Dear Minister. Your airport security is a farce because...
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To quote the doyen of parliamentary enquiries
Sir Humphrey: Well Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with another in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say, that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other as far as one can see, at this stage.
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Trent 972, Exactly!
We allow this to happen through our acceptance of this inefficient and idiotic system and our trust that it is somehow going to deter a motivated terrorist!
Somehow I don't think the next major attack will be by air, methinks a nice big ship sailing into a city harbour with some rather nastiness in her hold is the go.
We allow this to happen through our acceptance of this inefficient and idiotic system and our trust that it is somehow going to deter a motivated terrorist!
Somehow I don't think the next major attack will be by air, methinks a nice big ship sailing into a city harbour with some rather nastiness in her hold is the go.
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Flyingblind pontificated
Have you noticed since you posted that statement a van parked opposite your place? Phone have a funny background noise at times? Have you practiced holding your breath for the "Legitimate interrogation technique" now used for terror suspects? Your ASIO file is on the table being amended now 
Somehow I don't think the next major attack will be by air, methinks a nice big ship sailing into a city harbour with some rather nastiness in her hold is the go.
Last edited by Super Cecil; 16th Jan 2010 at 09:31. Reason: Taken too lightly
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Have you ever noticed that when you are running late to get to the aircraft, you will always be selected for the explosives test. When you have plenty of time, you just walk through!
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Trent - Nice work and appreciate the response.
If we accept then that the crack troops of airport security are indeed inspecting our aerosols for DG purposes (and that they have been suitably trained for that purpose), it can only be a matter of time before they begin:
1) Inspecting spare laptop/PED batteries to ensure adequate covers are in place so as to prevent short circuits;
2) Confirming that said batteries have an output rating in the range 100-160Wh;
3) Checking hair curlers for fitting of suitable covers to the heating element; and
4) Physically confirming through demonstration that all matches are not "strike anywhere".
Bugger - now I've gone and given them ideas too!
If we accept then that the crack troops of airport security are indeed inspecting our aerosols for DG purposes (and that they have been suitably trained for that purpose), it can only be a matter of time before they begin:
1) Inspecting spare laptop/PED batteries to ensure adequate covers are in place so as to prevent short circuits;
2) Confirming that said batteries have an output rating in the range 100-160Wh;
3) Checking hair curlers for fitting of suitable covers to the heating element; and
4) Physically confirming through demonstration that all matches are not "strike anywhere".
Bugger - now I've gone and given them ideas too!
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Dear Minister. Your airport security is a farce because...
The tiny screwdriver attached to my house keys (that I use to tighten my glasses) is not as sharp or as long as the stainless steel pen that I'm permitted to take airside yet one of your goons took the screwdriver too.
bbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The tiny screwdriver attached to my house keys (that I use to tighten my glasses) is not as sharp or as long as the stainless steel pen that I'm permitted to take airside yet one of your goons took the screwdriver too.
bbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Dear Minister. Your airport security is a farce because...
last week, during my walkaround, I almost tripped over an engineers toolbox filled with things that would send your goons into a frenzy!
bbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzz
last week, during my walkaround, I almost tripped over an engineers toolbox filled with things that would send your goons into a frenzy!
bbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzz
... because the FLIGHT CREW (!) have to pay and display (bi-annually) an expensive ASIC card whilst the passengers that are escorted airside only need pay for their tickets! 
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Dear Minister, Your airport security is a farce because...
Your goons wouldn't let me through the gate because I was carrying my hook knife and leatherman (despite being in uniform at the time), so in full view of said goon I walked 50m to another gate where my colleagues were carrying through automatic weapons to the already armed aircraft and went through that way.
Your goons wouldn't let me through the gate because I was carrying my hook knife and leatherman (despite being in uniform at the time), so in full view of said goon I walked 50m to another gate where my colleagues were carrying through automatic weapons to the already armed aircraft and went through that way.
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CharlieRomeoGolf: "Being "checked" by security before passing into restricted airside area only to be denied access into the terminal sterile area."
Hit the nail on the head! I JUST WANT A COFFEE!!!!
Hit the nail on the head! I JUST WANT A COFFEE!!!!
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You all are a mob of whingers, you should be worshoping lil Johnny Howard. Look how he has made this country safe from terror, none of you have seen terrorist behind any of these security measures or walking around Aircraft have you? (You didn't before but that's beside the point). Just admit it's the greatest thing done for aviation (At least security companies/jobs for certain minorities employed at airfields/fencing contractors in regional areas and providers of security passes) in Australia. 
Stop yer whingin, it's now life as we know it Jim.
Stop yer whingin, it's now life as we know it Jim.
