:ugh: How dare these flight attendants try to be funny and set a friendly enjoyable tone in the cabin, instesad of being dour, sour faced hags.

I wonder if the complaints about these crews would be from the same people who manage to spend an entire flight/day/roster whinging/bitching/moaning about;

The company,
management,
paxing seat allocation,
the tax rate,
the price of fuel,
interest rates,
the government,
the cost of luxury goods,
private school fees,
long trips,
short trips,
that year,
Hawke,
Rudd,
funny cabin crew,
sour cabin crew,
the travelling public,
engineers,
refuellers,
security,
atc,
the walk from the carpark,
the guy driving the crew bus,
the ex wife,
the bag chuckers,
the person operating the aerobridge,
every other pilot,
every other profession,

Like true PROFESSIONALS.

well spoken psycho joe :ok:

It certainly seems that way, doesn't it?

Flying is indeed a serious business. All of the above reasons and more.

For me! Some humour in a briefing is okay and, if done well, appreciated.

However, "May I have your attention please" triggers my survival nerve endings every time.

:oh: Visualise if you will, the AFTERMATH of an aircrash. Imagine the result of a smarmy, 'clever', 'funny' SAFETY briefing, with passengers still trapped in the fuselage because they did not hear the important message of how to exit; or the floating bodies who did not know how to don or inflate their life jackets. Consider how the investigators will examine the recording of the SAFETY briefing and where the fault will be sheeted home.

I like to develop a good rapport with my pax and humour is a great tool, IN ITS' PLACE - which is NOT the SAFETY briefing.:=

Get lives!

bbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbzbbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzz

Get a Command zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This thread is turning out some interesting opinions, like the one where the poor kid that mentioned his drug use.

If you look at it pragmatically, it is the message that counts. If anyone can say that they listened to, absorbed and paid 100% attention to every briefing, they are superhuman.


As soon as the doors close and the aircraft air kicks in, oxygen starts decreasing, you've settled into your seat and your head starts feeling heavy, you start to dose off. Through the ambient noise you hear the bell of the announcement... 'aah that'll be the safety whatsimmejig...' anyone cute today? as you lean into the isle. Nah, just some old mothers club, net even qualifying for a MILF and some hairy leg in the second aisle.. brrr. Now, where's that magazine, oh hang on she's cute...but she's demoing the section behind me. S**t, just my luck. Where's that mag again...

Pax are not professional fliers, they are normal people that need to be told what to do in case of emergency. Entertainment is a BRILLIANT way of doing that. Better to be subjected to entertaining, shocking or even embarrassing safety briefing delivery that makes you wake up and take notice than sleep through it all together.

Surely safety is important enough that we don't need to have pole up the behind about the communication of the message?

I've been on flights where the FO has been so embarrassing I cringe even thinking about it, but all the pax around me took notice. Some OS airlines just use a video. Professional? Hardly, in order not to offend, they used animated figures, no sex, race etc specific, just in case they might offend. Unwatchable and incomprehensible.

just my 2c

sc

Well sprocket check, if, when you board the aircraft you...

then it's probably quite understandable that you're not getting the message! :8

chainsaw

and you can bet your **** that many of your pax are in just that position. Your responsibility as a professional is to make them 'get it'. The techniques you use and the results you get are what determines how successful at your job you are. If you make me fall asleep, you are not doing your job, as in, you are not communicating your message effectively. :ugh:

Gee there are some humourless gits around who take things a little too seriously..lifes too short..good work virgins:ok: (and your prices are great)

5 years ago now thanks Spotdim.

Have seen both sides to your so called "professional" and "not professional" safety PA's.

I know which method engages the average punter.

Funny; 'cos the same method also further engages the boring farts who listen closely for the "unprofessionalisms"

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Don't know about some of you guys, but i've had to do a few hundred pax briefs asa pilot flying the bugsmashers of this world and there is nothing worse than doing a SERIOUS pax brief (e.g. life jacket brief) only to have a question of what's in the pouch a parachute from one pax.

Doesn't matter how you do it i was taught, just make sure the moron down the back gets the message.

Its been too long since some of you had to deal directly with the guys and girls sitting in the rear rows. Maybe you need to get back to the real world and try doing an announcement or two and see who really pays attention.

And good luck to all those aspiring comedians whofound the jetsetting lifestyle pays just that little bit better.

