NZ on the move!
 

Any engineering types think of a way to put NZ well and truly back in it's place?
:E

World first:

landmass attempts to emigrate away from its own people ... :hmm:

Or - better yet - further away? :}

Wouldn't it be nice if Trans-tasman airfares dropped accordingly!

(As long as they don't start routing TT flights into Invercargill :} )

Give it time, the entire south island LANDMASS will be in Bondi, dole bludging :}

j3

PF...... you asked for a QUALIFIED comment......................

Nuke the FECKERS!!!!!:}

If it does not move them back 12 inches..............who cares:}:}:}

...............all my k1w1 mates.......... I luves ya!

Jabawocky, in order to do any Nuke damage mate..the ADF would need to steal a few "special" devices.....
A big step up from bread theft.....:}

Jabawocky -

yet yer profile states your from Godzone?

From the other end of the Shaky Isles. :eek: :}

Subject: Otara Earthquake

A major earthquake, measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Otara, Auckland, in the early hours of last Thursday morning.
News of the disaster was swiftly spread by the distressed barking of the area's 35,000 unchipped Dobermans, Pitbulls, Staffies and various unidentifiable cross-breeds, while dazed victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fukinhell", "wowozat?" and "orsum bro".

Many locals were visibly distressed to have been woken before their DPB arrived.

The earthquake decimated the town, causing $99.99 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from McDonalds and the Otahuhu station car park were damaged beyond repair.
Three acres of historically important burnt-out cars were thrown into chaos.
Radio Manukau reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting happened in Otara.

One resident, 15 year old mother of three, Tarara Boum te Ae, said "I was still shaking when I was watching Oprah the next day." Rising to the challenge, locals were determined to carry on business as usual, and lootings, muggings and car crime continued virtually without interruption.

Relief Efforts:

Rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit
books, jewellery from The Warehouse and bone china from the $2 Shop. So far the Red Cross has managed to ship 4,000 cartons of Lion Red (beer) to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals.

CAN YOU HELP?????? Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of this disaster. Clothing and footware is needed most of all - especially:

* Baseball caps

* Hoodies

* Tracksuit tops (his or hers)

* White sport socks

* Nike shoes or white gumboots

* Jandals


Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your efforts will make a difference. Microwave meals, baked beans, chippies, ice-cream and cans of Mountain Dew or are ideal. Please not give anything that needs peeling.

Urgently required:
tinned dog food, and please throw in some extra cans for the hungry pit-bulls and dobermans.

Remember:

* 50 cents buys a Bic ballpoint for filling in compensation claims.

* $5 buys chips, chicken nuggets and blue fizzy drink for 5 toddlers or 3 pre-schoolers.

* $10 will pay for a packet of Rothmans and a lighter to calm a child's nerves.

* $20 will buy enough tinnies to settle down the adults into their normal levels of inertia.

* $50 will buy sufficient spray cans in various colours to restore the damaged "Street Art" on shop fronts and public buildings, and to redecorate the local motorway bridges.

Do not send tents. Flash housing may cause discontent in the nearby West Auckland communities.

Pure class Bullethead!

but there is a typo in your narrative.

This description is CLEARLY a typo...it should have read.."The earthquake decimated the town, causing $99.99 worth of IMPROVEMENTS"

Classic, absolute classic.

Another classic.


thats not nice, NZ has alot to offer, Like the metric system.

We do love our kiwi friends......... but geeez they arc up quick! :}

Could very well be spending the same currency too soon. Those 12in are just the start of closer economic relations. :\

Gee James,

Hope not the currency as yet......Going (Coming?) over for the Wanaka Show next Easter and its nice to have a 'small win' with the present currency diff....

T'aint much, but it just feels 'nice'....to spend only a coupla bucks for one of those GREEAATT Deer steak sangas for brekkie.....and lunch.... :ok:

Priceless Mr Bullet!!!:D:D

At least my ancestors paid for their passage to this fair country.:ok:

Is that why you're all so poor now? :}

My ancestors were smarter than yours, and like Owen said, put a bit of thought into it and figured they only had to steal something and you got a free ride to an even fairer and better country, :ok::ok::ok:.

morno

Theirs only one Godzone kiddies - and it aint Dunnunda!!!

If somethings worth having it's worth paying for. What does that say about Oz? ;)

great stuff bullet but you forgot the kiwi gravy....send tomato sauce and lots of it...they have it with everything

We're closer to Australia?!
 

That explains the stench,

I just moved my bed 30 cm East to counteract it.