes off just before going through security. That way you can put them into your daypack and you should pass through the scanner first time! From what I understand the security guards at most English airports are very open minded and flexible with the "rules" when screening passengers going through their screening points. You might be bending the rules a bit but they'll just wave you through! :ok: :ok: :ok: :ok:

And if there's any problem, just say "No, it's okay. I was told the correct procedure on an anonymous internet forum". :cool: :cool:

OK my turn now. Nudeflyer if you're seated next to the window and wish to get up and go to the loo. Will the pax in B & C be able to see what you've had for breakfast or worse see 2 peanuts and a liquorice torpedo?

Based on the various practical points raised here, I'm beginning to think about investing in a posing pouch, just to keep stevey saveloy out of harm's way during "abnormal manoeuvres".

I could still, of course, remove said article while seated.

Perhaps if you had the same protections in law as those two groups you could. But you don't, so you can't.

You are of course welcome to found an airline specifically for Naturists (Perv-Air?) but I can't see it being a financial success.

Enjoy prison.

Nudeflyer

Maybe a jock strap would give more control? You would also have the option of adding a cricket protector, in case some outraged textile decides to kick you 'in the groin.'

As we begin to consider replacing full nudity with minimialist clothing - posing pouch, jock strap - one wonders what is the least clothing (in terms of surface area of the body covered) which would allow one to travel without problems from the authorities or airline. On certain airlines heading south, one has occasionally seen ladies who from their attire seem to assume that they are going to be on the beach five minutes after touchdown....(or in bed, perhaps).

On Iran Air, I believe it is a bin bag and a balaclava.

and a tear jerker

There wasn't a dry seat in the house.

Well I have now formulated my "au naturel" travel plan.

I shall remain clothed during check-in, to avoid the inevitable "interest" from airport security.

However, once airborne, I shall disrobe in the toilets, and return to my seat.

To avoid unwitting brushing my chubby chipolata over my fellow passengers when I get up, I shall procure a posing pouch, perhaps in the colour of the airline concerned.

This is about demonstrating that naturists the world over have nothing to fear from practising their favoured activity in a much wider variety of situations.

When the cabin crew, under the captains authority, ask you to put your clothes back on, which they will, what are you going to do then? I will tell you that ignoring or not following lawful commands of the crew and captain is illegal and dangerous and you will be in contravention of the Air Navigation Order.

Except that you are demonstrating your fear by remaining clothed during the check in process. You're compromising your philosophy old son.

Do you really think that you will be somehow 'protected' once you are airborne?

Be prepared to either return to your point of departure and be met by the police or be prepared to arrive at your destination and be met by the police.

nudeflyer: you had better not be on my flight tomorrow. If you are, you won't be contending only with the cabin crew.

Just in case you really are serious, you might want to investigate who foots the bill for a diversion caused by a passenger before you execute your plan. Hope you've got some money behind you...

Nudeflyer, you do come across as "not functioning at the upper level".
Listen to what these folks on here tell you; it is NOT ok to do any of the things you described. Wanna go all "naturist", go hug a tree before you get to the airport.
And for God's sake, keep your clothes ON! Not only the cabin crew will not be impressed and as Nicholas49 suggests, the a/c will most likely divert to the nearest airport to have your naked a$$ arrested and you WILL pay for the diversion costs, but think, for one second, that you are not the only pax in that cabin. There will be, let's say, 200 more pax traveling and amongst them, young children. Just think about it...

If not, I'm looking forward to read about your "naturist experience" in a ridiculous "newspaper" (as ridiculous as your "idea"), such as The Sun or whatever they call it.

I swear to God the world is going to hell... :ugh:


PS: people like you should be forced to take an IQ test before even approaching an airport (or a train station, or a bus station... or any public place for that matter)