I wouldn't like to be that CS. At VB any jokes in the safety demo are frowned upon and I can imagine the PB manuals are the same. The rest of the gags are well worn but ok. Since VB are trying to attract the business traveller, crew have been asked to respect the type of people on board and the time of the day. The corny joke is VB's thing, always has been, always will be and at the end of the day its why people remember to choose us over the other airlines. You would much rather be stuck with a crew who look like they are enjoying what they are doing as opposed to the ones who look like they would rather be somewhere else.

This has turned out to be a thoroughly entertaining thread! I have to say, I've been a little gob-smacked by some of the attitudes apparent, particularly those by presumed 'professional' pilots -I assume you have your red rat teddy bears handy boys???

It appears that Captain Barry Strongjaw, he of the steely gaze, heroic deed and gravitas extremis is amongst us! Apparently we should all bow down before him, resplendent in his gold braid and tug our forelocks in respect and gratitude for his gracing our lowly presence. Heaven forbid we express an opinion contrary his, lest our professionalism be called into question!!!

I said it before -in case you missed it the 1st time, here it is again: FFS get off your high-horses.

I really wonder how, in your opinion, the fact that I may use humour in the several thousand safety briefings that I have personally delivered, makes my delivery of that safety briefing or my conduct of the flight any less professional?

I beg to differ. I think you'll find that the content of safety briefings is indeed a matter of regulatory definition and approval. The delivery however, is left to the operator's discretion.

You forgot to mention "delivered in a mind-numbing, bored, distracted monotone by someone making it plain that they would rather be doing anything else", for that has surely been my experience.

I added the 'yadda's'!

From what I've witnessed of these so-called 'professional' safety briefings, the vast majority of the pax subjected to it are totally disengaged and disinterested, paying more attention to their magazines, iPods's, the kid in the row behind them or anything other than the monotonous drone issuing from the PA. The VB announcements however, as I said in a previous post seem to capture people's attention and IMO are far more likely to be effective at both getting the message across and ensuring the message is retained and acted upon "in the highly unlikely event of an emergency".

I reckon Captain Barry Strongjaw needs to seriously consider getting the hell out of his ivory cockpit, down from the lofty heights of his wallet and re-engage not only with reality and humour, but with the average joe punter that occupies everything aft of row 0A.

Gee there are some miserable b*&stards on this forum get over it their just having fun and trying to make the trip a little more enjoyable, you whinging pricks are why the fun is going out of aviation.(ps before you start bashing me you can still have fun and be safe)

happy for the fun to be put into aviation - can even tolerate the odd tired attempt at humour leading into the VB safety PA (albeit with a bit more work on the pronounciations and the read pace)....just can't stand to see all the demo gear spread out on the floor of the single aisle and then be assaulted by a barrage of PA's every 5 minutes trying to sell me IFE, a rent a car, a day old sandwich or a blow up Richard Branson doll.

To be fair and to demonstrate balance, QF amongst most others also needs to review the PA's and the delivery - some of the girls (...and boys) sound like an 80 year old drag queen after they have finished the half marathon.

No matter which airline there's no subsitute for clear CONCISE well presented AND RELEVANT PA's .... just not too many of them and make sure that the PA's are done by a single 'voice' that sounds professional.

PS: Tip for other drivers - have you heard how your own PA's sound in the cabin? - a recording made me rethink mine! - a quick check before boarding to make sure the mic is not 'popping' or muffled is also a good habit to adopt.........................."hello world....:}"

Kulula have been doing it for a while in Seth Eff.

Makes you take notice for the first one or two times but becomes a bit cringeworthy after that. But if that means that first- or second-timers pay attention, then job done.

What might work, is if the papers and mags were not distributed until after the demo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lRB_ukrrb8

Although I should add that they're the only airline I've flown with that actually ask passengers to put their belts back on when taxiing in to the gate.:ok:

And it's also important to see things from Osamas point of view:}

Radio Saigon -

What you say would be a good argument, but for one thing.

Not one part of that tripe was remotely funny!!

Cringeworthy and embarrassing at best, unprofessional at worst. IF you were looking at me during a safety briefing you'd see me reading the paper too - I have already read the card, sorted out exits (probably in an exit row anyway :ok: ) etc. etc.

Make it professional at least. If you want to try party tricks, for fcuks sake at least make it funny :yuk: :yuk:

And last of all, if you are going to try and be funny, but fail at that, try to pick a theme for your sh!t comedy that isn't running down your own company!! Jeeeezuz Christ. :sad:

CR.