How to leave quickly?
 

Does anybody know of best way to leave the air force without having to PVR/NVR? Can you, if rumours are to be believed, leave after a month under the european constitution? I'm currently 8 yrs into a 12 yr engagement as NCA. I'm not looking at leaving yet, but it would be nice to know my options. Does anybody have any info or experience?

You could try the old "Fill out the clearance from the RAF paperwork and hand in your 1250 on the way out of the door." method and hope it slips through one of the huge holes in the system.

Not that I'm suggesting you actually do this mind.

Single? Try getting hitched to OSB's daughter/niece/PA.

Sending your commisioning scroll to Buck House with a covering letter... takes about 48 hours to become a civilian.
But that may not be the answer you are looking for...
TP

Now that the 'doing a Clinger' or the 'I've started fancying Bob' routes are closed, I'm afraid all I could think of is either:

• Become (or at least convince a quack you are) an irreconcilable dypsomaniac.
• Give Harry Staish a piece of your mind followed by the offer of a sook on the spliff you have been smoking while doing it.

Pray to Allah 5 times a day.......wait....sorry....that would lead to promotion.

Thump the nearest SO1 and tell them the voice in your head, whom you know to be Jesus, told you to do it.

Join the Foreign Legion?

Put your underpants on your head, stick two pencils up your nose...etc...etc.

Works every time.

Next time the CO is walking around the Mess, preferrably with visitors, make sure you are caught in the TV room, in best blue, hat on backwards, trousers round ankles having a 5 finger shuffle whilst watching 'SUMO TV'.

That should do nicely. :ok:

The was an officer once at N********* caught screwing his sergeant's wife when he was away. IIRC he was off the unit in 12 hours and out of the RAF is about 48....

Get religion and join a religious order. You can then leave on marriage as you are, legally, "marrying Christ". Who was the WRAF officer at Buchan who went off to become a nun, anyone remember?

Why not try...
 

...joining the BNP and becoming their poster-boy on all their electoral literature ("Brave British lad joins the national fight against the hordes of darkies flooding into our land"... you know the kind of thing.)

...committing a [B]minor[B] criminal offence: a bit of shoplifting from Aldi's perhaps.

...sneaking into Spitfire block, dodge the PA and curl one off on C-in-C Strike's desk, and hat, and mug, etc.

...leading a Greenpeace charge up the River Clyde and handcuffing yourself to a Trident boat - while dressed in full RAF No. 1 uniform!

...grabbing Harry Staish's wife's @rse at the next BofB dining-in night.

Or a combination of the above.

BTW, didn't that Kiwi quack at ISK serve 5 minutes in gaol before he was let out with a tag on his ankle while the whole thing was very quietly brushed uder the carpet?

Pose for playboy
 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6364585.stm

S

Fail your fitness test then refuse to do any remedial.

They have already booted someone out for poor "attitude to fitness" could be an open door....:D

And BTW tyropicard, NCA dont get commisioning scrolls.

Refuse all further blood tests (I assume they still prick you annually?) as a breach of your human rights.

Grounded

Flying Pay cut

'Stress', leading to

Long term sick

They wouldn't want you around for long on full pay.

CG

Bit harsh on the sergeant wasn't it? losing your wife and your job all in the same week. :8

Happy Eater

Rumour from the Chinook force is an NCA mate gave 30 days notice over crimbo and as he left handed in his 1250 at the guardroom. He has gone and I dont see him being chased all over the world to find him.

It does however open the gates. ie if he did it why cant you??

Good luck!:}

SFAIK, on the outside one can give notice pro rata to the frequency of one's pay day. Monthly paid= a month's notice

Start shouting and swearing at everyone and then claim you have Tourette Syndrome. (assuming you are junior enough not to be doing that sort of thing anyway) :E

i believe if you stand for parliment in the upcoming elections that automatically gets you booted out

RE How to leave quickly
 

Mymatetcm is correct, if you register to run for public office you get to leave. You could, as someone I know has done recently, PVR and request early dismissal. Alternatively challenge the system and let us all know how you get on.