Then there's IBM - The Incredible Bullsh@tting Man.

And then there was BEagle!

....and 'Granny'!! Whose co-pilots were all known as 'Douglas Bader' - on account of having no operating legs!

On the same squadron at the same time, there was also an office shared by 2 Flt Cdrs. It was known as 'Room 38D' - because it contained the 2 biggest tits on the sqn!!

(Jim U. only found that out last week!!)

[This message has been edited by BEagle (edited 15 April 2001).]

BEagle, be ye not touchy, it was meant as a compliment, there was no sting.

Likewise, old chum! 'twas only an affectionate nickname - but we really did call the co-pilots Duggie Bs!!

38D was real enough - coined by one F Mercury, I believe, or perhaps it was the 'Chocolate Bar', after the painters couldn't be bothered to paint over the old numbers on the doors when they came to put new ones up. "Put 38D on this one", he was alleged to have said! Jimmy U laughed like a drain when he heard!

[This message has been edited by BEagle (edited 15 April 2001).]

Surely "Updick" would be a more appropriate name here!

How about "Lighthouse" Generally pretty dull with occasional flashes of brilliance

Had a loadie called "cadbury" - his specs had a half broken lens, hence the glass and a half reference.

Female crew called "Fugly", you work it out!

Captain ILS, as previously mentioned

Tornado Nav called 'Kruger Flaps' - 'cos although he was in the jet he was F*£k all use!

Another Nav who had numerous, unpleasant, nicknames (all of which he deserved!); however, the cleverest of these was:

'Lift Dump' - 'cos he used to pop up and spoil things!

PCD,

Why The Dark Shadow?

Knew another bloke called Thrapper..on account that he got caught in the act of self lurve in someone elses room by the room's owner, who also recognised the individual wearing his dressing gown to strobe purple in....he then ran down to the bar and didn't tell a soul....NOT

BGA,

All the Sqn wives were chatting about the nicknames that their husbands were called. Mrs "Sylvia" comes out with "all the boys call **** The Dark Shadow!" As they know him, the wives think this a little unlikely, so they go home and ask if he is indeed called the Dark Shadow, and, unsurprisingly, it's the first the blokes have heard of it! Apparently he had a badge with The Dark Shadow on it, and he used to put it on on his way home, and take it off again as he came in to work again.

Nice guy, nice and ....

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PCD

Returned to north yorkshire after 12 months in much sunnier climate, met new flight commander( RAF exchange pilot) who was lovingly refered to as 'lobster' by the senior hands in the flight. He was so pleased by his new Handle that he had it emblazoned on all his badges, believing it to be just another angle on 'CRAB'. However when his tour was eventually up and we all took him for the usual P!$$ up in 'Mucky Duck' the reality was pointed out to him. He was happy (or B) to find out that his likeness to the said custation was infact that it also has its A&$e in its head.
"Better than being called 'S4!t for brains' for 2 years me finks"
:)

[This message has been edited by Vinny Gerstroak (edited 16 April 2001).]

Vinny,

Following that all cRustacean exchange pilots adopted the tac callsign Lobster, cos we had one on 4. Although to be fair I think he had realised the link to defecating through ones head etc.

Detri

Short, loud, V-force AEO known as 'Voice Rotating Beacon'.

Female VC10 nav known at nav school as 'Tits on a Stick'.

SH chap, surname Tickle, predictably called 'Tess'.

Waaaay back in my youth we had a CO Base Sqn (who'd been removed from flying duties very early in his career) called Group Captain Pantyhose. = nearest thing to a c**t you could possibly imagine, but not actually a c**t, 'coz at least they're useful.

Had a stude on the UAS who was christened Sumo because he pulled an inordinately gigantic Doncaster Dragon at one party.

Base Pilot who was named ILS by the cabin crew coz he was ......common name it seems.

V Force co pilot who was given the epithet Doris by his plotter; think he still is known by the name 20+ yrs later.

Nil nos,

Ref voice rotating beacon, care to e-mail me? NB, I'm not him!

There was a young-ish Fg Off who thought we called him 'Zanusi' because it had something to do with being smart - the appliance of science and all that. But it was really because he was always on another planet!

There was a chap on IOT who was called Galactic Commander *****, because he was way, way above a space cadet!

Plus the usual sprinkling of OTISs and OSLOs.

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PCD

Used for a small(ish) female on sqn - GRUB. She though it was due to her diminutive stature.
Gormless Rancid Useless Bitch