Phamous Phrases
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Phamous Phrases
These have probably been seen before and if I am being repeditive I apologise. Still they are quite funny.
> AIRCRAFT SAYINGS
>
> Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ..I Shall Fear No Evil.
> For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing!
> (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan).
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
> (Paul F. Crickmore -test pilot)
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
> The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -- Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
> submarines in the sky.
> (From an old carrier sailor)
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
> helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
> power left to get you to the scene of the crash.
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
> Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
> If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .....the pilot
> dies.
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Never trade luck for skill.
> --------------------------------------------------
> The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
> "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh ****!"
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot
> pregnant.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully
> complete the flight.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a
> row is prevarication.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
> purpose of storing dead batteries
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
> person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything
> about it.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
> Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be
> held on a sunny day.
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII:
> When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the
> softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; .....it can just
> barely kill you.
> (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to
> its maximum.
> (Jon McBride, astronaut)
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
> crash as possible.
> (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the
> bastard down.
> (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.
> (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and,
> a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
> opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the
> same time.
> (Author unknown, but surely someone who's been there)
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Basic Flying Rules:
> Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it.
> The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
> buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
> difficult to fly there.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
> power to taxi to the terminal.
> AIRCRAFT SAYINGS
>
> Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ..I Shall Fear No Evil.
> For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing!
> (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan).
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
> (Paul F. Crickmore -test pilot)
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
> The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -- Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
> submarines in the sky.
> (From an old carrier sailor)
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
> helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
> power left to get you to the scene of the crash.
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
> Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
> If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .....the pilot
> dies.
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Never trade luck for skill.
> --------------------------------------------------
> The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
> "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh ****!"
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot
> pregnant.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully
> complete the flight.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a
> row is prevarication.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
> purpose of storing dead batteries
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
> person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything
> about it.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
> Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be
> held on a sunny day.
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII:
> When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the
> softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.
> -------------------------------------------------------
> The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; .....it can just
> barely kill you.
> (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to
> its maximum.
> (Jon McBride, astronaut)
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
> crash as possible.
> (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the
> bastard down.
> (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)
> ---------------------------------------------------------
> Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.
> (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and,
> a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
> opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the
> same time.
> (Author unknown, but surely someone who's been there)
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Basic Flying Rules:
> Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it.
> The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
> buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
> difficult to fly there.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
> power to taxi to the terminal.
Join Date: Mar 2004
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I once had 3 pages of quotes like that. Can't find it, which I am not happy about.
Heres one I remember...................
"He just f#cked up"
Chuck Yeager speaking at a fellow pilots funeral.
Love to hear some more.
Cheers,
Troup
Heres one I remember...................
"He just f#cked up"
Chuck Yeager speaking at a fellow pilots funeral.
Love to hear some more.
Cheers,
Troup
My personal favorite
Take-offs are optional,
Landings are mandatory...
And then there's the story of the two guys standing at the airport, looking up at the drizzle and low overcast, listening to an a/c going into another missed approach. One turns to the other and says "Geez do you think he'll get down?"
To which the other replies "Nobody's managed to keep one up there yet!"
CR
Landings are mandatory...
And then there's the story of the two guys standing at the airport, looking up at the drizzle and low overcast, listening to an a/c going into another missed approach. One turns to the other and says "Geez do you think he'll get down?"
To which the other replies "Nobody's managed to keep one up there yet!"
CR
The difference between a duck and a co-pilot?
The duck can fly.
A checkride ought to be like a skirt--short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance.
It only takes two things to fly: airspeed, and money.
The three most dangerous things in aviation:
A Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna
Two captains in a DC-9.
A flight attendant with a chipped tooth.
Aircraft Identification:
If it's ugly, it's British.
If it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.
Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club.
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind and head into the ground.
The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.
New CASA motto: "We're not happy, til you're not happy."
A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.
Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt: "You've got to land here son. This is where the food is."
The duck can fly.
A checkride ought to be like a skirt--short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance.
It only takes two things to fly: airspeed, and money.
The three most dangerous things in aviation:
A Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna
Two captains in a DC-9.
A flight attendant with a chipped tooth.
Aircraft Identification:
If it's ugly, it's British.
If it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.
Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club.
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind and head into the ground.
The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.
New CASA motto: "We're not happy, til you're not happy."
A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.
I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richter scale.
Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt: "You've got to land here son. This is where the food is."
Here are some more, some of which have already been mentioned.
Keep the aeroplane in such an attitude that the air pressure is directly in the pilot's face.
*Horatio C Barber, 1916
When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
*Robert Livingstone, 'Flying The Aeronca'
The only time an aircraft has too much fuel on board is when it is on fire.
*Sir Charles Kingsford Smith, sometime before his death in the 1920's.
Flexible is much too rigid, in aviation you have to be fluid.
*Verne Jobst
If you can't afford to do something right, then be darn sure you can do it wrong.
*Charlie Nelson
Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
*Layton A Bennett
I hope you either take up parachute jumping or stay out of single motored airplanes at night.
*Charles A. Lindbergh, to Wiley! Post, 1931
Never fly the 'A' model of anything.
*Ed Thompson
Never fly anything that doesn't have the paint worn off the rudder pedals.
*Harry Bill
Keep thy airspeed up, less the earth come from below and smite thee.
*William Kershner
When a prang seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.
*Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.11.
Instrument flying is when your mind gets a grip on the fact that there is vision beyond sight.
*U.S. Navy 'Approach' magazine circa W.W.11.
Always keep an 'out' in your hip pocket
*Bevo Howard
The cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.
*Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to the maximum.
*Jon McBride, astronaut
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.
*Bob Hoover
It occurred to me that if I did not handle the crash correctly there would be no survivors.
