Indoor Artillery
 

As I diversion from the general bitching and inane questions that have recently graced this forum, I am taking the liberty of prompting some slightly less serious discussion.

The glorious 60(R)Sqn currently has what I believe may be the most powerful Mess Cannon in the RAF. Based on the prototype built when on ULAS, the device is expertly engineered using a fire extinguisher for the breech and approx 6ft of steel piping for the barrel. This is mounted on a small gun carriage crafted from the wheels of a bike found at the back of the mess and a car jack, enabling fine adjustment to barrel elevation. The 2.5" weapon fires full cans of beer (ideally Kaliber or similar) up to about 120m, which burst satisfactorily on impact. The propellant is Lynx and piezo electric remote ignition may be added at the mid life upgrade. Its use in the mess would probably take out walls.

On a related note, I understand that parts of at least two messes have been destroyed with aircrew IEDs. I believe that Pablo Mason and a mate took out Wildenwrath OM annex.

CAN ANYONE BETTER THESE, EITHER CURRENTLY OR IN THE 'GOOD OLD DAYS'?

Incidently, why is the Military forum of the Professional Pilots' RuNe about 90% full of people who are neither military nor pilots. WEBF seems to be a prime example.

I'm sure Airtours (or is it My Travel ?) passengers will be thrilled to read of Pablo's drunken, destructive exploits in the Mess. Perhaps this should be a private forum after all! :D

Max Stout said:
 

I believe that Pablo Mason and a mate took out Wildenwrath OM annex.

1. I believe that a "mate" took Pablo out of a Tonka on his last military flight! Command ejection and all that.

2. It is "Sixty" if you please, not that number blah that everyone else has.

3. Sounds an impressive cannon, but a salt cellar in a bun knocking a Master Eng unconcious still gets the tick for me. ...and a Super Soaker directed at an AOC is a close second.

T_M

PS

Is said cannon proven in "Dining in" Combat?

LYNX!! LYNX!! Are you mad?

Real men use a mixture of Brut and Hai Karate (some of which goes into the cannon).

Any Puma mates want to tell the story of the Kosovo Cannon?

My vote goes to "Charlie Brown" atop the bar during a recent Taranto Night...outstanding marksmanship Sir!

This was OUTSIDE the mess at ODI, so a bit off topic.

The field gun that used to be charged with a thunderflash and a can of NAAFI beans used to be quite impressive.

Used to find beans all over the airfield until they welded up the barrel. Spoilsports, it was only innocent and harmless fun. :D

Cannons
 

Seem to recall a large calibre weapon kicking around at Leu in the early 90's that did a fair bit of damage on occiasion.....

Anyone have a better memory than me? SLUF are u out there?

DE Flt @ Wyton got video of Kirsty the afore mentioned prototype still going strong taking out a piano pre burning on summer camp. Level shot of tesco value lager a 50 paces nice hole created!:)

I believe at the Tarranto 50th dinner at portland there was a mess cannon, shoulder slung, firing tennis balls using a machined breach and using screw in butane gas cannisters as a propellant. Not large bore as the one above but made up for it in range and muzzle velocity apparently.

Now if it was exploding cabbages we were talking about.....

Indoor Artillery
 

Does a Centurion tank main gun, loaded with a blank, and fired into the Army Officers Mess at Waiouru, NZ, count?
The tank involved was manoeuvred so that the barrel muzzle was actually into the dining room when fired!
This occurred during a formal dining-in night sometime in the '60's(?), and the blast removed most of the windows, and everybody present's hearing.:D :D :D

The ultimate Mess Cannon is on display at Duxford. Perhaps they'd let you hire it for a dining-in night? :eek:

We had a Course Cannon at TTTE Cottesmore in the early Eighties. It was built out of ex-Airmens' Mess catering-size baked bean cans, boasted a calibre of approximately six inches, and was fuelled by lighter fluid. The projectile was a tennis ball, wrapped in many layers of newspaper and covered in bodge tape. It weighed about two pounds.

The cannon was 'christened' in the bar annexe at Cottesmore during a NATO duty-free-fuelled Christmas bash. The target was a hapless German Navy navigator (whose name now eludes me), who bravely (?) stood in front of the folding doors to the main bar with an empty wine bottle on his head and humming the theme from Rossini's 'William Tell' overture as the gun crew tried desperately to warm the thing up, being initially rewarded only with a pathetic popping sound and the projectile falling uselessly out of the barrel onto the floor. Not surprisingly, after a couple of repeats of this disappointment, the hitherto considerable level of interest from the assembled (increasingly inebriated) crowd began to wane; people began to turn away and interrupted conversations started up again.

