We had a Nav on Albert known as 'Snap On'.

He was more than one tool.

Oh, and a Co who was on 24 (IIRC) an ex-Canberra guy. Known as 'Sledge'.


Always pulled by dogs.

Once flew with a guy who's surname was Bates...call sign 'Master'! :E

Let's not forget:

SLUF = Stupid Little Ugly F***er
ROLF= Right Obnoxious Little F***er
IFBAS = I'm F***ing Boring As Sh*t
OSLO = OuterSpace Liaison Officer

We also had an exchange pilot who had been given his life-long callsign by the USAF. However, we thought he looked more like Shrek. He objected and it stuck. He objected more strongly and it stuck more. He was a very big bloke....he threatened to kill people and return to the US and thereafter we called him Shrek behind his back.

A turban wearing, hindu, engine Cpl. was known to all, including O.C. Eng. as Turbine. Probably wouldn't be allowed today.

A balding bengo was known as Mudguard - shiney on top but full of crap underneath.

@Scottie66 I seem to remember there being all sorts of kerfuffle about Shrek, including US/UK officialdom being involved... and being told in one-liners to no longer call Shrek Shrek.

PS name and location is a dead give-away as to who you are, like mine I guess ;)

A friend at my local gliding club (30 years ago!) called Tressel. Always the poor guy stood there holding one wing-tip of the glider while the other wing was being put on or taken off!

Also recall a Puma pilot called Carlsberg - he thought he was probably the best pilot in the world!

But it didn't stop Shrek products and merchandise from mysteriously appearing on the Squadron....

"Shrek" Sounds like the instruction to stop calling Falkland Islanders "Bennies" (after the Crossroads characters for our younger viewers) - so they became "Stills" - because they were still Bennies

After the complaints about being called "stills" the Islanders became "Andys" . (Andys still a benny!)

ksimboy, thanks. I remember the benny thing, but couldn't remember what we called them after stills.

Three Heads
 

An armourer on 4Sqn was called 'Threeheads' and I was stupid enough to ask him why!

"Because my name is Kev MacEnernie"! :bored:

(sorry about the spelling Kev)

When I was an inmate at Headley Court sometime in the last century there was a remedial therapist whose name was Pete Miles - we knew him as Meat Piles because he was a big b&&ger.

Rgds SOS

No names, no pack drill

Female Herc pilot = EMU

*Big tall ugly bird who can't fly

Female Herc Navigator = PANG

*The noise made when the shovel had obviously once hit her in the face

I knew the first female Herc pilot, before she went for pilot training and she was beautiful - so there! Wiz.

Rgds SOS

There was an AEO on Nimrods known as COOT, C**** O***** Oxygen Thief, and a short hairy Nav on 206 who stated on his first day on the Sqn that he didn't want to be called 'Monkey' (this was his nickname going through Cranwell). I'll let you guess what his namebadge said when it turned up. :E

Lyneham (of avionics bay & later B line fame in the late 80's) had a WAAF called 10BA - allegedly the smallest screw in the RAF :eek:

The first German exchange instructor on TWCU at Honington was called Hauptmann Wanka. We didn't give him a nickname.

SPIN

Long after I had left the RAF and when I was involved in displaying vintage/veteran aircraft at air displays, the officer assigned to mentor me in the ways of the RAF Officers’ Mess at RAF Leeming(?) was a Tornado navigator called “Spin”. He was fairly short in stature.

At the end of festivities in the Mess on the Friday evening before the display, transport to the hotel was late to pick up those of us left behind. Spin told us that his wife was en route to the Mess, and he had arranged that she would drop a visiting French display pilot and me off at the hotel. In thanking her for providing us with transport, by way of light conversation I asked her the origin of his nickname. Was it perhaps because he liked the sensation of spinning? Not so, she replied, he was the Shortest Person In Nato.

Lass at Bruggen who had a really trim, well honed physique but was not too pretty was known as BOBFOC - Body Off Baywatch Face Off Crimewatch.

Sideshow, there was also the AEOp that used to prop up the mess bar after he "moved back in" known as Braddle - he really was a boring tool!! :ok:

QUOTE: The first German exchange instructor on TWCU at Honington was called Hauptmann Wanka. We didn't give him a nickname

There are lots of Schitters in Austria ............

On a different Sqn at Kinloss they had a chap known as Otter. His wife hated the name and complained to the Boss.

Instead he became NOtter - Not Otter

After another complaint he became SNOtter - Still not Otter

After the final complaint he became SNATCHO - Still not allowed to call him Otter

Lovely chap!

A really nice chap in the RAF who was christened 'FUGLY'....

And another chap who wished to be referred to as the Squadron QFI and not the 'TROFF'......NTT it was!

For useless Sergeants: "Aquafresh"; a tube with three stripes.

Back in the days of Stanley OC1312 Flt (Scottish chap). Thought his nickname of Starmac was because of his nationality and he was an around good chap. At his departure beers one of the ground crew chaps pointed out it meant "stands to reason , mans a c**t".

There was a young lady on Hercs I think who had a rather unfortunate surname for a girl....known as Buster (at least that's what her name patch said!)

TTTE
 

Recall someone at TTTE Cottesmore - Not sure if staff or a student, but used to cycle into work from Oakham religiously, whether rain or shine.

Managed to collide with the rear end of a big Swedish built estate car one morning in nasty weather and impacted his forehead with the tailgate, leaving quite a nasty imprint of the manufacturer's name in reverse...

Thereafter known as "OVLOV"

That's funny, there was a helicopter pilot with the same nickname but his was from a head-on with said boxy Scandinavian product.

ISTR a story of a member of the WRAF who was at Lyneham who was known to engineers across the place as SPANNER, it was rumoured she was so attractive that only one look from her and your nuts turned !!

I still don't know why all British services call someone with a surname of Smith;

Smudge :ok:

SACW with a limp that was called Wonky donkey......

Also at Lyneham, Twin Peaks, Milk Shake and last but not least the Drift Bitch.

We also had a TAPS in Goose Bay .... Thick As Pig S***

TBT,

I'm sure I remember the "drift bitch".

Smudge

Exocet - you can see him coming but can do nothing about it.

Puma QHI called Microwave, everything got done really quickly, but not quite done all the way through.

Smudge,

You should, you could have been related (that should be a cryptic enough clue for you ;) )

TBT. She had more hair than Smuj didn't she?

One of our Flight Engineers, having been pulled up by the Fat Controller over his 10 O'clock shadow, was heard to complain that the Nav in question had more hair on her upper lip than he did!

Smudge,

It may have been a V force thing, but most of the Smiths I met were known as "Scrote". All Harrys were "Harry the Bastard".