*Richard Leakey, after engine failure in a single engine, Nairobi, Africa, 1993
If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it. Ride the bastard down
*Ernest K Gann, advice from the 'old pelican'
Though I fly through the valley of death I shall fear no evil for I am at 80,000 feet and climbing.
*Sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location on Kadena AB, Okinawa
You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
*Paul F Crickmore
The emergencies you train for almost never happen. It's the one you can't train for that kills you.
*Ernest K Gann, advice from the 'old pelican'
If you want to grow old as a pilot, you've got to know when to push it, and when to back off.
*Chuck Yeager
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
*Richard Herman Jr, 'Firebreak'
There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.
*Sign over a squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970.
An airplane might disappoint any pilot but it will never surprise a good one.
*Len Morgan
*To most people, the sky is the limit. To those who love aviation, the sky is home.
*Life is simple. Eat, sleep, fly.
DF.
Keep the aeroplane in such an attitude that the air pressure is directly in the pilot's face.
*Horatio C Barber, 1916
When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
*Robert Livingstone, 'Flying The Aeronca'
The only time an aircraft has too much fuel on board is when it is on fire.
*Sir Charles Kingsford Smith, sometime before his death in the 1920's.
Flexible is much too rigid, in aviation you have to be fluid.
*Verne Jobst
If you can't afford to do something right, then be darn sure you can do it wrong.
*Charlie Nelson
Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
*Layton A Bennett
I hope you either take up parachute jumping or stay out of single motored airplanes at night.
*Charles A. Lindbergh, to Wiley! Post, 1931
Never fly the 'A' model of anything.
*Ed Thompson
Never fly anything that doesn't have the paint worn off the rudder pedals.
*Harry Bill
Keep thy airspeed up, less the earth come from below and smite thee.
*William Kershner
When a prang seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.
*Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.11.
Instrument flying is when your mind gets a grip on the fact that there is vision beyond sight.
*U.S. Navy 'Approach' magazine circa W.W.11.
Always keep an 'out' in your hip pocket
*Bevo Howard
The cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.
*Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to the maximum.
*Jon McBride, astronaut
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.
*Bob Hoover
It occurred to me that if I did not handle the crash correctly there would be no survivors.
*Richard Leakey, after engine failure in a single engine, Nairobi, Africa, 1993
If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it. Ride the bastard down
*Ernest K Gann, advice from the 'old pelican'
Though I fly through the valley of death I shall fear no evil for I am at 80,000 feet and climbing.
*Sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location on Kadena AB, Okinawa
You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
*Paul F Crickmore
The emergencies you train for almost never happen. It's the one you can't train for that kills you.
*Ernest K Gann, advice from the 'old pelican'
If you want to grow old as a pilot, you've got to know when to push it, and when to back off.
*Chuck Yeager
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
*Richard Herman Jr, 'Firebreak'
There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.
*Sign over a squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970.
An airplane might disappoint any pilot but it will never surprise a good one.
*Len Morgan
*To most people, the sky is the limit. To those who love aviation, the sky is home.
*Life is simple. Eat, sleep, fly.
DF.
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a couple from the old boy
when discribing somone in aviation who's a little unpleasent he would say to me "screamers and dreamers mate"
the other old phrase is:
Your better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
RWS888
the other old phrase is:
Your better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
RWS888
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How true Sqwark2004!
My favourites ( I have said and heard all of them personally)
have always been:
"Whats it doing now
"
"Why did it do that "
and
"Is she new
"
Cheers,
Contract Con
My favourites ( I have said and heard all of them personally)
have always been:
"Whats it doing now
""Why did it do that
"and
"Is she new
"Cheers,
Contract Con
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Sydney NSW Australia
Posts: 3,051
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Helicopters can't fly, they're just so ugly the earth repels them
" Helicopters dont fly, they just beat the air into submission!"
and "how many birds do you see with wings going round in circles?"
some i have already used, both in quick sucession
" what is that?" followed shortly by "F
uck that was close!" turned out to be a pidgeon at 4000Ft, i still dont know how he flew through the prop arc and didnt hit any blades!
Some beauties I received today:
The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation..
1. I'm from CASA and I'm here to help you.
2. Me? I've never busted minimums.
3. We will be on time, maybe even early.
4. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
5. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
8. I'm a member of the mile high club.
9. I only need glasses for reading.
10. I broke out right at minimums.
11. The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
12. Don't worry about the weight and balance - it'll fly.
13. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
14. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
15. We shipped the part yesterday.
16. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.
17. All you have to do is follow the book.
18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
20. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
22. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorised.
23. Sure I can fly it - it has wings, hasn't it?
24. We'll be home by lunchtime.
25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
26. I'm always glad to see CASA.
27. We fly every day - we don't need recurrent training.
28. It just came out of annual - how could anything be wrong?
29. I thought YOU took care of that.
30. I've got the field in sight.
31. I've got the traffic in sight.
32. Of course I know where we are.
33. I'm SURE the gear was down.
DF.
The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation..
1. I'm from CASA and I'm here to help you.
2. Me? I've never busted minimums.
3. We will be on time, maybe even early.
4. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
5. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
8. I'm a member of the mile high club.
9. I only need glasses for reading.
10. I broke out right at minimums.
11. The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
12. Don't worry about the weight and balance - it'll fly.
13. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
14. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
15. We shipped the part yesterday.
16. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.
17. All you have to do is follow the book.
18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
20. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
22. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorised.
23. Sure I can fly it - it has wings, hasn't it?
24. We'll be home by lunchtime.
25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
26. I'm always glad to see CASA.
27. We fly every day - we don't need recurrent training.
28. It just came out of annual - how could anything be wrong?
29. I thought YOU took care of that.
30. I've got the field in sight.
31. I've got the traffic in sight.
32. Of course I know where we are.
33. I'm SURE the gear was down.
DF.
