Isn't 'faster horses' missing from your list, Mike?

Best morale booster I had at HQ 1 Gp when our staff was cut again, but not the workload, was my 1 Star telling me not to work harder, but to work smarter. I hated to mention to him that what he saw was as smart as I get.

Mike, that would probably cheer most people up. Unfortunately, drinking during working hours is now frowned upon - and many places I have worked are under instructions not to serve alcohol during the day. Runways are closing down left right and centre or being replaced by shorter runways to cater for UAVs and STOVL. And bigger women - well, many are getting bigger, much much bigger, but not I suspect in the sense you are alluding to.

Not allowed to serve alcohol during the day?? :{

Blimey, you could even get the stuff when you were in a military hospital And that was as a patient!

Indeed.
A can of Guinness each was handed out by the nurses after doctors's rounds at 11am - even to a 16 year old cadet like me.

Nurses, Guinness...repeat for rest of life!

Sounds like the Death Knell for the Royal Navy then

With todays anti social view and the ban on smoking in Company Vehicles..

Remove the RUM and TOBACCO ... And all you are left with is BUM.


No wonder Morale is so low..

:E

And even that's been decreed as 'legal' these days. Just as well really given that all that seems to be available is the near constant offer of a ruddy big bat being inserted by the system on a daily basis. May be the 2 are linked? :E

Some of us fighter folk were visiting Neatishead one day, not long after this heavy-handed 'no drinking at lunchtime' nanny-state edict had been crapped down upon us from on high.

Whilst we were sipping Coca-Cola or something equally boring in the OM bar, the wonderful and much-loved Gp Capt 'Auntie' Joan Hopkins, Neat's Stn Cdr entered with a couple weasel-featured 'suits' from 11Gp in tow, who'd made it to the wilds of Norfolk without being buggered too savagely by the local six-fingered inbreds.

"Beer?" she asked her guest.... "Err, well, if it's OK, ma'am" came the feeble response. "3 pints please" asked Joan, "Well, what do you think of it?". "Err, very nice, ma'am". "It is, isn't it! Of course it's non-alcoholic, but I tasked the bar officer to find the very best he could, now that we're not allowed real beer at lunchtime any more!"

Point made in her own inimitable style!

Melchett,

Legal?? It's positively encouraged!!

But not compulsory.....







....yet :p

Nutloose/Fox3-remember well a bottle of Guinness a day for the three weeks (THREEWEEKS!) I was in RAFH Ely after a cartilege operation. But only for othopaedic patientsts, not the same for surgery or medical patients - none when I had my tonsilectomy.

... or cancel all leave until morale improves.
An alternative might be to arrange more Op dets so the stretch increases - after all flexibility is the key to air power!

Yeah, that's flexibility, not elasticity.

but surely, with time off to watch the Olympics and five star Vegas hotels with 'hot chicks' to recover from all that secondary jock strapping, morale should be at an all time high?:E

Every year since 1984, the morale in the Armed Forces has been reprted at an "all time low." That doesn't mean it isn't true, of course.

Copied from a prominent office wall at ISTAR Central...

Reasons why working for MacDonalds is better than the RAF
1. Better uniform
2. More medals and people respect them as they show you can do your job
3. Free food, properly cooked
4. Promotion on ability
5. The average MacDonalds is in the middle of town, not in the middle of nowhere
6. When children have tantrums, it is because they are under the age of 12
7. MacDonalds do not pretend they are investing in people
8. Superior supply system
9. Sh*gg*ng the manageress is not a crime
10. Only the customer is called sir
11. You can leg it to Burger King at a minutes notice
12. Ronald MacDonald has the decency to smile whilst shafting you
13. You wont have to do door guard
14. There is no MacDonalds in the Falklands
15. MacDonalds only has one clown

But it's not as bad as 84, because they have got rid of most of the people in the Forces.... Hence it must have improved.

Less people = less people with low Morale..

What jock strap?

Dead easy in the electronic age.

Any email in the TFD category - DELETE.

Any email received while on leave - DELETE.

Any email in the easy category from the same sender as TFD - DELETE.

Any email that is easy, forward.

If it is important they will send again.

E-mails, as with 'phone calls in the good old days...

If it's important they'll ring back.

If it's really important they'll do it themselves.