Boy, they certainly spoil Officers today
 

Just look


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Thats' s a rather cheap & nasty wine to include; how about something from South Australia or Marlborough?

Utter Genius.

But wouldn't his batman take it out of the box and prepare it for him?

Beats the old "K" Ration into a cocked hat ! (but where's the toilet paper ?)

That is the Marine Corporal !!

Surely, the candelabra should be silver with at least two candles in case one of them blows out leaving the officer unable to light his cigar.

Obvious spoof, cheap sausages for breakfast? Much too common and bland.

The proper pack contains devilled kidneys and kedgeree.

When the scales of field equipment for airborne forces were being considered - circa 1942 - one item was how many sheets of loo paper. This seemed to baffle the officers who formed the necessary (ney vital) sub committee, so history has it that they decided to ask the orderly who was looking after the staff.

He is reputed to have answered - quick as a flash - 'four, Sir'.

'On what do you base that' he was asked.

'One up, one down, one across and one for polish' was the response.

Old Duffer

PS The days when sheets of loo paper were over printed with Government property, loo paper was known as; the Army Blank Form.

RSM addresses parade, holding up roll of toilet paper. "You may use.." (tears off slowly & deliberately) "two sheets of paper. You will not do this!" (tears off about 2m of paper, places between legs and see-saws it back and forth.)

After 48 hours on 'compo' rations, any actual opportunity to require the use of 'Paper, toilet, bum for the wiping with' would be pretty unlikely....:uhoh:

Hydromet


I can remember being taught that it was, three sheets....."one polish and two shine" - that was in the days when the paper also had Government Property printed on every sheet.


Happy days.


MB

And was shiny and "medicated with Izal Germicide" ISTR

And a little stiff - the paper that is/was

... and had a little blank square outline in the corner of each sheet. This was to allow officers to tick, to indicate that it had been used!:E

I was taught one folded it in four and tore off the corner, one then pushed owns finger through the hole in the centre when unfolded and used it to help scoop the poop, post poop scooping, one slid it up ones finger cleaning that, then taking the torn of corner used that to clean ones nail...


It was and still remains the only Government white paper ever worth a sh*te.

Luxury! At my school we had toilet paper called Bronco which was as kind to young rear ends as greaseproof paper! The headmaster used to boast about it at every opportunity. I think the old misanthrope probably had shares in the company.

Beagle has it absolutely correct. I well remember as a Halton apprentice doing the "week in Wales" on compo and only managing two visits to the ablutions. The Babies heads from the compo packs were gratefully consumed, I ended up with a surfeit of "bog paper". Would that make toilet paper in the compo pack a "contradiction of terms" ?

Smudge :ok:

Knowing that the 'officers ration pack' lecture has been doing the rounds for at least 30 years I do wonder just how old the routine is.

Should always carry a small jar of curry powder. Only way to make that stuff palatable! :)

Bob C