Those blasted moderators are at it again...!!
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Those blasted moderators are at it again...!!
So have you noticed that whenever a thread descends (climbs, in some cases) into a good-natured Aussie-Kiwi slagging contest, the thread gets locked by the Australian moderators?
Are our moderators incredibly sensitive souls, xenophobic, or simply lacking in any discernable sense of humour? Or just Australian?
I mean is it really so bad? I bit of fun amongst all the airline bashing and other trivia?
Ah well, maybe we can have a bit of fun guessing how many posts this thread attracts before the big bad padlock appears. I'm guessing three...
Are our moderators incredibly sensitive souls, xenophobic, or simply lacking in any discernable sense of humour? Or just Australian?
I mean is it really so bad? I bit of fun amongst all the airline bashing and other trivia?
Ah well, maybe we can have a bit of fun guessing how many posts this thread attracts before the big bad padlock appears. I'm guessing three...
urself banned.
NZ Earthquake
A major earthquake, measuring 9.1 on the Richter scale has hit New Zealand this morning. The country is devastated with 350,000 New Zealanders missing, and over 100,000 injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government is so overwhelmed that it has issued a worldwide appeal for assistance. Other nations have been quick to respond to the disaster.
Britain is flying in rescue workers and sniffer dogs to help locate trapped victims.
The USA is flying in food supplies and aid money.
France is flying in doctors, nurses and first aid units.
Japan is flying in high tech communications equipment.
Germany is flying in special trained police squads to help restore order.
Russia is flying in tents and warm clothing.
Australia is flying in 350,000 replacement Kiwis.......
A major earthquake, measuring 9.1 on the Richter scale has hit New Zealand this morning. The country is devastated with 350,000 New Zealanders missing, and over 100,000 injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government is so overwhelmed that it has issued a worldwide appeal for assistance. Other nations have been quick to respond to the disaster.
Britain is flying in rescue workers and sniffer dogs to help locate trapped victims.
The USA is flying in food supplies and aid money.
France is flying in doctors, nurses and first aid units.
Japan is flying in high tech communications equipment.
Germany is flying in special trained police squads to help restore order.
Russia is flying in tents and warm clothing.
Australia is flying in 350,000 replacement Kiwis.......
Australia is flying in 350,000 replacement Kiwis.......
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I'm beached as bro... anyone got a bucket? I need one ASAP
[for those who dont know what I am talking about search beached whale in youtube... its a pisslaugh]
[for those who dont know what I am talking about search beached whale in youtube... its a pisslaugh]
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Q What do you call a kiwi farmer with a sheep under one arm, and a chicken under the other?
A Bi-sexual
Q: How can you tell if a Kiwi has been in your fridge?
A: The lamb roast has a hickie...
A Bi-sexual
Q: How can you tell if a Kiwi has been in your fridge?
A: The lamb roast has a hickie...
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See? And I thought our beloved mods would have lowered the boom by now. I mean, poster number two told me to p**s - p*s* - errr, go away, and he didn't even get banned! Perhaps there is a sense of humour in the West Island after all...!
Having said that, any one who uses the earthquake joke should be banned for at least a week. That one's been done to death.
Keep it coming guys, let's show the grumpy old mods that Kiwis and Aussies (and other Pacific people) can get together over a virtual beer or two and enjoy a good joke. Fist fights optional of course. And don't (virtually) drink and then (virtually) drive!
Edit: padlock estimate now upgraded to 20 posts. Unless someone mentions PNG, in which case it will go to 100,000+ posts...
Having said that, any one who uses the earthquake joke should be banned for at least a week. That one's been done to death.
Keep it coming guys, let's show the grumpy old mods that Kiwis and Aussies (and other Pacific people) can get together over a virtual beer or two and enjoy a good joke. Fist fights optional of course. And don't (virtually) drink and then (virtually) drive!
Edit: padlock estimate now upgraded to 20 posts. Unless someone mentions PNG, in which case it will go to 100,000+ posts...
A Kiwi walks into the local unemployment office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on welfare, I'd really rather have a job."
The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The Kiwi says, "You're bull****ting me!"
The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The Kiwi says, "You're bull****ting me!"
The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
Why can't Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the Rugby?
They eat all the grass.
Three Kiwis and three Aussies are travelling by train to a rugby game. At the station, the three Kiwis each buy a ticket and watch with bewilderment as the three Aussiesbuy only a single ticket between them.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Kiwi.
"Watch and you’ll see", answers the Aussie.
They all board the train. The Kiwis take their respective seats but all three Aussies cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please". The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Kiwis see this and agree it was quite a clever plan. So after the game, the Kiwis decide to copy the Aussies on the return trip and save some money, (being clever with money and all that).
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the Aussies don’t buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel ‘without’ a ticket?" asks one perplexed Kiwi. "Watch and you’ll see", answers a Aussie. When they board the train, the three Kiwis cram into a bathroom and the Aussies cram into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Aussies leaves and walks over to the bathroom where the Kiwis are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets please"!!!!!
They eat all the grass.
Three Kiwis and three Aussies are travelling by train to a rugby game. At the station, the three Kiwis each buy a ticket and watch with bewilderment as the three Aussiesbuy only a single ticket between them.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Kiwi.
"Watch and you’ll see", answers the Aussie.
They all board the train. The Kiwis take their respective seats but all three Aussies cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please". The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Kiwis see this and agree it was quite a clever plan. So after the game, the Kiwis decide to copy the Aussies on the return trip and save some money, (being clever with money and all that).
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the Aussies don’t buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel ‘without’ a ticket?" asks one perplexed Kiwi. "Watch and you’ll see", answers a Aussie. When they board the train, the three Kiwis cram into a bathroom and the Aussies cram into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Aussies leaves and walks over to the bathroom where the Kiwis are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets please"!!!!!
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Aussie bloke walks around the back of shearing shed and finds a kiwi with a sheep.
He shouts "Hey you, you're supposed to be shearing that sheep!"
Kiwi replies "I'm not shearing her with anyone, shes mine."
He shouts "Hey you, you're supposed to be shearing that sheep!"
Kiwi replies "I'm not shearing her with anyone, shes mine."
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An aircraft full of Australian men and one woman forcelanded onto a desert island.
After a week the woman was so ashamed of what she was doing she shot herself.
After another week the Australians were so ashamed of what they were doing they buried her.
After another week the Australians were so ashamed of what they were doing they dug her up again.
After a week the woman was so ashamed of what she was doing she shot herself.
After another week the Australians were so ashamed of what they were doing they buried her.
After another week the Australians were so ashamed of what they were doing they dug her up again.
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Hey Owen Stanley, no worries, didn't take it personally. In fact I laughed so hard I sprayed coffee all over my keyboard... 
So anyway...
What do you call a thousand Australians at the bottom of the sea?
A good start...
So anyway...
What do you call a thousand Australians at the bottom of the sea?
A good start...