Pianos
 

From todays Guardian diary:-

(Last weekend a friends son got married, the bride being in the RAF and the groom in the Army. On the evening before the wedding they had a barbecue in the local pub for the guests who were staying overnight. I did mention to the grooms father that it must have been a quiet do since no-one had set fire to the pub piano).

The correct method of procuring a "burner" is to phone round the local auction houses to find out who has had a piano gathering dust for the last few months. Those with broken rest planks are a favourite as nobody would ever buy one because it will never be able to be tuned again. Auction houses are usually more than happy for you to come and collect these for nothing as they take up valuable floor space in their viewing room and nobody wants it to look like you can't shift stock.

In answer to the FOI request I can start them off with 2 from our grad night at Valley. :)

How is that purpose built piano burning with the natty 19(F) Sqn painted slabs area holding up these days guys? :ok:

Sounds like someone was sniffing round for a gutter rag exclusive. 'Evil aircrew in drunken orgy of destruction torch vintage Steinway and you, the public, foot the bill'

The 'dull' truth is that they're always scrap pianos that are privately purchased... if indeed such a practice occurs, and I couldn't possibly comment.

Shall I post the photos or shalln't I?

This puts me in mind of an episode in 76/77 when 809 were departing from RAF Honington to embark Ark Royal (old one !) en route to Roosie Roads or wherever. The ship was due to sail Monday am to embark the CAG pm in the Channel. Some of the 809 aircrew decided it would be a good wheeze to take the RAF Officers Mess piano to sea and shoot it off the cat - which they duly did and I've got a photo ( somewhere ) of said piano on the bow cat c/w bridle and FDO with flag raised ready to launch. The piano had been smuggled out of the mess up past the swimming pool and into D Hanger ( RNU) where 809 lorrycons were positioned to go to the ship with ground crew on the Sunday. So the aircraft duly embarked on Monday to the ship leaving D Hangar strangely empty except for RNU & FIR Buccs. The RAF police later that day followed the trail of scrape marks ( imagine 4 small brass wheels on tarmac and concrete) up the road and into the hangar where they mysteriously stopped..... just where the lorrycons had been the day before.... a look of puzzlement does not describe their faces !!!!!!!!!!

Always thought that burning bagpipes would be a better idea.:)

If somebody wants a piano in the ISK - Lossie area I may have one - small upright - perfectly formed but past its best. No cost to public purse but you would have to collect.

HF

oops
 

The Os Mess at an sh base in Oxfordshire had 2, one old and kn****ed for burning, one good for…. well playing I suppose. Unfortunately we burnt the wrong one, and got a pretty hefty bill in the process. It was a great night at a very sad time.
My thoughts go out to everybody on 33, who are going through it all again.

Best plan is to find a Piano salesroom that do some kind of trade-in deal. They're always more than happy to have the old clankers taken out of circulation.



...apparently. :E

Bruggen in the early 90's. Not one, burnable, upright piano within a 400km radius of the Officers Mess......they had all been torched, during some fantastic happy hours, in the late 80's......great sport! :ok:

3P

Queen's Jubillee '77 - Wardroom Yeovilton - not only was it burnt on the croquet lawns but immediately prior to the conflagration it had been pushed around the quadrangle by a Mini until it was no longer mobile (the piano that is!). I think some Stovies were involved.
GAGS
E86

Then there was this piano. Honest, there was a piano! Anyone know whether the grass survived?



http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x...Various009.jpg

We bought a burner in Alaska many years ago (off a nice old lady who was pleased it was going to a good home), but didn't have the heart to torch it as it was in good nick, so we presented it to the O'Club.

10 years later we were back and it was just about fit for purpose. Next day the USAF tried to charge us $2000 for what they described as an O'Club heirloom. We asked them where they got it from, then told them. The silence was beautiful.

Roly, I have to say that the antics surrounding that particular event blighted an otherwise excellent night.

The blokes had to prepare the site to H&S requirements, then the Defence Fire Service had to be on hand before, after almost boring us all to death, finally the kiddies destroyed that old car.

Not a great idea so soon after the self-igniting Airport Arabs - bloody silly really.....

I poked off soon afterwards.

Then there was the 1985? Great Lossiemouth Bombing Competition.
Somebody got the Mess to buy a new piano.
Obvious suggestion - let's have a party and burn the old one. Staish said no, let's put it on Tain Range and blow it to bits.
The competition was announced and published and everybody started practising (remember this predates laser aiming systems, and anything within 40 ft was considered a DH).
A set of rules was written, which included such gems as:
(x) nobody may fly more than 2 types (Lossie at the time hosted 5 Types and 3 additional Marks)
(x+1) except the Station Commander.
Came the day, and 202 Sqn underslung the piano onto Tain. The padre was installed in the tower as a neutral and honest referee. Opening shot - 202 went round and dropped a dummy, which missed. Padre's comments unprintable as the "body" fell to earth.
EVERYBODY who could fly found some sort of a weapons system to throw at the piano. The Staish had a go in a Bucc, and missed. He came back in a Jag, and missed with the bombs. Then said "no-one else is allowed to do this", and strafed firing out in one pass - and missed. The video shows the shells either side of the piano. Someone on the Hunters, in honour of all the times they'd pigs'd the switches, got clearance to dispose of a couple of jugs at the piano. They turned up, pigs'd the switches yet again and left them 6 0'clock at 4000.
The Shackletons had a go with a load of 1.75 flares, and missed. The Rapier Sqn were defeated by the rule that said min height 100 ft min spd 100 kts. They did ask 202 if it was possible to undersling a live FU - the technical answer is yes, but someone realised the limits of common sense.
Then 202 turned up, with the advantages of radar height hold, a doppler groundspeed computer, a drift indicator and a chinagraph line on the windscreen. One carefully timed boot later out the door and the piano was a fetching shade of yellow from a 5-gallon drum half full of Aunty Betty's finest canary acrylic.
Nobody else scored a DH, though the whole process, which lasted about 6 weeks, did wonders for wpn accuracy across all the sqns. After the event, the still-intact but conspicuous piano was spirited off against the next occasion that Lossie needed a serious morale raiser (has anyone seen it it since?). The trophy (a small model piano with a projectile sticking in it) can still be inspected at D Flt 202 Sqn.
If anyone has the video (which was seriously mates in confidence at the time) I would love to see a copy.
Sven
Mad scientist to D Flt 202 (Bomber!) Sqn

Not all SK bombing attempts have been so glorious...

Falklands, rocks, lake, canoeists, anyone?

Post-a-Piano
 

Burning Pianos!!! You hooligan Oiks!
Secret Airbase Lynamshire, early 70's.
OMess bar piano expertly dismantled to small enough pieces to stuff thro' slot in Mess post box.
Bit vague on occasion, but recall, even more vaguely that Staish was involved!
Ho-Hum, those were the days!!
XFT

Women are a bit like pianos . . . . when they're not upright, they're grand !

...and when you roll 'em over you can take 'em steinways:E

I do note that the adverts for this thread include several companies that could, given sufficient persuasion, sponsor some parties.

Although I suspect it is doubtful whether Steinway would contribute anything. Yamaha might though.

MadsDad
Make it an International Competition, £???'s entry fee per Sqn, large fine for biggest miss, open to all comers, auction the first slot, ALL TAKINGS TO RAFA/RAFBF/Army/Navy :ok: or whoever. Could raise some serious dosh. Tain or the Wash??