However those who had so inconsiderately failed to honour the occasion with their continued attention were suddenly brought up short by a truly colossal detonation. The onlookers saw a very surprised 'gun crew' surrounded by a cloud of wispy blue smoke, an even more surprised German navigator, still with the wine bottle on his head and, about four feet above him, an impressively large, round hole in the wall. The cannonball came to rest on top of the suspended ceiling of the main bar.

The PMC went suborbital, and issued an edict to charge every officer present the princely sum of £5 towards repairs to the wall. However he was forced to reconsider this strategy when he was presented with a photograph, taken the same evening, starring himself as a quite properly enthusiastic member of the firing party...

I think the phrase went 'Ve haf ze negatif'. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I have always enjoyed a session of indoor artillery until I realised just how amateur our approach was:

The real professionals

I like the multi barrel affair!

Rule 1: Make sure the PMC's prints are on the trigger :)

Edited to add this article which shows a true dedication to the cause.

Knew a guy at Fort Rucker once who made spud guns to shoot at armadillos in his back garden.

..... and you tell that to the young folk of today - and they won't believe you!

To reply to Dunhovrin, a couple of the chaps (I think SPIN was there) had a cannon made from nothing more than an old map tube which puffed away quite nicely on top of the Hazbar until someone squirted some 'borrowed' medical oxygen into the thing.

Resulting explosion got the French and the Italians (who were on the other side of Skopje airfield) to stand to, and Cdr JHF to stand to apologise a pair of rather irate Colonels.

Or something like that

Phox-3

Quite right mate, "SLUF" built a monster at LU early 90s. As I recall, first proper firing, launched the "Half Brick, Bog paper and bodge tape" projectile out of the HAS site....so a replacement had to be made!

A garage door behind the Mess on a Friday bought it too......

SLUF, well done mate, that was an awesome beast!


C

Excellent thread Max, best for a while.

Your projectile is a Kaliber 'beer' can. Please tell me this is a play on words, or are you using this gun sober? Are you allowed to do that?? I'm sure that's against the rules.
And remember, always wear a flying suit when operating the contraption. During BFT my course built one, nothing in comparison to yours Max, out of the SOP catering bean tins. The bl00dy thing exploded after the usual 'phut', "Booooooo!", more lighter fluid, ''phut', "Boooo", even more, (repeat for 5 minutes), BANG! "ouch"
A fragment of can amost removed one of the team's thumbs; would have been worse if it wasn't for the suit.

More proof of the flying suit theory:
Sqn hedge jumping in Cyprus (after a lot of non Kaliber). Everyone makes if fine over the 6ft hedge, well some got stuck in the top but all were unharmed, apart from the SEngo (wearing blues) who landed on a tree stump and was taken to hospital and pizzed blood for a week.
What more proof do you need?;)

Evening chaps.Thanks for the appreciation Mr
Arrow. Max, acquired a symmetrical badge
with three letters on it, for the uniform,
today - how about that then?

OK the Pablo thing wasn't a bedewindow(sic)
that was taken from his book. Stout snr,
Hunter jock retired, was in I think
Khormaksar with a mate, who left the RAF
about 2 hrs after taking a Hunter under
Tower Bridge (5 points for anyone who knows
the name). Said gentleman took a slice of
cordite from a hunter starter cartridge,
placed it in a large kiwi tin, with
tangential holes in opposite sides, applied
heat and stood well back. Device spins to
about 150,000 rpm, rises to 20ft, one side
explodes and the remainder travels at Mach
quite a lot through a window into the mess.
As for the use of bean cans in mess cannons,
early experimentation saw a QFI nearly lose
fingers when the breech exploded! Aero eng
degree has taught me not to believe in the
spurious art of baffles. And Kaliber -
well,PC dictates that there should be some
simulated beers at sqn parties for
T-totallers. Guess what's left at the end of
the night - yep - that's what gets fired.

Excuse me, I'm due back in the bar for the
second sitting.
:)

PS Oh and Bayete,

Glad Kirsty, the prototype is still going strong. Her fatigue index must be getting quite high now. Maybe it really is time for electric ignition - I reckon shards of fire extinguisher might hurt a bit.

'Rocket Reg', he made a tops cannon in the far east from some bean tinz and a piazza (how ever you spell it) gas hob lighter that was great fun in the mess on fridays...ran on swan lighter fluid and luck.....and it was endowed with quite a range!

Allan Pollock